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20 September 2008

Great green gobs of greasy grimy gopher guts... Did you sing this song as a child? What version did you sing?→[More:]

For some reason this came up tonight--it turns out that both BOP & I sang this song (and sung it again quite happily tonight), but different versions. That got me to wondering: How many versions are there of the gopher guts song? Who grew up with which version? What regional variations are out there? Thus, I have turned childish silliness into serious adult-like discussion. No, really!

So here's the version I grew up with. All others, of course, are wrong ;) Sing along if you know the tune:

Great green gobs of greasy grimy gopher guts
Chopped up monkey meat
Disconnected birdie feet
All mushed up and put in a candy
Dollar forty-nine plus three cents tax

post by: elizard at: 20:51 | 28 comments

Great big gobs of greasy grimy gopher guts
Mutilated monkey meat
Little birdies' dirty feet
That's my mother's newest favorite recipe
All in a bowl of blood

Sometimes the last line was "And I forgot my spoon".

(This was Baton Rouge, Louisiana, in the late 80s/early 90s.)

But then I'm a horribly contaminated person for this kind of question because I grew up reading delightfully dry books about the metamorphosis and regional variations among children's playground rhymes and urban legends.

posted by Fuzzbean 20 September | 20:55

Hee!

(Oh yeah, my version was in east Toronto, Ontario.)

posted by elizard 20 September | 20:58

Great green globs of greasy grimy gopher guts
Mutilated monkey meat
Little birdie dirty feet
French fried eyeballs sitting in a pool of blood
and i forgot my spoon

So gimme a ham sandwich, us on top
monkey eyeballs, camel snot
doggie doo doo, chopped two
Eat it, fuzzbean, it's good for you.

--somewhere in the tristate area.

posted by ethylene 20 September | 21:00

*feels her teeth and bones getting stronger already*

posted by Fuzzbean 20 September | 21:01

Wait, that's little dirty birdie feet.

posted by ethylene 20 September | 21:02

Great green gobs of greasy grimy gofer guts
Mutilated monkey meat
Dirty little piggies feet
On a filthy toilet seat
To eat without a spoon
YUCK!

posted by MonkeyButter 20 September | 21:08

(Long Island, NY - 1970's)

posted by MonkeyButter 20 September | 21:09

I'm fascinated that there are so many versions of this. Sadly, I can't remember the whole song:

Great green gobs of greasy grimy gopher guts
Mutilated monkey meat,
Little turdy birdie feet,
French fried eyeballs swimming in a frying pan,
Whoops, I forgot my spoon.

So I made a scab sandwich right on top,
Monkey eyeballs, camel snot,
Duh-duh-duh-duh,
Duh-duh too,
Eat your sandwich, it's good for you!

Texas, late 80s/early 90s.

posted by grouse 20 September | 21:21

Great green globs of greasy grimy gopher guts
Stinky slimy squirrel butts
Little birdie wirdie feet

Great green globs of greasy grimy gopher guts
And I for-got my spoon....

So I used a straw.

(Georgia, late 1970s)

posted by BoringPostcards 20 September | 21:32

(We absolutely need to make a post where everybody sings their version on camera and posts it to YouTube, BTW.)

posted by BoringPostcards 20 September | 21:35

Great green gobs of greasy grimy gopher guts,
Mutilated monkey meat
Chopped up baby parakeet
All wrapped up in all purpose porpoise pus
And (insert child's name here) forgot (his/her) spoon

So s/he'll have to use a straaaaw.

Philly 70s/80s

posted by jrossi4r 20 September | 21:40

The WikiP page on the song has little but interesting information. An early recorded version of the song with a camp-fire version too.

posted by MonkeyButter 20 September | 21:44

Great green gobs of greasy grimy gopher guts
Mutilated monkey meat
Little dirty birdie feet
Great green gobs of greasy grimy gopher guts
And me without my spoon!

(Late 70s, early 80s, Atlantic provinces of Canada)

posted by loiseau 20 September | 21:52

Just north of Baton Rouge, LA. Late 70's, early 80's

Great green globs of greasy grimey gopher guts
Mutilated monkey meat
Chopped up baby parakeet
French-fried eyeballs swimming in a pool of blood
And me without my spoon.

....but I've got a straaaaaaawwww!

My sisters learned this chant at Girl Scout Camp Marydale and brought it home to us.

posted by ColdChef 20 September | 21:53

That was pus on top and the 70s.

posted by ethylene 20 September | 22:21

I can't remember, but the first line was the same and the second was definatley "mutilated monkey nuts."

posted by rainbaby 20 September | 22:25

Great green gobs of greasy grimy gopher guts
Mutilated monkey meat
Little dirty birdie feet
French-fried eyeballs rolling up and down the street
But I forgot my fork
But I have a strawwwwww.

posted by brujita 20 September | 23:54

The version I remember is almost identical to ColdChef's.

(Birmingham, AL, mid-70s)

Great green gobs of greasy grimy gopher guts
Mutilated monkey meat
Chopped up baby parakeet
French-fried eyeballs floatin' in a bowl of blood
And me without my spoon!

(Too bad!)

posted by BitterOldPunk 20 September | 23:59

I got the same version as loiseau. loiseau , i think we were cheated out of some extra grossness.(70s. Northern California.)

posted by small_ruminant 21 September | 00:38

Do we want to discuss the Diarrhea Song next? I noticed a month or so back (hehe) there's a Wikipedia entry for that too.

posted by loiseau 21 September | 01:00

What a horrible song. The one I used to sing as a kid was:

Yellow pus custard
Green snot pie
All mixed together
With a dead cat's eye.

If you like it
Spread it on thick
And drink it down
With a cup of cold sick.

I think it's a 'folkloric' rhyme, certainly in the Midlands/North of England, as it's alluded to by John Lennon in 'I am The Walrus' where he sings: "Yellow matter custard, dripping from a dead dog's eye.".

posted by essexjan 21 September | 02:26

How stupid am I reading this over breakfast? That cup of cold sick really put me over the edge. bleah.

posted by DarkForest 21 September | 06:32

Wow, ej. I'm so sorry I missed out on that one. And the Diarrhea Song? Do tell!!!!

posted by BitterOldPunk 21 September | 10:12

Great green gobs of greasy, grimy gopher guts
Simulated monkey meat
Chopped up baby parakeet
Great green gobs of greasy, grimy gopher guts
And me without my spooooooooooon!

Southern California, early late seventies, early eighties.

I also remember a song about the littlest worm, and one about a baby bumble bee, both of which involved destroying the little critters, ingesting and out-gesting them rather quickly.

posted by msali 21 September | 10:30

Damn. That BOP comment was me.

I remember the bumblebee song, too. And one about dying from eating a rotten peanut.

posted by elizard 21 September | 10:40

Okay, I seem to be the only one with a version that involves selling it as a confection. I'll email the siblings and see what they remember, and report back.

posted by elizard 21 September | 10:51

The Diarrhea Song was an unlimited series of stanzas of this format:

"When you're sliding into home
and your pants are full of foam
diarrhea!
diarrhea!

When you're climbing up a ladder
and you hear something splatter
diarrhea!
diarrhea!"

There was even:

"Floatin' down the gutter
on a piece of bread & butter
diarrhea!
diarrhea!"

As you can see the possibilities are limitless.

http://diarrheasong.blogspot.com/

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Diarrhea_Song

posted by loiseau 21 September | 21:11

YOU'RE ALL DOING IT WRONG, WRONG I TELL YOU!!!

great green gobs of grimygreasy gopherguts
mutilated monkeymeat
dirty little birdyfeet
french fried eyeballs SOAKED IN KEROSENE
all onna plate for a dollar ninety-eight

...and two cents taaaaax!

southern Ohio, circa. oh, 30 years ago now

posted by lonefrontranger 22 September | 09:42

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