MetaChat - Please don't tell me this is airbrushed.

There isn't a magazine cover that isn't airbrushed.

posted by essexjan 07 May | 08:37

Pores are a no-no on magazine covers.

posted by BoringPostcards 07 May | 08:39

So, yeah, what ej said. :)

posted by BoringPostcards 07 May | 08:39

*cry*

I have this weird and irrational thought process. When I see someone that is older than myself (even by one year) and is beautiful, I think there is hope for me. That somehow I can look as beautiful. This is absurd. Paulina Porzikova, Helen Miren, Isabella Rosselinni are older than me. Plenty of women are older and more gorgeous, but this is my crazy thinking.

I can look at Cameron Diaz and think. "OK. Cameron is almost my exact age. There is no reason you can't look half as good as Cameron. Start working on it!" :-)

I know. It's a shame that I'm thinking that age defines beauty, and I'm not considering genetic make-up, and I'm focusing on appearance rather than accomplishment or integrity.

posted by LoriFLA 07 May | 09:03

Well, they didn't airbrush TOO much - she does look very beautiful, and they left the smile creases next to her mouth (it just looks creepy when those are brushed out). But you can tell from comparing to this picture that they brushed out the laugh lines around her eyes and a bit from her chin.

posted by muddgirl 07 May | 09:04

muddgirl, that image of Hunt is even more beautiful. What year was that taken? ;-)

posted by LoriFLA 07 May | 09:10

LoriFLA, I suggest finding a local professional photographer - not in the mall! Someone who does portraits. Meet with them, tell them you want your portrait done and why, book an appointment. They'll take a bunch, and some of them will be REALLY GOOD. You can see for yourself what lighting and focus and retouching can do, and you'll have something to save and treasure and look back on when you're really old, ha ha ha. . .

Think about it.

Wait. That makes me, like, a year older than Helen Hunt? *cries irrationally, off to check age of HH*

posted by rainbaby 07 May | 09:13

Her last Golden Globe was 1997 for "As Good As It Gets"

posted by essexjan 07 May | 09:16

No, no, she was born in 63. She's much more than a year older than you. Or I.

Wait, this isn't constructive, is it? Sorry. I feel better, though.

posted by rainbaby 07 May | 09:16

Looks an awful lot like what they did to Faith Hill (be sure you see the before/after at the bottom).

posted by cillit bang 07 May | 09:16

It's a shame that I'm thinking that age defines beauty

I think it's more a shame thinking beauty defines anything.

posted by SassHat 07 May | 09:19

They're all normal-looking women behind the makeup, hair and airbrush, LoriFla. Look.

posted by essexjan 07 May | 09:21

I'm the one Helen Hunt is a year older than.

posted by JanetLand 07 May | 09:21

Yes. 1963. Nine years older!

You can see for yourself what lighting and focus and retouching can do, and you'll have something to save and treasure and look back on when you're really old, ha ha ha. . .
This is a great idea. When I look at photos of me as a teen and twenty-something I think to myself how pretty I was. I feel sad for my younger self that was constantly insecure about her appearance.

The older I get the more panicky I become about becoming old and unattractive. Not too panicky, but just a tad anxious. The years are passing by so quickly. Soon I will be old and nobody will look at me as a sexual creature.

cillit bang, I remember that Faith Hill retouch story. I was hopeful that HH wasn't as drastically retouched.

posted by LoriFLA 07 May | 09:22

Essexjan, thanks. They even had my Cameron in there.

posted by LoriFLA 07 May | 09:25

Soon I will be old and nobody will look at me as a sexual creature.

Helen Hunt is exactly the same age as me. Thanks, Lori, I needed that.

posted by mygothlaundry 07 May | 09:26

You are welcome, MGL. You are a very sexual creature.

Soon I will be old and nobody will look at me as a sexual creature.

Not that I need to be viewed as desirable by anybody other than my husband, but I still have this thought. I think a lot of women, and men, do.

posted by LoriFLA 07 May | 09:28

Sorry about the age of HH stuff. I just had an out of body experience due to low caffiene. How was she on Witch Mountain and I saw her if I was older than her. . .anyway. Yeah she's beautiful, she's not old. Sorry, everybody, sorry. Total derail.

I feel sad for my younger self that was constantly insecure about her appearance.

The only way to fix this at all is to become confident about your appearance now! You're in your prime! In thirty years you'll look back at pictures of yourself now and thing how pretty you were and feel sad for this now younger self.

I too, uh, wish I knew what I had when I had it, but confidence is vurry sexah, too.

And yeah, we're all sexual creatures with other sexual creatures to match up bits with until infimity or our own minds get us. So get over that too.

posted by rainbaby 07 May | 09:33

Or, was MGL being sarcastic? I hope I'm didn't take that wrong.

posted by LoriFLA 07 May | 09:33

I'm didn't

...I didn't

So get over that too

Yeah. I really need to.

posted by LoriFLA 07 May | 09:35

Yes, she took it wrong. MGL, I'm hoping LoriFLA meant "Soon" I will be old to mean not right around the corner and more like decades around the corner. She's saying how all these women older than her are beautiful, after all. I know I didn't help matters myself and I'm sorry.

posted by rainbaby 07 May | 09:36

Absolutely airbrushed. Like essexjan said, they all do it, and what's worse is the way they lie to us about it. America Ferrera was on the cover of some magazine, Lucky or Seventeen or something, and they very clearly photoshopped her waist. And someone wrote in to say as much, and the response in the Letters section was something like, oh noooooo we would neeeeever do that. Liars.

Sometimes I worry about getting old and losing my looks, and then I look around at people, real people, people I see at church or on the street, and think, hey, look at all these people aging gracefully. They look damn good, they haven't "lost" anything. I was looking at pictures in the New York Social Diary on Monday (a distant relative is a socialite/philanthropist), and some of the faces!! Tight faces, eyeballs bulged out, robot smiles. Technically "young" looking, but scary as hell. I'd rather have wrinkles.

posted by ThePinkSuperhero 07 May | 09:42

I apologize MGL. I'm very sorry. I thought MGL noticed that HH was born in the same year and that was a positive. I'm dense. I'll stop now.

posted by LoriFLA 07 May | 09:52

My wife is 60. She still has the same thoughts as expressed in this thread.

She's a great 60. Attractive, vital, strong, sexy.

I want to slap her when she starts comparing herself to women the media.

posted by danf 07 May | 09:54

When I look at photos of me as a teen and twenty-something I think to myself how pretty I was. I feel sad for my younger self that was constantly insecure about her appearance.

OMG yes. Except I am in my twenties, and when I see pictures of how SKINNY I was in high school! and how my skin was so CLEAR! and my hair was so shiny and chic, and yet I walked around for 4 years all bundled up and hiding in baggy clothes and a pony tail.

I'm working on my insecurity issues, and it's getting a lot better. I don't want to look at pictures of myself now and think, "Man, I looked so great then - why was I so down on myself?"

and think, hey, look at all these people aging gracefully. They look damn good, they haven't "lost" anything.

I saw my mother and my paternal grandmother this weekend, and I thought the same thing - they look "old", but really, they look like they've lived long lives full of happiness and tragedy. They look alive.

posted by muddgirl 07 May | 10:14

Here's a more recent Helen Hunt picture. She still looks great.

posted by muddgirl 07 May | 10:17

I am younger than a number of beautiful sexy women who are beautiful and sexy, whether well-lit, airbrushed or not. I know that intellectually. I don't know who knows it viscerally.

Last year, I read an interview with Julie Christie, a beautiful, sexy woman, well older than I. She said this:
"All women are aware of that moment when suddenly the boys don’t look at you,” she noted. “It’s a fairly common thing, when suddenly you no longer attract that instant male attention because of the way you look. I never really knew how to enjoy beauty, but it took the form of a subconscious arrogance, expecting things, all muddled up with celebrity.”

No, I was never Julie Christie, but I had my moment in the sun. I was pretty enough to get rushed into a sorority, skinny enough to be asked to be in amateur fashion shows, sexy enough to have dates and flings and boyfriends. It's a moment in the sun I remember fleetingly: on days I'm dressed well, or on days my hair is shining, or when I just woke up confident.

However, that moment that Julie Christie refers to, of boys no longer looking, it's crystalline. That moment is ever-present in my head.

I have, in a diary from some trip to DC in the last decade, a note about realizing that young men no longer look at me in airports. I still remember stopping, putting down my bag, and looking around disoriented.

This is not entirely true, there's always, like last night when I was waiting for a bus, a periodic glance. Still, I am aware that I am gradually becoming invisible. Even more so because I am not married, either, without children. Because I'm just a middle-aged single woman alone in a city. The creeping disappearance, however, eventually stops hurting. I feel silly dressed in some of my younger clothes that I just can't get rid of, but becoming invisible really does mean not giving a toss about what the nameless You thinks of my value. You don't see me; I don't have to care. I know who I am. Maybe not Julie Christy, but then again, who is?

posted by crush-onastick 07 May | 10:29

I think I look far better at 48 than I did at 28, but that's probably because I don't drink any more. Nor do I smoke (I've never even tried a cigarette) or sunbathe (too fair-skinned).

I'm conscious of the years creeping up on me, but I look at the Botoxed women in my local high street and am so glad that I have little crinkles at the corners of my eyes and laugh lines around my mouth when I laugh.

Compare these two women, both about the same age First, Jackie Stallone. Now look at Honor Blackman.

There's no comparison in terms of who I think is the more beautiful.

posted by essexjan 07 May | 10:36

I always felt invisible, crush-onastick. Growing up with a very pretty sister, I was always a Plain Jane, not pretty at all, not even interesting enough to be jolie-laide, with thick glasses from the age of 9 or so, fat, sister's clothes altered to fit me (and so of course they didn't fit), no idea about grooming or, hell, even personal hygiene (until after I left home). I went to an all-girls school, and so didn't even know any boys.

If anybody ever showed me any attention, I'd either get drunk or run away from the situation.

It was only after I split up from my husband in 2001 that I actually began to start liking myself, and to learn about 'being a girl' - makeup, clothes, hair. I'm still a novice in those things - I've worn jeans and t-shirts for the best part of 30 years, and find it nigh on impossible to wear anything else. But I'll never forget the first time I went to the hairdresser who has now become my regular hair guy. Because my glasses get in the way, I took them off, so it was like the Big Reveal in Extreme Makeover when I put them back on again. I cried. I really cried.

posted by essexjan 07 May | 10:54

Wow, crush-onastick the last paragraph is amazingly spot-on for me. Except for the fact that I was never pretty, I'm also a lone invisible person who wonders at the seeming poor match of my present self and my younger clothes (stealing that terminology...)
*goes off to google who in the heck is Julie Christy*

posted by mightshould 07 May | 10:55

crosh-onastick - I totally get you, and I think it's a little sad that lots of us are scared of that point when strange men stop viewing us as sexual objects.

posted by muddgirl 07 May | 11:01

That's a powerful comment crush-onastick, thanks.

My mum is 56 and has great skin, she looks 40, but she never smoked so while I have hope for similarly great skin it's probably not gonna happen. I love being around real older woman who have lived, and have stories to tell and their faces tell a story in themselves. Airbrushed crap is annoying - all these women are beautiful enough to leave it well alone!

ej - I love going to the hairdresser because it's 3-4 hours I spend without my glasses, being led around and told what to do. It's probably the only time I relinquish all control to someone else, which is why I love it but it doesn't happen very often! And Jackie Stallone v Honor Blackman? No contest.

posted by goo 07 May | 11:26

when strange men stop viewing us as sexual objects.

strange men view everything as a sexual object. trust me.

posted by quonsar 07 May | 11:31

crushonastick, as I entered my thirties, I could easily have written your post (though hardly with such sensitivity and eloquence). As you say, I too was never Julie Christie, but I was tall and curvy with long auburn hair, and I got The Looks so often that I didn't really notice them until they stopped. A friend and I used to joke that we had discovered a new stage of life: invisible to teenaged boys.

But.

Something odd happened a few years ago. Though I look older than ever, I, um, stopped being invisible to young men. It doesn't affect my life, but I like how strongly it suggests that age is a lot less relevant to sexiness than is generally believed.

And I'm glad to have had a long gap of inattention from the general population, which let me stop giving the slightest damn whether They are looking.

A couple of years ago, young students started asking me out. Out, like, out: on coffee dates, on study dates, on proper movie-and-dinner dates. I never took one up on it, and I find it pretty confusing. I mentioned it to my brother, asking "What the hell are those boys thinking?"

My brother looked me up and down and, as if noticing it for the first time ever, said "They're thinking you're a fox." Later, unrelatedly, he noted how I lit up when I talked about my coursework.

And I realized: aha. The guys at school invariably come from the classes where I really shine. They see someone in her element, doing what she does best and confident in it, someone who, at this moment, isn't worried about the superficial stuff. And they see how attractive that is.

If I'm right, that's pretty cool.

posted by Elsa 07 May | 11:50

I walk down the street and guys are yelling, "ooooeeeee - that's some nice character on you!" and "hey baby, can I read your book?!" and I'm like, "In your dreams."

posted by taz 07 May | 12:15

Sorry I snapped at you Lori. I am a little sensitive right now about comments regarding age and sexuality and unattractiveness, but that doesn't excuse being rude.

posted by mygothlaundry 07 May | 12:19

"Check out the vocabulary on that one!"

But I don't think they were responding to my smarts, exactly, taz, or my character --- I think they were responding to my intensity, to my passion. Passion is sexy.

MGL, your passion and wit and sexiness radiate right through the page I'm reading now. In real life, I bet they're unstoppable.

posted by Elsa 07 May | 12:23

hee! I wasn't teasing you, love; I had that joke all ready to go, but then my greens were burning on the stove.

posted by taz 07 May | 12:27

It's a relief. I spent the first thirty-odd years of my life as public property, freely commented on or at. It was stressful, for me. It does make me angry, still - any young woman who has the goods to confront the world head on and not hide, or use elaborate defenses, good for her. Now, any random compliment, I can take, because it's not given in a I Wanna Get With You manner. Like the young dude carding me and saying "huh. nice." Thanks, man. Or "hey there lil' mama, go on home to your sweet babies, they miss you" Yes someone said this to me, and didn't seem to be ill intentioned. So what I have a Mom Bod and don't have spawn? And old dudes look. And young guys look and say things like - "Look at those old desperate housewives." Which sent us into gales and gales of laughter. In the time before, when it felt predatory, there was never any laughter. Never.

Hey taz, can I read your book?

posted by rainbaby 07 May | 12:30

You naughty thing. But if you're not busy later, maybe we could go to the adult book store, and shop for bookmarks?

posted by taz 07 May | 12:35

Helen Hunt is one year *younger* than me and I will never be as pretty a woman as she is.

posted by mmahaffie 07 May | 12:38

At least.... not without a *lot* of surgery.

posted by mmahaffie 07 May | 12:38

I'd love to, taz. Because now I can go to The Emporium of Smut and not give a flip what people think, or be afraid of The Bad Man doing bad things in my general direction. Yay.

posted by rainbaby 07 May | 12:42

Elsa -- I think you have it. I really do. Yes, men tend to look at those women who mirror dominant culture, but I think it's the same way they look at sports cars -- this is what they've been taught is a symbol of status. (And status is sexy for men -- alpha male has been associated with high testosterone for so long that of course status is sexy. So of course women who confer high status on men are sexy.)

But men, as far as I can tell, sometimes also get attracted to women who are NOT dominant-culture pretty. I have never been what dominant culture terms attractive -- I have always been plump, I have always been clumsy, and my hair does not grow long. But I have been the object of several male (and some female) student crushes. It's pretty obvious when it happens, even though you don't get asked out on coffee dates when you're the teacher (for obvious reasons).It has to do with letting one's inner self shine through. There's something attractive about that. My husband has come to amusedly accept a certain number of young, puppyish men in my life who bounce up and babble at me because they've had me in class or seen me at the university.

I also, at my heaviest weight and at age 32 (as a freshly minted professor) had two younger men in a local rock band displaying somewhat crushy behavior toward me, even though we didn't do anything about it (they had girlfriends). They helped me through my divorce, and -- well, it was a wonderful experience.

I think the less we buy the hype on how we're supposed to be invisible when we age, the less invisible we'll be.

posted by lleachie 07 May | 12:49

I think you're talking about two different things, lleachie. In the first case, men are looking and women as possessions, as something they want to own. Or, in some cases, I think some men feel threatened by a beautiful, confident woman, and there's a sense that this type of man wants to dominate or degrade beautiful women (which is where a lot of negative attention of the "hey baby" type comes from). That sort of attention is the kind I really, really seek to avoid from men, although thankfully I'm a bit to plain and mannish to receive it often.

The other type is certainly attraction, but it's attraction caused by admiration of general character. They crush on you because they want to be with you, or be like you. I crush on people like this all the time, and there's not really a sexual component to it. I want to be around them because I want to soak them up into my skin. I get tongue tied or I babble because I want them to like me, too. This sort of admiration doesn't lead to feeling like an object, or getting whistled at, or assaulted (well, most of the time).

posted by muddgirl 07 May | 13:55

Lori, I'm going through the same thing myself. I'm freaked out about getting older. I have this totally irrational fear that once the odometer clicks over a certain number, I'm instantly out of the game. No longer attractive or desirable. It doesn't help that having young children makes you so very conscious of how fast time goes by.

And just like you, I'm constantly checking the ages of celebs to confirm that it is possible to still be attractive. Madonna's 50! Tina Turner is 70!

But I try to remind myself that if I live long enough to be truly "old," I will be so angry at myself for not appreciating just how good I look, but how well my body functions right now. I can run with the kids. I can hear and see just fine. I am strong. These are the most important things.

When I look at photos of me as a teen and twenty-something I think to myself how pretty I was. I feel sad for my younger self that was constantly insecure about her appearance.
I recently went to a little reunion of my college friends. We were driving through campus and a bunch of girls were laying out in their bikinis. "If I had known how good I looked back then, I would have been constantly naked," I said. Everybody burst out laughing. "Um, honey," said my friend Jim. "You WERE!"

Then they reminded me that I will make a great Cougar. And I will. RRRRRRAAAAWRRR!!!!!!

posted by jrossi4r 07 May | 14:22

how well my body functions right now.

Hell yes. Maybe it's the aftereffect of caring for chronically ill family members, but I do often marvel that my body does what I ask of it, more or less.

The past year or so, an injury has prevented me from doing some things I love, but I can usually quell that whiny voice by reminding myself: I can still stand and bend over and cook and walk and play with the nieces and nephews (gingerly) and and and. Someday, I won't be able to. Now I can.

Muddgirl, I can only speak from my own experience, but for me, those character-driven crushes are the most intensely sexual ones. I'm not disagreeing, exactly, just saying it's different for different people.

And let me tell ya, those boys on campus who came sniffin' round me... they may have been initially attracted by my passion for archaeology or history or whatever, but that's not what they wanted, y'know? There was clearly a sexual component to their interest, though it was spurred by something else.

posted by Elsa 07 May | 14:41

Have you seen Hunt's latest film? Whoa, is that photo heavily airbrushed, or she has on a ton of that wrinkle-filling make-up paste (I call it "sanding-sealer", which you'll get if you've done carpentry, heh), or both.

posted by shane 07 May | 15:16

Do you have polyfilla in the US, shane? That's what I've always called it - makeup so thick it's like polyfilla.

posted by goo 07 May | 15:27

Like I said, Elsa, I've never really experienced that level of blatant interest from a guy. In fact, I can think of only three guys who've ever made me think "wow, I've got something that men find attractive" - one was this guy I dated briefly in college (who was sweet, but mentally unstable), one was some dude who tried to pick me up in a bar (to his credit, I was wearing a really hot and cleav-tastic shirt), and the third is MuddDude. So yeah.

posted by muddgirl 07 May | 15:36

Well, unless you are 16, why would you want to attract the attention of boys? Wouldn't you prefer the attention of men? As men get older, they become more discerning, I think, and less driven by what the media tells them is beautiful (not all men, but in general). Speaking personally, I think that most "mature" women are far more beautiful and sexy than most younger women. The comments about character come into it I think - as we get older our faces reflect where our lives have been and the way we appear to other people changes. Sometimes we change for the worse, but mostly for the better. It's a shame that women feel they have to try and hide who they are by piling on make-up, because most women look more beautiful without it. It's even more of a shame that men outwardly encourage that, because (I like to think) that's not really what we want at all. Well, I don't.

Oh, and Helen Hunt is all kinds of hot. Age won't change that.

posted by dg 07 May | 15:54

why would you want to attract the attention of boys?

Men, boys, whoever. Really though, what if men that I do not know find me attractive on looks alone? What am I going to do with that? Feel good for a moment?

mgl, no problem at all. You weren't rude. I'm not too quick on the uptake. :-)

posted by LoriFLA 07 May | 16:04

I actually don't want sexual attention from anyone, boys or men or girls or women, except MuddDude. Admiration, intelligent conversation, and a desire to be my friend are what I want from people who aren't completely emotionally invested in me.

But I suppose we're discussing some generic Woman, here, and not me specifically.

posted by muddgirl 07 May | 16:06

We are constantly fed pics of celebs and it's almost impossible to not measure ourselves against that ideal. It's everywhere. Who wouldn't like to be a size 0 or 2 and have the nice clothes and pretty smile, etc. But for me, it's less about the pretty and more about the being noticed.

Off topic warning:

Maybe part of what I'd like to hear/know every now and then is that I'm noticeable, just for a moment. I never get any public feedback be it positive or negative. It’s like living in a vacuum – which is part of the feeling invisible thing. The single time in the last year that I’ve received any comment was when a saleslady complimented my shoes. Dang, that sounds whiny doesn’t it?

Thankfully, my role at work is invaluable, so I can feel good about my accomplishments, but still, geez; it would be nice if someone took a wee bit of notice of me. There’s nothing in life that I will accomplish that’ll last for more than a couple of years (at most) after I’m gone – so I’d like to be appreciated in the present-tense cause it will do not one bit of good for someone to say afterwards that they notice I’m not around….

That's why I try to pay attention to the other invisible people out there. You know, the older lady who's in the grocery store and all alone - I smile at her and say something about the weather or such. I try and get to know a little bit about people I see regularly. Things like that are part of what makes one day a little bit different from all the others when you're simply living an anonymous life.

posted by mightshould 07 May | 16:51

God essexjan, that Honor Blackman young/old combo you found shows what an utterly stunning woman she is. Hottie!

Listen, I've done makeup/skincream ads targeted to women for a long time. We airbrush the hell out of preteens that have no pores. Kay? Nobody really looks like that, but when you speak to a well-groomed exfoiliated cleanskinned just a dab of makeup and maybe some blush gal on the street in the stark bright sunlight of the real world, with all of her visable pores and teeny wrinkles, laugh lines and flakes and stray eyebrow hairs, youknow what? She is beautiful and in everyones eyes looks just like that pretty airbrushed thing on the cover of magazines. Because people don't compare you to magazine covers, they compare you to other people that they see. And lets face, how often do the guys in your office scrub their faces with otameal? Oh yeah, like never.

So youknow, it's totally cool to brush your hair and buff you skin and brush your teeth - just know that grooming is exactly where it's at. (and the best creams are made in your own kitchen please don't fall for the ads I make)

posted by dabitch 07 May | 17:43

also: youth really is wasted on the young. If I had had any clue about how pretty youth itself is, I would have realized that indeed pretty much everyone in the whole goddamned world is so gorgeous they're hawt at seventeen, included little ol' me hiding in giant sweaters and still laughing with my hand in front of my mouth all braces-concious. I had no idea. Dumbass.

And about growing "old" and "invisible " - what a pain we have, first we're pissed off for thirty odd years that every man we meet is simply trying to get into our knickers, then we abruptly switch to getting pissed off by the fact that they're not even trying.

posted by dabitch 07 May | 17:53

I'm not pissed, dabitch, because now they try harder and they mean it.

This discussion reinforces to me that it's one particualr cross to bear never to be noticed, and it's another to stop being noticed, and deal with that gracefully. Everybody carry together, okay?

posted by rainbaby 07 May | 18:00

"All women are aware of that moment when suddenly the boys don’t look at you,”

Yes, but the men appreciate you. ;-)

posted by Doohickie 07 May | 18:43

I think the less we buy the hype on how we're supposed to be invisible when we age, the less invisible we'll be.

Nah, I'm only 37 and I'm invisible to everybody except gay men for some reason.

posted by jonmc 07 May | 18:54

Goddamn, y'all. I had for the most part the opposite experience.

I was ugly. There's no getting around it. I was skinny, my hair was wild, and I had cystic acne from the time I was twelve until I took a course of Accutane at 19. Even then I had splotches on my face that didn't go away until I was 21. I still have the scars. Nothing short of massive dermabrasion will get rid of that.

All women are aware of that moment when suddenly the boys don’t look at you,”

I never had the boys looking at me except as a freak (save one). I still don't know if that was a blessing or a curse.

Yes, but the men appreciate you. ;-)

Now that's true at any age, and something I was very grateful for. I had (and have) older man friends that were really great for me and good to me.

But hey, on topic. I think it's damn criminal that anybody in or on a magazine gets airbrushed. I just saw the Faith Hill bit and I liked her better without the "costuming" done by the "'shop-lifter"*. I think just about everyone I've seen in those before and after shots looks just fine in the before, if not better than the after.

The only time before and after makes sense is for inspiration in getting to healthy from sick or debilitated. That's what got me through the side effects of the Accutane.

Ooooo! I wonder if I've coined a term!

posted by lysdexic 07 May | 21:03

In my late teens and early 20's I had this picture on my wall, as my ideal woman. So my first gf actually turns out to look like that, in a bit more earthy, hippie way. But pretty close. And it was a trainwreck for me. I am really lucky that she dumped me. (Last I heard, she was a close disciple of Elizabeth Claire Prophet and married another disciple that she hardly knew, pretty much in order to have children).

Since then, I have been, for good or ill, attracted by personality, intelligence, and how challenging someone is.

It hurts to hear the women in here talk like you are talking. You are all wonderful, smart (and smart is sexy), formidable women, beautiful in your unique way, and I wish y'all would see what I see in you. Regardless of what decade of life you are in.

posted by danf 07 May | 22:20

ah, that is a beautiful picture, danf.

In my late teens, and early 20s this was my ideal woman.

posted by LoriFLA 07 May | 22:29

The single time in the last year that I’ve received any comment was when a saleslady complimented my shoes.

Heh. I had a preview of the invisibility thing one afternoon when I was in my early 20s, and a (gay male) friend and I were walking in Boston's gay neighborhood. I started to feel seriously invisible, and for the first time I felt how vulnerable being on the street could be. I had always, until that point, assumed that if I had a problem, I could easily stop a passerby and get help; that day, I could have been on fire and it would have been hard to get anyone's attention. It was the first time I started to realize that my generally optimistic view of human nature may in fact be tied to my appearance.

My friend, however, noted with glee that suddenly he was getting all the attention, and so he started singing a little song to me:

No one is looking at YOU!
Everyone is looking at ME!
Except for THAT MAN THERE
Who just checked out YOUR SHOES!

posted by occhiblu 08 May | 00:25

I've been trying to find a picture of what the "ideal woman" was when I was in high school but I can't remember any except Tank Girl. But they were all like that, only fiercer. Fierce was In.

posted by small_ruminant 08 May | 11:28

And, actually, this was fairly accurate, too.

posted by small_ruminant 08 May | 11:32

07 May 2008