We were supposed to all get old together!

This really hits home for me. And while your friends' split might not be your own personal tragedy, it certainly affects your life in great measure, and I think grieving is a perfectly appropriate response.

I hope things get much better for you soon.

P.S. Give your cat a scritch under the chin from me.

Friends splitting up is awful, especially because the people you would go to talk to about these things are probably them. When my friends split up this summer, I was also upset because their relationship (which had been rocky but then seemed to resolve) was sort of an inspiration to me.
I am not sure if you looked up to that relationship in any way, but I find that I tend to see certain relationships as role models or things I'd like to have one day, and then when they break up, I feel a little lost.
Sorry if you are feeling that way too.

Good luck to your cat, and I hope there is no third thing!

Listen to Atom Eyes: you're not stealing their grief or any other feelings, you're quite entitled to your own.

Healing kitty mojo on it's way to Daksha and big hugs to you, MM.

Poor kitty! And poor you for all the worries you're going under right now. Atom Eyes said it best: you are most certainly entitled to your own grief over the end of what "was supposed to be". Even if it's not your marriage, it's still a loss; a shift in dynamics; a break up of a different sort. I hope the car thing works out, too.
((((((Medieval Maven)))))))

I totally understand the grief thing. I made a new friend about eighteen months ago, and got to know her husband a bit too. They came to our wedding a year ago. I looked up to them as role models, in that they were together, pursuing hobbies, working and raising kids, apparently successfully, in a way I want to do one day.

Then it emerged that during most of the time I'd known her, she'd been having an affair, and she's now splitting up with her husband. Which has made me feel really stupid and inadequate- I thought I'd got to know her, and it turns out I knew very little.

I realise it's not like your situation but just so you know it's ok to have your own feelings about this.

I'm home now, and the little guy is home, too. He's a lot more mobile/alert than he has been before after sedation, and he's hiding out because he's a little po'ed at us for administering his pain meds (but, not as mad as he would be about being in pain, so), but he's going to be fine. He has Feline odontoclastic resorptive lesions, which the vet is telling us that they don't know really what causes it - they think it's connected to malnutrition when they're kittens. So before we rescued him, he was not well taken care of (shocker) and now he's paying for it. I'm not sure I wouldn't rather be responsible for not brushing his teeth.

On the subject of my friends, it's just . . . they are both of them my dearest, closest friends. I made friends with them independently in college and they got together separately from any connection with me. It's been 10 years, and the very idea of their marriage dissolving is so awful - and I love them both very much. Being helpless (and I'm a fixer!) is pretty awful.

So, thanks. I need people outside of the situation to tell me it's OK to be so upset. It makes me feel more like I'm not completely crazy.