Bad stuff, good stuff. →[More:]

Bad stuff: I applied for a job that suited my skills and experience completely, as a lawyer advising on retail banking (credit cards, mortgages, current (checking) accounts, etc.). But the bank has decided that it wants someone with a corporate banking background. WTF?

This is the second knock-back I've had in the last few days, and I'm feeling upset, depressed and not good enough. I keep trying to tell myself that it's their loss but it's hard.

My home is a tip - I only notice this when I see other people's houses. I am aware that this is a symptom of low-level depression. I always feel better when the place is clean.

My weight is up and down like a yo-yo, sometimes by 6lbs over a day or two. Will there ever be a time when I don't have 'food issues'?

I've been feeding a neighbour's cats and one of them is terrified of me, to the point where I don't know if it's in the cat's best interests for me to take care of him when his owner's away. I've done nothing to make him be so scared and the other cat loves me. As soon as I opened the door on Friday morning he was out through the tiniest gap, and he refused to come in, even though he could see how much fuss the other cat was getting. I had to leave food out for him one night, but the next day I didn't, thinking he'd come in if he was hungry, but he wouldn't, he just cowered under the hedge, even though I left front and back doors open and sat immobile in the living room in the dark for nearly an hour. In the end, last night I talked to the other neighbour who feeds them about how upset I was about this. She's been taking it in turns to feed them and she phoned me later to say she'd been over, called him and he came straight to her.

Good stuff: As soon as I've posted this I'm going to clean the kitchen, tidy the bedrooms and living room and vacuum. Laundry is doing as we speak.

It's been a beautiful day today, and it looks as if we will have a good week, about 70F.

At last the work to repair my home is being done by the insurers. The drains were done last week, and the major part of the work is starting in August.

It's 'Britain's Next Top Model' tonight, down to the final 4. The bitchiness and backbiting of those girls has been worse than ever this year, but compelling viewing. Yes, I know, this is pathetic.

It's only three weeks until my next trip to the States and I can't wait. But, oh, how I wish I had those strong arms round me tonight.