Radio-synchronized compass watch that isn't huge and grotesque.

I have two watches which I like, each of which cost about £20.

One is synchronized to radio signals so it's always perfectly accurate, and adjusts itself for summer time.

One has an unobstrusive built-in digital compass, which is handy when you have no sense of direction and are somewhere you've never been.

I would like a watch that isn't some enormous heavy dial-bestrewn monstrosity; and always tells me the right time and which way is North.

(Actually I've never seen even a huge one that has both a compass and is remote-controlled, but one probably exists. And the clip-onto-watchband compasses would reveal to the world my contemptable lack of any sense of direction.)

A ring binder with a variable number of rings, so my American 3-hole punched stuff and rest-of-the-world two-hole-punched stuff could live together.

I want the powder they put on Doritos in a can.

A localized EMP generator, so I can kill the engines of people driving while talking on their cellphones. (I just realized that it would also kill their phones. Bonus!)

Also: a disintegrator ray, for those driving older cars.

Theo, I've got this watch, but only because I got an insane deal on it and I tend to keep watches for decades. The only thing it doesn't do that I wanted is tides.

There might be a model on that site that's only compass and atomic time.

I want the powder they put on Doritos in a can.

I would probably put that on everything I cooked. Ranch or nacho cheese on veggies, one of the spicier flavors on meat... mmm.

For me, it's a microwave that only uses seconds. If I input 3-0-0, that's five minutes, not three.

Yes! One of the oddball questions I tend to ask people is "If you have to microwave something for a minute and a half, do you input '1:30' or ':90' into the microwave?" I'm almost always disappointed how small of a minority I'm in with the :90 crowd.

A localized EMP generator, so I can kill the engines of people driving while talking on their cellphones. (I just realized that it would also kill their phones. Bonus!)

I've wanted one of these for awhile, but my reason was thumpa-thumpa bass in cars that used to cruise around my old apartment. I think I'd mount it on the handlebars of my motorcycle, and maybe my bicycle. I've wanted to put a cell-phone jammer on my bikes for ages, but I'd worry about people swerving erratically when their call gets disconnected. Your idea resolves that by making them coast to a stop in relatively short order!

mdonley, you want circa.

I don't know what I want. Either I'm entirely satisfied or I have no imagination.

A Hans Bethe lunchbox.

I want something that immediately makes stuff cold - like a microwave but in reverse. Instant ice cubes. Chilled soup now. And, while I'm at it, I want a small, simple machine that sucks heat out of the air in summer and stores it until winter and does the same thing in reverse. I want to be able to just turn it on and get immediate 55 degree air from last January in my bedroom right now and then next January, I can have early June heat wave whenever I feel like it.

In no particular order:

1. A Dr. Doolittle machine. I'd go hang with the dolphins for hours, or keep the cat happy at home with folk stories of feline daring.

2. Synaethesizer - a synaesthesia-producing machine so I could enjoy raindrops in different colors, or turn obnoxious co-worker noise into a violin sonata. Also known as the 10-minute LSD Trip Maker.

3. Atomic Universal Healing mechanism - I wish I could recycle the atoms from any object around me to heal myself.

On preview - we all would like these things. Sorry.

Thanks Eideteker!

but I'm not sure just how much my girlfriend would kill me.

That is a beautiful turn of phrase.

I want a Jetsons-type bathing-and-breakfast device that would pluck me from bed, bathe, dress, and feed me, and deposit me next to my car with a fresh cup f coffee at the push of a button.