Today must be Crazy Day. →[More:] First off: The Wierd Non-Book Object Found In A Box Of Books Of The Day. Today, it was a wad of about twenty envelopes full of latex examination gloves. So, if I get the urge to some random cavity searches, I'm all set.

Then just as we're about to close up the buying desk, while I'm working on a big load from one of our homeless guy regulars, another one of our regulars walks up; this whitegirl in her late twenties or early thirties, with piled-high dreads, black nailpolish, plugs in her ears made out of wrenchsockets and filthy clothes. She saw that it was six o'clock, but hse only had a small bag, so I waved her forward. She was weaving in place and smelled of cheap liquor and dopesweat, and was half nodding out on her feet. "Thank you, jon sweetie," she slirred (the curse of a being a friendly guy with a nametag-requiring job). I started sorting her books on the counter and she came up behind me and rested her open palm on the right side of my belly and let it linger there. I just kept on sorting. So, I got groped by a junkie. Well, when you're me, you take your flattery where you find it, I guess. After she got her money, she came back and in a fuzzy voice asked me if I'd seen her husband. I said I didn't know and she said that he had a shaved head and was dressed in black. I said that described half the men in the neighborhood and she wove off into the night.

Then waiting in line at the Key Food, Me and another customer had our orders crowded together on the conveyor. She noticed mine (a big bottle of Lumpy Gravy beer, a quart of strawberry Quik, and a Chicken Pot Pie). "It's the Guy Survival Pak," I joked. She, a blowsy blonde in her forties, had three two-liters of 7-Up. "I'm on vacation," she said, wafting a huge blast of whiskey-breath in my face, "this is all for alcohol, haha!"

I can only assume that there was a mass escape at a rehab or something.

Anyway, who's hungry?