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26 May 2008

Her name is Khadija:) [More:]She's 22 years old. She has a son named Ali, who is 1 and a half right now. He's cute as a button, has long curly hair upto his shoulders, and gets two dimples whenever he smiles. He loves Dinosaurs, and couldn't stop imitating one when we were online. I've seen them both on the webcam and it was love at first sight with Ali. Khadija seemed a little different from the picture she posted on the Marriage site, but she looked even more beautiful in her morning face:)

She works as a Nurse's Assistant at a retirement home (has been working there for the past five years) and loves her job. She plans to complete her graduation and then move into Teaching/Social Work. She's living with her friends right now in Chicago (she's a native of Illinois) and has basically grown up there after her parents moved from the Philippines to the US when she was 10.

She was born Christian (her father is a devout Catholic) and was very much a part of her church. She took part in the choir, Sunday School, and also did work with the Evangelists. She had never seen a muslim until she migrated to the States, and until then--all she knew about the religion was that it was some "barbaric cult" (in her own words.

When she arrived there, and saw the men with the beards, and the women all covered up--she wanted to save them--the women (in her words again). She then got introduced to her cousin's fiance, who happened to be a muslim, and they both would have debates about Islam. She would try and convince him of how evil and wrong it is.

But, the more she tried, the more she realized that maybe it wasn't he who was wrong. That's when things started to change--she started questioning her faith, and wondered if Satan was trying to test her... After going through this ordeal for eight years, one day--she decided to visit the Islamic centre and see for herself what they had to offer. She had already done a lot of research on the religion and so had a lot of questions that she wanted to ask...

They told her that she could come with them to the mosque if she liked, and she accepted... she says the minute she stepped inside it felt as if she had come home--as if god was calling her--and that this was her place.

She then said the Shahadah (a year ago) and formally became a muslim. She wears a hijab, and recently just purchased an Abaya. I have never met anyone like her... anyone as pious, and strong, and as dedicated to her faith as she is. I love her, and told her so, numerous times, but she said we shouldn't talk of such things yet.

I told her I'd already informed my mother about her the first day I'd read her profile, and according to Islamic tenets--I had asked my mother to give her mother a call and ask for her hand in marriage--since the boy can't proposition the girl face to face.

Of course, she being the voice of reason--made me see how unrealistic it would be right now for us to jump into such a thing--so we've decided to wait. I wanted to get married to her within a year, tops, but we've decided to give it three years, with Allah's blessing.

If I work hard (I've already finished my joining formalities at my new work place--which was on Saturday, and had gone to the Lab for my Physical work and blood test--so that's out of the way too), and save my money, I think I should be able to afford a trip to Chicago within the next year or two, Inshallah!

She's got me saying all of these Islamic terms now because I don't want to be any less of a muslim in her eyes. I've always prayed as much as I could, but now I've become determined to be a much better muslim. I still haven't figured out if it's right to be doing that for the woman you love, instead of God himself, but I hope I can do justice to them both, Inshallah.

Just wanted to give you guys a heads up on what's going on in my life, and to ask you for forgiveness if I haven't been on here in awhile--I'm just trying to balance so many things at the same time--it's a bit of a juggling act right now. One which I will hopefully remedy soon.:)

My love to you all as always, please pray for me/send me good wishes, that all of my prayers and hopes and dreams are answered, as are yours...

Thank you.
AWESOME!

Stay balanced!

When I was coming over to the UK my other half had to go and get himself a stable job and keep it and get us a place etc.. and nopthing is more romantic than someone making a nice stable situation for you.

What's your mom think in re. Ali?
posted by By the Grace of God 26 May | 12:24
That's great news, hadjiboy. Stay calm, go slow--it sounds like that's how she wants it, and you don't want to scare her off. How wonderful for you.
posted by elizard 26 May | 12:36
Wow, hadjiboy! I'm glad that you sound happy. Slow and steady wins the race. Much love to you.
posted by Stewriffic 26 May | 13:02
Good for you, hadjiboy. I think taking it slow is a smart move. I'm sure she's being cautious as it's not just her involved - she has to look out for her son's best interests as well. It's so nice to hear you so happy!!
posted by redvixen 26 May | 14:46
Some years ago, when I met a fellow with whom I was very much in love, I woke one morning feeling that I really could get myself healthier and better employed and so on, just because he inspired me so.

I think that that love, which was so clear, so inspired by The Spirit, compelled me to a better me not because of him but because the love between us was inspired by God. It was God - so to speak. Know what I mean?

So I think your inspiration to be a better Muslim, a better man, for her, is also divine inspiration because that love is compelling you to reach for a closer relationship with the All Mighty. And, someday, you'll walk together in that love, holding His hands, between you.

I'm so happy for you, Hadjiboy.
posted by MonkeyButter 26 May | 14:48
Stay calm, go slow

*considers the source, ROFLcopters*

No, srsly. That's great news, hadjiboy. I'm happy for you!
posted by BitterOldPunk 26 May | 15:13
Hey, BOP? :P"
posted by elizard 26 May | 16:18
I'm so glad your absence has been due to something so wonderful!

As the story says - slow and steady wins the race. It can be frustrating, tearful and insane-making, but if it's meant to be it's worth the time it takes to make it right.
posted by deborah 26 May | 16:22
This is insanity. You can't love someone from the other side of the world. It will never work out.

We told all these things our friend, Rob, who fell in love with a girl from the Philippines. After waiting nearly 5 years to get all the immigration paperwork complete, she finally came to the U.S. and they married. Their little boy turned one this month. So when people tell you what we told Rob, know that the love of two hearts can overcome any obstacle. The best of luck to you, hadj.
posted by Doohickie 26 May | 16:30
Thanks for understanding guys--it really means a lot to me:)

(Gracie, my mom was a bit skeptical at first, but I've managed to bring her around; she was afraid that Ali would have a hard time adjusting--but with my knack for kids--I'm sure it's not going to be too difficult, Inshallah!)
posted by hadjiboy 26 May | 20:41
If I remember correctly, your sister and her husband live in the Chicago area. I think that it would be prudent to have them check her out in real life ASAP.
posted by brujita 27 May | 00:54
Hope you get to meet her and her family in person before too long - it's going to be quite an adventure for you! Congrats on being in such a good frame of mind, and on finding someone who sounds so wonderful.
posted by mightshould 27 May | 07:08
Hi, brujita! They actually live in Baltimore, although I do have a cousin sister that I'm very close to that lives in Chicago. I was kind of hesitant for anyone to go and meet her in case it seemed like I was snooping around, but I've sent her something along with my aunt who's going over there next week to visit her daughter (my cousin sister) and hopefully she'll be able to deliver it to Khadija then, and meet her in person as well.

Hey mightshould!!!
posted by hadjiboy 27 May | 20:06
Your latest personal examplet that the internet is cool -- go! || The drunk tank isn't so bad.

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