I like to read, but I find books are generally disappointing presents- people give me the things they want me to read, which don't always overlap with the things I want to read. I say, get her something she's actually going to like.

Maybe some kind of gift card to a friendly local bookshop (and other crap) store place? Like Borders? That way she still gets the 'yay books' but if she prefers magazines to novels, then she gets what she wants.

And is still reading.


(I feel you on the reading battle. My homie doesn't read to her kid and I keep giving the kid books for all occasions, heh.)

Can you take her to the bookstore and pick out books with her, instead of for her? I do this with my younger cousin, sometimes, because I have no way of knowing what she's already read.

Sorry, forgot to add:

Have a mental list of books that you liked at her age, so that you can direct her browsing if she seems overwhelmed or confused.

Ask your boyfriend if he thinks it's ok to do a non-book present, and if he says yes, do it. There are better ways to encourage a kid to read than buying her books she isn't into, and I bet she's be more excited by some other kind of present if it is available.

If books are what the boyfriend says, then maybe you could get her a fun magazine subscription or a graphic novel instead. Or a gift card to a bookstore.

Despite the fact that his father & I met in a bookstore, my kid doesn't love to read. He always enjoys magazines, though. Lately, he's enjoyed reading books, so you never know. Many young women really like fashion magazines. Feel free to give a non-reading gift. Reading is all sorts of good, but so is music, and there's nothing wrong with clothes, esp. at that age.

My brother hated to read fiction novels but he loved comic books and graphic novels. My parents were upset for awhile but they eventually gave up. Honestly, I don't know the difference between some of the crappy sci-fi/fantasy I used to read and my brother's old superhero comics, except my books had a lot more sex and swearing.

Y'all are most excellent at answering questions *grin*

Honestly, I've picked over books I liked at her age and her reading skills just aren't there yet, which is why the familial push for reading. But I just can't imagine being 11-going-on-12, uninterested in reading and suddenly developing a hankering for it because I'm being inundated with stuff other people like. The two books I picked were agonized over for days - what is her reading level (mid range YA), what does she like (horror movies, sparkly girl things) and what do I like in that range (see above)?

We offered to take her to the bookstore, but the result is that she usually heads straight for picture books that are far far far below her actual reading level. When queried, she is apathetic at best, irritated/short-tempered at worst.

My next tactic was going to be a GN, possibly a Fruits-Basket-Like-Manga, but I'm afraid of burning her out to the tune of "Oh, another book from Aunt Oreonax, pfft."

I think I might settle for a kit or a Klutz book. Something we can put our heads together over when I'm back there for the hols.

Thanks all!

Book gifts == no

Might as well give socks. I see absolutely no reason why you should have to join in with making the poor girl hate reading. Love of reading can't be imposed and attempting to do so will lead to the opposite results.

Oh, forgot to add:

Why not be the kewl 'aunt' who breaks from the family tradition and gives something interesting?

Heh. At the moment, the family tradition ~is~ that I'm the cool aunt who comes up with fun things to do when we're in town. Hence the hope that book-from-cool-aunt might work better.

Sadly, the first book I gave her (just as a random thing), she said she liked a lot. Turns out we're not sure if she actually read it or liked it.

BUT before I found out that that was in question, I'd picked out the second one and gave it to her (this time as a - look here we are in town! kind of thing).

I'm not trying to be obtuse or to beat her over the head with reading, we were just really really hoping one of these two would take as the seemed to be right up her alley. *shrug* So it goes, right?

Little Women, she might have it on a shelf and find it later. Mother West Winds "How", "Why", "When", and "Where" are very pleasant reads; and as with Little Women can just plain look nice on a shelf too.

Wizard of Earthsea; I mean, maybe she is on the cusp of a pre-goth era of pubesence.

I've always loved books as gifts and especially book store gift certificates, but my absolute favourite books aged 11-12 were Virginia Andrews, Sweet Valley High and Sweet Dreams. Oh, and Piers Anthony's Incarnations of Immortality series, Ayn bloody Rand's The Fountainhead and Stephen King's It and Carrie. These are all crap, if you'd notice (apart from the Stephen King).

If she's not a reader already I think it's a tricky age to start trying to encourage her and I'd probably go with the gift certificate myself, but notice what she chooses so you can start working with her on reading better books, but pertinent to her interests. I think I would have loved the Gossip Girl books if they'd been around when I was 12.

If she likes the outdoors, the nature type of digest sized books with color pictures of birds, or mammels that have the small description paragraphs, and a map of the animals regions might work well. Bonus is that a parent might enjoy it if the kid doesn't. They don't cost much and also seem to fit ok on shelves for years too.

Reading happens. FWIW, I started on the Lord of the Rings trilogy three times in my pre-teens before it hooked in and I burnt through it all in a week or so. Not reading a lot today might be reading constantly in a few months.

We offered to take her to the bookstore, but the result is that she usually heads straight for picture books that are far far far below her actual reading level. When queried, she is apathetic at best, irritated/short-tempered at worst.

I would be, too, good grief. If she wants to read picture books or magazines or cereal boxes, what does it matter? She's reading. The more you read (anything!), the better you get at it, and the better you get at it, the more you like reading and the more you read. Be the cool aunt and get everybody off her case.

Hitching a ride here: For my 12-year-old niece, I've already decided on "His Dark Materials" trilogy... What is something (book-wise) equally cool for her nine-year-old sister? These are my American nieces, and they are fine with books.

Also, does anyone have the Neocube or Cybercube? I'm thinking about this for my eight-year-old nephew. Good idea? (I have one book for him already - a Greek children's classic about the adventures of a wayward family dog by Penelope Delta, which is, yes, the coolest name ever. And her real name. RIP.)

The idea here is that I'm not interested in getting her another book - your recommendations will all be filed for future reference, I'm just wondering whether I'd be sending an inappropriate message by "giving up". Sounds like the consensus is no.

And just to clarify a bit, TPS, the query is usually: whatcha been into lately? She's ... just not into having that conversation and we live across the country, which makes it hard to observe her behaviour. Lately, we've been asking the surrounding family but there's this overriding desire to Get Her Reading, which, again, I support the idea but don't think that throwing things at her to read will really work. And as for reading the picture books? She doesn't.

Taz: That trilogy is muy bueno - LOVE it to pieces and bits. What are the 9yo's interests? As a shot in the dark : The Phantom Tollbooth is FABulous. And no, don't have the Neocube or Cybercube.

taz - speaking for myself, I would have loved those presents as a kid. You might want to ask his parents first, though. Some might have a problem bringing small rare earth magnets into the house.