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09 December 2008

Today, just before I left work, one of the managers called an impromptu meeting. [More:] Apparently, some employee has been using tile grout to draw huge graffitti tags on the wall of the employee bathrooms. Vandalizing the store is apparently a fireable offense. Good to know. Although on the little paper sign on the toilet tank reading 'Remember To Flush" or something, somebody's drawn a lot of little pictures of penises in ballpoint. Nobody's complained about those.

Also, there's this unkempt mentally ill (how exactly, I'm not sure) dude of about 21, who'd been bothering one of the girls who maintains the display tables. "He started off amusingly weird and got creepy," she said. A week ago he was banned from the store. He came up to the buying desk today to talk to the managers. He thought he could could come back 'because Mom said so." "Your mom dosen't decide these things." "Well, I won't be back Tuesday or Wednesday." "You won't be back ever" "Well, then, and I mean this, Merry Christmas..." (for best results imagine in the voice of Matt Foley, Motivational Speaker after inhaling a tankful of helium.) Another guy who had loudly cussed out one of the managers previously, tried to sneak back in using the cloaking device of wearing a fucking hat. The manager saw through this elaborate subterfuge and told a guard to 'get this deadbeat outta here!' Sometimes I wonder whether I work in a bookstore or an asylum.

(also, I ordered this book from a seller on bn.com a few days ago. It's shipped already, but it hasn't arrived yet. It's being shipped from Texas, how long could that take, for pete's sake? I've read it before and loved it, then lost my copy, so I really want it again. It was published in Canada only (the author is legendary Canadian writer Mordecai Richler's son), so it's hard to find in the States. I also found this book in a box today. Definitely getting that one on payday.)
How hard/easy is it to get banned? It sounds like that happens frequently.
posted by hellojed 09 December | 22:48
It's actually fairly hard. You have to either threaten or verbally abuse an employee or another customer, nod out on booze or dope, get caught stealing, or jerk off/expose yourself in the store. The amount of people in New York and multiply the numbers exponentially.
posted by jonmc 09 December | 23:03
Any of that wouldn't even rent a detention at my school (except maybe the jerking off/exposure).

This morning, when I arrived at my classroom, there was a very strong odor of crayon in the room. Apparently, while I was out yesterday, some of my little miscreants took it upon themselves to melt crayolas on the radiator in the back of the room. They complained bitterly of the smell this morning. I just looked at them. "Well, that's what you get when you melt crayons on the radiator."

Plus, I have a nasty rash. Combination of winter skin and nerves, I think. Is it Christmas yet?
posted by Pips 09 December | 23:14
Are you kidding me, pips? No detention for threatening a teacher? Damn hooligans.

I kicked someone out of my facility last week. I was great at it. Very smiley while showing them to the door. A magazine kid spreading the Word walked right into our building and was attempting to hit patients up for money while they were on the Nautilus machines.
posted by LoriFLA 10 December | 07:59
Ahhh--the trials and tribulations of working in a book store. I remember those days well. Yes, the guy who looked like Jesus and would stand in front of the test prep guides talking out loud to them. The time I busted 2 young Mormon giys (who were taking a break from their mission) stealing D & D books...so many memories.
posted by govtdrone 10 December | 08:20
I just want to say that I think it's awesome that Steely Dan wrote a song that mentions your job and workplace.
posted by rocket88 10 December | 12:36
jonmc, did you know that the Canadian and U. S. editions of Kicking Tomorrow have even weirder differences than the British/U. K. Harry Potter differences? They're musically significant differences, so it's important that you be alert to them. There's an article about it somewhere, but I think I might have to use the Internet archive to find it. I'll try to hunt it down now. If I get distracted and forget, pester me by email.
posted by tangerine 11 December | 22:30
Name That Goon: || Cyclo Claus

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