Another heart-wrenching moment in parenting. Long rambling inside. →[More:]
I'm outside, sitting on my back porch. My two kids and their friend are playing in the backyard. The friend doesn't know I'm outside because I had just sat down. I overhear the friend telling my eldest son, while my younger kid is sitting beside them on the swingset.

Friend: You know what my mom calls Adam? (Adam is my youngest son's name)

Eldest son: What?

Friend: A brat. My mom calls Adam a brat.

Eldest son: Why?

*end of conversation*

At that moment so many emotions and thoughts swirl in my chest.

One - Why would this mother say such a thing in front of her child? Is she saying this on a regular basis?

Two - I felt bad for Adam that he had to hear this.

Three - I wanted to call the mom and say, "You know what's bratty? Telling your child what you think of his five-year old neighbor."

Of course, I didn't do that. I just seethed and paced in our home office and vented my frustrations to my husband. This particular neighbor child is over our house
nearly everyday. He plays soccer with my kid. I talk to the mom on a regular basis.

Adam is a very energetic child, but very sweet and kind, never rude. A typical five-year old boy. I'm not just saying that because I am his mother. I don't think my kids are perfect. I never let them get away with anything. I never allow them to be rude or mean to their peers or elders. I can honestly say they are good, caring kids.

The neighbor mother has always had positive comments about Adam. He's so cute. He's such a movie star. He cracks me up, etc. But, I don't doubt that she said he was a brat behind closed doors. I have questioned some of her behaviors in the past. Once, while eating lunch in a fast-food joint, she and another mother admitted in front of me that the use the N word. I was disgusted and shocked and actually said, "You do? My god, that is ignorant." I questioned whether I should let my kids hang out with these racists. I probably should have stopped interaction with them right then and there, but I'm stupid and weak. It's not the kid's fault that his parents are morons.

This child and my older child, both seven-years-old, enjoy one another's company. They live right across the way. My husband and I don't socialize with the parents without our children, but we do see and chat with them at school, soccer, and other kid-related events. I chat with her when I walk my dog. I sit next to her at soccer games. I've gone to lunch with her several times so our kids can play and hang out.

My eldest son and her kid play well together. I have wondered about this friend in the past. He's kind of annoying. He's a big tattle tale, whiner, and a manipulator. He seems to want my son all to himself. When another neighbor kid was over last week, he whispered into my kid's ear and asked my kid to ask the other friend to go home. My son said, "No, I can't do that." I was very proud. My oldest son can be somewhat of a follower and sort of idolizes this particular friend. The friend kind of just tolerates Adam or asks him to things, like go into the house to retrieve drinks, toys, etc.

In a couple weeks I have a camping trip planned. They will be there. I planned on setting up my tents next to theirs. We've talked about it and planned it. I can't believe I have to camp next to this mother. I don't think I'll be able to hide my emotions.

My husband says: "What do you expect? They're idiots."

Isn't it awful? I'm getting more worked up that this woman called my son a brat than her using the N word.

What should I do? I feel pissed and upset. Should I be upset?