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04 August 2008

Warning: Very mean-spirited, ranting, complaining post. [More:] I bought a baby gift on Saturday for a friend who just adopted a baby... and although we called her and asked her what she needed, and told her we wanted to buy something significant (like, expensive and necessary or helpful), so she should tell us what she really needed - she said she would have to think about it. Which meant that we had to buy a "marker gift" for coming to the house and seeing the baby.

And I got him some ridiculously expensive summer clothes, but they were half off since it was July. But now she called to say that they don't fit, so we should turn them back for Fall/Winter clothes. Arrrgh. We'll probably get a hat for the price of half-off two cute T-Shirts and shorts.

Plus, I hate shopping with a fiery passion.

It was a fucking big deal for us to walk a million miles to a super-overpriced department store to spend too much on half-priced name-brand stuff. I haven't even bought anything for myself in about three years; I seriously wear the same five things over and over.

And now? I have to take this stuff back, and try to buy something Fall? omg just kill me now. Plus we're supposed to go out of town the day after tomorrow. Fuck me.

I know this is small and mean, but we really just wanted to buy her something "big" that she needed, and we're still on the line for that, but in the meantime, the "something small" got a lot bigger.

I hate shopping.
The child needs a pet. Get them a big dog.
posted by arse_hat 04 August | 11:45
heh. I luz you, eevil 1.
posted by taz 04 August | 11:49
Mean spirited? Psshaw! I was hoping you'd finish with something along the lines of:

"P.S. Their baby was ugly."
posted by Atom Eyes 04 August | 11:49
Fuck that. No, seriously: I cannot believe the amazing rudeness it would take to call someone and tell them the clothes they bought your baby don't fit and they will have to replace them?!?!? That is beyond the pale and she should know it. Please. Gifts are from the heart of the giver. If they don't work out perfectly, then the recipient sucks it up and is quiet about it. I had two kids; I can't imagine telling someone who gave me a present that it wouldn't work and they had to replace it. Yes, I got clothes that were too small for my giant children (10 lbs, my son, no wonder he's 6'3" now) and I just quietly put them in the goodwill or next baby shower pile and told my friends how wonderful they were. Babies grow out of clothes every three weeks anyway; it's not like you don't always have a goodwill pile going.
posted by mygothlaundry 04 August | 11:50
You didn't have to buy a marker gift, ya silly. You should have just bought some pastry over.

And um...the giver doesn't take the clothes back and exchange them. The giftee does. What a maroon. (not you, her)
posted by iconomy 04 August | 11:59
But, I didn't give her the receipt - and now, looking for it - I can't find it. It just keeps getting better. :)
posted by taz 04 August | 12:02
Take the clothes back and replace them with a book, or a hat, or something the child can use many years from now. Say, "It's a Fall/Winter book, maybe for Fall/Winter, 2022."
posted by Hugh Janus 04 August | 12:03
"You didn't like the clothes I bought, so I returned them and bought a samovar instead. Every child needs a samovar."
posted by Hugh Janus 04 August | 12:09
Give her the receipt and let her make the trip. Tell her she can then choose something herself.
posted by essexjan 04 August | 12:13
"I'm sorry, it was a surprise; I planned on sending all of you on a wonderful tour of the southern hemisphere, but I refuse to even reserve a ticket if you plan to dress the child in Fall/Winter clothes during the antipodean Spring/Summer season."
posted by Hugh Janus 04 August | 12:14
Drums and whistles make good baby gifts, too, as do things that go BEEEP SQUEEEE GNACKITY GNACKITY WHOOOP really loudly. Also, this thing used to be referred to in my household as the Hangover Intensifying Toy. Just, you know, sayin'.
posted by mygothlaundry 04 August | 12:16
Send them a nice note informing them that you have donated a tidy sum in their child's name to Marie Stopes International (MSI).
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson 04 August | 12:19

We also bought a bath thermometer, a "transition" bottle/sippy-cup (for when the baby is learning to drink from a glass or cup) and a little stuffed panda bear. I think she just doesn't want the money for the clothes to be wasted, but it's kind of a major thing for us to go back and deal with it. If I can't find the receipt, though, the issue is moot. I'm going to give it a good faith effort, but I won't knock myself out over it; babies sometime wear t-shirts even in fall or winter, right?

Maybe not. ugh; I'll give her the receipt if I can find it; otherwise, I'll have to go back and try to exchange, even if I can't find the receipt (and good luck with that!) - but I don't see it happening until we get back from out of town. Next time, Not Clothes. I've learned something important(ish) about gifting(ish).
posted by taz 04 August | 12:31
MGL is so right ... this is Rudeness. I have NEVER HEARD OF ANYONE making the gift-giver exchange a present. You must have felt so bad when she opened your box and said something like, "Oh dear this won't do at all.".

You must like this person an awful lot. You sure sound like a great friend. Look ... set the clothes you bought aside and donate them or give them to someone who can use them. Don't worry about replacing them. I'd sure like to know, though, if your friend has the nerve to ask where the Fall clothes you "owe" her are. Then buy the nice gift you were planning to anyway and enjoy the baby. Maybe you can chalk up your friend's behavior to adoption hormones or something.

I do like the big furry dog idea, though.
posted by Kangaroo 04 August | 12:52
"Oh no, you misunderstand, those clothes were for your next, smaller baby. And the pacifier? That wasn't for the kid, it was for your whiny asses."
posted by Hellbient 04 August | 13:29
Gah. Yep, fuck it. You're getting them a big present, so they can suck it up on the clothes, IMHO, especially since they were kinda rude about it. There are some excellent gift suggestions in this thread, f'rinstance.
posted by elizard 04 August | 14:31
That's some serious crap. Seriously.
posted by sperose 04 August | 14:32
Yeah, you don't make the thoughtful, kind, gift-giver go replace your gift, you suck it up if it doesn't fit or whatever, thank the person and do with it what you will. Damn.
posted by gaspode 04 August | 14:36
That is one nervy friend. I can't believe she wants you to exchange them. Crazy.
posted by LoriFLA 04 August | 15:21
You're fucking kidding. If gifts need to be exchanged, that gets done by the giftee. Anyway, yeah, babies wear all sorts of clothes all the time - t-shirts under jumpers etc (just like real people - how about that!).

Buy the kid either a drum set or an electric guitar for his/her 5th birthday. Whichever way you go, buy the other for their 6th. Revenge is a dish best served cold.
posted by dg 04 August | 15:57
You didn't have to buy a marker gift, ya silly. You should have just bought some pastry over.

Yea, I'm confused how her not being able to produce the name of something "expensive" she wanted you to buy for her at will (I would have a tough time doing so) translates to her wanting you to buy her something else for the visit. There must be details here that are left out.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero 04 August | 16:24
What everyone else said. For real.
posted by Specklet 04 August | 17:28
Maybe this is a European thing. I don't think I'd be that bothered being given a gift back and having to swap it.

Weird. I've never really considered the ethics of returning gifts. I need to do some research.
posted by seanyboy 05 August | 00:50
We felt like we needed to bring a gift in hand for the baby, TPS; she didn't tell us to bring a gift. It was our first time seeing the new baby, along with some other friends, so of course everyone was bringing gifts... and it was more one of those slightly odd situations where you don't want to walk in empty-handed and be telling people, "oh, hey - we're not really cheap; we're buying her something later!"

This feeling, of course, was mostly on my end, as you can imagine that my husband wouldn't have been embarrassed. So this is probably more a "me" thing than anything else. Also a "me" thing is that I have some kind of actual anxiety about shopping, which is worse here in Athens. So, really, it's all about me. :)

But I found the receipt, thank goodness! We have to go buy our train tickets today, so I hope we can meet her somewhere in that area which is sort of between her place and ours, and give her the receipt and she can do the exchange, because I don't think I'd necessarily do better the second time on getting the size right.

But let me tell you an interesting thing about Greece (speaking of pastries): When people go to visit someone at their house, they always bring something that is either flowers/pastries, sweets or ice cream/wine or liquor. Also shops and businesses are closed on Sunday. This is sort of a church-related thing (so everyone can go to church!), but in reality, it's more of a pro-labour force thing... like no matter what a slave driver your boss is, at least you will always have Sunday off to be with your family.

So, aside from the kiosks, it's illegal for stores to open on Sunday (except in some tourist areas), but there are always two sorts of stores that are open legally: florists and patisseries (that also sell wine and liquor). Why? Because people go to visit friends on Sunday when they are off, and they need to buy flowers and sweets and wine!
posted by taz 05 August | 01:04
"at least you will always have Sunday off to be with your family... So, aside from the kiosks, it's illegal for stores to open on Sunday..."

Canada used to be like that. I miss that.
posted by arse_hat 05 August | 01:11
So, the only people allowed to work in florists or patisseries are orphans with no friends?
posted by dg 05 August | 02:47
posted by taz 05 August | 06:10