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03 September 2008

What if? [More:]

What if I had a teleporter and a jetpack?

What if I had a trained rhinoceros for a guard dog?

What if I could clone myself and the extras were somehow miraculously way more motivated than I am?

what if?
What if snakes were climbing up the stairs to my office right now?
posted by rmless2 03 September | 10:27
What if I could give a real margarita to anyone I wished THROUGH THE INTERTUBES?

now that would be pretty spiffy.
posted by lonefrontranger 03 September | 10:34
What if it really was a weather balloon?

What if it wasn't?
posted by Daniel Charms 03 September | 10:36
What if the US could no longer rely on immigrants to do all the boring tasks?
posted by Melismata 03 September | 10:51
*sends lfr a margarita*

Did it work?
posted by lysdexic 03 September | 10:58
What if I had my dog's life, and she had mine?
posted by ThePinkSuperhero 03 September | 10:59
*sips frosty lime-agave scented goodness*

*hides from boss*

posted by lonefrontranger 03 September | 11:00
What if I were sitting in 9th grade right now, starting high school, and knew all the stuff that I know now?

(About life in general, not historical events, although that would be cool also . . . I would save up for Microsoft stock.)
posted by danf 03 September | 11:06
What if I got run over by a truck made of marshmallows? Would I get a state funeral, or?
posted by cmonkey 03 September | 11:07
What if winged serpents not only became common, but amassed to plague proportions?

What if flying was more than great cardio?

What if i could find a vehicle to alternatively, economically fuel as a form of the Night Bus and to enforce vacation and other in person services of aid and motivational ass kickery?

What if heartlessly timed force majeure and sitcom logic had not dominated my life for over twenty years and i could straight up try and fail like every other mook on the planet?

i have what amounts to answers to all your what ifs, but i am so tired.
posted by ethylene 03 September | 11:12
what if we had never met?
posted by crush-onastick 03 September | 11:15
what if *I* was a weather balloon?

what if I could make a mean beurre blanc?

what if I could tap the source of all malaise and magically convert it into a cheap, clean fuel source?
posted by lonefrontranger 03 September | 11:19
What if cockroaches were made of delicious chocolate?

What if X ≠ X?

What if "The Creature from the Black Lagoon" was a documentary?

What if being photographed really did steal your soul?

What if pogo sticks were the only available method of transportation?
posted by BitterOldPunk 03 September | 11:41
What if it was possible to make miniature versions of any animal in the world?

What if everyone was psychic?

What if Michael Bolton was the greatest living singer?

What if Donald Trump's ego could be harnessed as fuel?

What if the number 5 was actually a dude?

What if your tiny little mind just got blown?
posted by Hellbient 03 September | 11:51
"What if pogo sticks were the only available method of transportation?"

BOP I want to come live in your alternaverse with pogosticks (with which the only acceptable attire would involve a flirty skirt) and dark chocolate cucharachas, ethylene and her economically green Night Bus of motivational asskickery, and let us not forget cmonkey and the marshmallow trucks.
posted by lonefrontranger 03 September | 11:51
what if I could bring back wearing pants backwards?

what if I could make you jump jump?

what if I was the mack daddy?
posted by stynxno 03 September | 11:52
These are great. With funny/snarky answers, like the ones I keep imagining, this could be the metachat FAQ.
posted by DarkForest 03 September | 11:58
What if we were all eight inches tall and had purple skin? Like the smurfs, but, y'know, purple?

What if we had all lost the power of normal speech and had to communicate everything by singing?

What if we had never left the oceans? What if evolution had produced intelligent, self-aware life below the surface of the sea?

What if people won acclaim on the internet for being smart and funny and contributing good stuff, not being contentious assholes?

What if the crazy guy muttering to himself in the street really is talking to God?

What if you woke up one morning speaking a language you did not understand?

posted by jason's_planet 03 September | 12:10
what if dogs are actually orchestrating the US government?
posted by chewatadistance 03 September | 12:38
what if we had never met?
More to the point, what if we had?

what if dogs are actually orchestrating the US government?
That would explain a lot.

What if there were a way to touch people over the Internet? What would happen first, a kiss or a murder?

What if we could truly absorb the knowledge of past generations instead of inheriting the traits that head us down the path of the same stupid mistakes?

posted by dg 04 September | 02:28
See-through skyscraper. || OMG Bunny Mandala!