MetaChat - The curse of free chocolate

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27 March 2008

The curse of free chocolate Long, boring, narcissistic post.→[More:]
I've finally worked out what was bugging me.

Our company gave everyone a free Easter Egg. Mine had two small Cadbury's Creme Eggs, and one large egg made out of the cheapest milk chocolate around. I'm still working my way through that one.

Now because it's Free Chocolate, I can't possible not eat it.

But under normal circumstances, if I was going to eat 1,000 kcal worth of chocolate, I'd make sure it was good quality chocolate to maximize my pleasure per calorie.

So receiving this egg has put me in an unbearable dichotomy.

I hate wasting things, but I've got no choice here.

I can not eat the egg, and waste the Free Chocolate.

Or I can eat the egg, and waste my empty-calorie allowance on cheap and not terribly nice chocolate.

Oh, the humanity.

post by: TheophileEscargot at: 09:33 | 19 comments

Give it away.

posted by box 27 March | 09:36

I should have given it away when I got it, but everyone in the office had one of their own.

And now it's hard to give away a half-eaten easter egg.

posted by TheophileEscargot 27 March | 09:42

Half-eaten? Yeah, it might be too late.

posted by box 27 March | 09:45

I once went to an office party at which free drinks were liberally provided courtesy of my employers. Disinclined to pass the opportunity by, I indulged too freely, with regrettable consequences. Since then I have regarded freebies more suspiciously, and have not felt bad about saying ‘no thanks’ when I have no use or no taste for them. In your case the ‘free’ chocolate came with a terrible hidden price in the shape of the dilemma now afflicting you. With luck, you may yet find a colleague undiscriminating enough to happily take the remaining half an egg off your hands.

posted by misteraitch 27 March | 09:47

Go to two spin classes and finish off the egg.

Or, send it to me.

posted by bunnyfire 27 March | 11:19

mmm... creme egg.

posted by gaspode 27 March | 11:22

Free stuff isn't free
It costs folks like you and me
And if I don't go spin
I'll never remain thin
Free stuff isn't free
It comes with calories
And if I don't burn off what I scoff
Who will?

posted by TheophileEscargot 27 March | 11:36

Life is too short for bad chocolate, cheap beer, bad coffee, and I'm sure there's more. Throw it out. It will be a good experience.

Or, do what I would do. Put in the back of a drawer, for an 'emergency.' Getting 4 spams in a row will be an emergency, and you will eat it. You'll feel bad afterwards.

posted by theora55 27 March | 11:37

I get lots of strange presents from clients, including boxes of chocolates, the most recent in a heart-shaped box, often with religious cards. I like chocolate, but I'm picky. Fortunately we have an office kitchen/lunch room and anything put there is gone in 1/2 hour.

posted by Claudia_SF 27 March | 11:44

Make rice crispie squares with it (melt chocolate in microwave and mix with crisped rice, put in the fridge in a brownie pan to set), take them into the office and offer them round. Job's a good 'un.

posted by bifter 27 March | 12:04

If you will send your chocolate to me right now, I will eat it for you.

posted by mygothlaundry 27 March | 12:06

I don't think it would be morally right to pass this terrible burden onto someone else.

posted by TheophileEscargot 27 March | 12:16

What would the benefit of finishing that egg? I doubt it's very tasty because of its cheapness, so it's probably mostly wax.

And your boss isn't going to call you next weekend and ask you how that egg was, isn't going to wonder why you keep avoiding the question, why you still haven't worn that blinky Christmas sweater she knitted for you.

So. If you don't eat it you don't lose anything, your company doesn't lose anything, and the starving children in Africa will never know you had it. If you do eat it, you gain empty calories that don't even taste good, your company doesn't care, and the starving children in Africa will still be starving.

I see no reason whatsoever to eat it.

posted by rhapsodie 27 March | 12:28

That would be a waste rhapsodie. You can't just waste things.

Like, if I waste this easter egg, the ineffable workings of karma will mean that in a year's time civilization will collapse and I'll end up starving to death in a cellar somewhere, desperately dreaming of the half easter egg I once threw away for no reason at all.

posted by TheophileEscargot 27 March | 12:38

Dude, it's crappy chocolate. Wrap it up and store it in your bomb shelter, for the day that your starving to death and desperately dreaming of it. I can guarantee it so pumped full of preservatives, it'll last till then.

posted by muddgirl 27 March | 12:43

A Scottish co-worker of mine spent Easter in Paisley where he partook of deep-fried Creme Eggs from the local chippie. A special seasonal treat, apparently, replacing the traditional Mars Bar.

posted by essexjan 27 March | 13:11

I guess there ain't no such thing as a free... chocolate Easter egg.

I don't think you have to finish eating it. Chocolate isn't necessary for your nutrition, and if it's very bad, it'll make you sick.

The egg should never have been made, sold, or bought by your company, but that's out of your hands. While you did receive it, I don't believe you have to make sure it's eaten.

posted by halonine 27 March | 14:46

As my mother often points out, using your body as a garbage disposal unit is also waste.

posted by small_ruminant 27 March | 17:04

I like that, s_r.

posted by halonine 27 March | 20:39

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