"official" vs. actual job descriptions →
My official job description is something like "Legal Assistant", only probably not that exciting.
My actual job description is something more like "Document Wrangler", with a side of "Executive Cat-Herder" and a soupcon of "Oh Christ, You Mean [Bureaucratic Idiots Collective du Jour] Really Wasn't Kidding About That?!".
I'm thinking of recommending to my boss that a whip, chair, and spangled leotard should become written into our process manuals as mandatory safety equipment for this job title.
Or at least a trapeze.