LOL. MY AMAZON ISSUE HAS BEEN RESOLVED. I FELT SORRY SHOUTING AT THEM. SO I ZAPPED THE POST.

APOLOGIES ethylene.

MY VOTE IS FOR CLUELESS USER.

NOTE TO THE SUPER: WHEN YOU ARE ASKED HOW MUCH LONGER THE CONSTRUCTION IN THE PENTHOUSE IS GOING TO TAKE, DON'T FUCKING LIE TO ME AND SAY NOTHING'S HAPPENING WHEN I HAVE HEARD POUNDING, DRILLING ET AL OVER MY HEAD EVERY SINGLE DAY FOR THE PAST FOUR MONTHS!!!!! DON'T GIVE ME THE GASLIGHT SHIT THAT THIS IS ONLY HAPPENING TWO FLOORS UNDER ME!!! I HAVE SEEN THE BUILDING PERMIT!!!! I WILL GLADLY GET OUT OF HERE ONCE THE PLACE IS MADE FIT TO LIVE!

TO THE VILE PRICK OF A PORTER WHO THINKS I NEED TO GET FUCKED: JUST HOW WILL THAT CHANGE THE FACT THAT YOU ARE A SLIMY PIECE OF SHIT? I HAVEN'T FORGOTTEN HEARING YOU BADMOUTH OTHER RESIDENTS.I GET THIS SHIT IN THE STREET, I DON'T FUCKING NEED IT WHERE I LIVE.

DAY TWO - TOILET TRAUMA. DAY TWO OUT OF BUSY BUSY WORK SO I WILL BE WORKING ON THE WEEKEND. PLUMBER HERE ONCE ALREADY, PROBLEM IMPROVED BUT NOT SOLVED. I NEED IT SOLVED TODAY BECAUSE I CANNOT MISS ANY MORE WORK.

BRUJITA: IF SOME ASSHOLE SAID THAT TO ME, I THINK I WOULD DIE. THEN GET HIM FIRED.

YOU CAN'T JUST EDIT AND PHOTOSHOP YOUR MISTAKES AWAY, SEANYBOY. BUT A SPARE COPY OF PS WOULD BE MUCH APPRECIATED. BY ME.

MUD, WOMEN DO NOT DIE, THEY KILL. IT IS BIOLOGY.

DON'T PRAY TO THE PORCELAIN GOD, RAINBABY. DON'T DO IT.

THIS REMINDS ME: SAIS WOULD MAKE A LOVELY LUNAR NEW YEAR'S GIFT FOR SOMEONE, EVEN A SWORD IF I COULD FIND THE ROOM TO SWING IT. HINT, HINT. A WOMEN NEEDS TO RETURN TO FIGHTING FORM SOMETIME.

HE DIDN'T SAY IT; HE GAVE ME THE LEER THAT MEANT IT. NOTHING'S GOING TO BE DONE UNTIL THE MANAGEMENT COMPANY IS DRIVEN OUT...AND I HAVE NO IDEA WHEN THAT WILL BE.

I JUST WENT FOOD SHOPPING WITH A CRANKY TWO YEAR OLD. WE NEEDED DIAPERS, KITTY LITTER AND EVERY KIND OF BEAN ON EARTH SO WE GOT ALL THAT AND SOME CHICKEN AND WENT TO PAY AND THIS ONLY TOOK FOREVER AS I PICKED THE CRANKY TWO YEAR OLD'S CLOTHES AND SHOES AND THE TWO YEAR OLD HERSELF UP FROM THE FLOOR MAYBE SEVENTEEN TIMES DURING THE TRIP THROUGH THE STORE. AT THE CHECKOUT MY CARD WON'T WORK, I HAVE TO LEAVE THE STUFF AND RUN TO A CASH MACHINE AROUND THE CORNER AND FIND THAT I HAVE ONLY HALF THE MONEY I NEED AVAILABLE BECAUSE MY SALARY WON'T BE IN UNTIL THE MORNING -EEP! SO I RETURN TO THE STORE AND QUEUE UP TO THE SAME CASHIER AND TELL HER THAT WE NEED TO TAKE ITEMS OUT AND CHOP THE COST IN HALF AND SHE AGREES SO WE PICK OUT ALL THE STUFF WE NEED LIKE KITTY LITTER AND DIAPERS AND TONIGHT'S CHICKEN AND MAYBE FIFTEEN KINDS OF BEANS AND IT TAKES FOREVER AND PEOPLE GET GRUMPY AND THE LINE KEEPS GETTING LONGER BUT WE KEEP AT IT AND THEN FINALLY I CAN PAY AND GO. AND THEN MY MAN SAYS "THAT WAS SO ANNOYING, LIKE IN THE MIDDLE OF RUSH HOUR AND DIDN'T YOU SEE THE LINE?" AND I SNAPPED BACK I DON'T CARE. THEY MAY NEVER HAVE SHOPPED WITH A CRANKY TWO YEAR OLD WHEN THERE'S NO FOOD IN THE HOUSE! I'M TAKING MY SPACE DAMMIT!

ARGH, dabitch, ARRRGH!! GOD HOW I HATE SUPERMARKET TWATS!

I GOT THE EVIL DEATH GLARE FROM SOME LADY IN LINE AT THE SUPERMARKET JUST LAST NIGHT BECAUSE I TOOK SOMETHING LIKE FOUR EXTRA SECONDS GETTING STUFF LOADED INTO MY MESSENGER BAG. LISTEN, WOMAN, IT IS NOT MY FAULT THEY ONLY HAD ONE ATTENDANT CHECKOUT LINE OPEN. UNLIKE SOME PEOPLE I DON'T ATTEMPT TO CRAM 26 ITEMS THROUGH THE 15 ITEM LIMIT SELF-CHECK BECAUSE THAT FUCKS UP THE SCALES AND MAKES THEM HAVE TO REBOOT THE MACHINES AND SO ON. AND SO SORRY TO INCONVENIENCE YOU, BUT I DO KINDA HAVE TO BAG MY OWN STUFF BECAUSE FIFTEEN YEAR OLDS DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW TO BALANCE A MESSENGER BAG SO THAT THE CANNED GOODS DON'T MURDER ME AT A STOPLIGHT. SO WHY DON'T YOU JUST TAKE YOUR TRANS-FAT, SUGAR, HFCS AND STARCH LADEN BAGS OF GOO AND STUFF 'EM UP YOUR HUMMER, YOU SANCTIMONIOUS SNOT.

I LEAVE TOMORROW MORNING AND I'M NOT READY! GODDAMMIT! AAAAAUUUUGGGGGGHHHHH! I'M GONNA BE OFF MY LOVELY ROCK (AND POSSIBLY MY ROCKER ALSO) FOR SOMETHING LIKE 5 WEEKS AND IT'S GONNA BE LOTS OF FUN AND SUCH BUT HOLY CRAP! I'M SO NOT READY!

AND MY SECOND FAVOURITE MUG (PRESSED INTO SERVICE WHEN MY FAVOURITE MUG BROKE IN A PHONE CORD MISHAP A COUPLE OF WEEKS AGO) HAS SOMEHOW DEVELOPED A PINHOLE ON THE BOTTOM, SO MILK AND TEA ALL OVER THE CUTTING BOARD AND NO MORE MUG AND IT'S IRREPLACEABLE BECAUSE MY SISTER BOUGHT IT IN BAMFIELD FROM THE POTTER YEARS AND YEARS AGO AND IT WAS THE LAST UNBROKEN PIECE FROM THE STUFF SHE GAVE ME!!!!!!!

I ONCE HAD MY THREE FAVORITE MUGS ALL MURDERED IN THE SPAN OF A WEEK. IT WAS EXTRA SADDENING BECAUSE THEY ALL MET THEIR DEMISE IN AWKWARD ACCIDENTAL WAYS, LIKE HOW MY L&R MUG GOT THE HANDLE SHEARED OFF BECAUSE SOMEONE BUMPED IT AGAINST A TABLE LEG IN THE MIDDLE OF A TO DO AND I DIDN'T WANT TO MAKE A BIG DEAL AND MAKE THEM FEEL BAD. SO I FELT SAD IN THE MUTE DARKNESS OF MY LONESOME.

YOU WILL BE READY. YOU MAKE READY.

THANKS SO MUCH, ETHYLENE! THAT MAKES ME FEEL BETTER! BUT STILL:

GODFUCKINGDAMMIT, FRIEND-WHO-IS-STAYING-WITH-ME, NO IT'S NOT FUCKING OKAY FOR YOU TO INVITE PEOPLE OVER FOR DINNER TONIGHT! I DON'T CARE IF YOU'RE COOKING! I DON'T CARE IF THEY'RE MY FRIENDS, TOO! I DON'T FUCKING CARE IF ONE OF THEM IS COMING BY TO PAY ME SOME MONEY HE OWES ME! NO, THIS DOES NOT MEAN THAT HE 'MIGHT AS WELL STAY AND HAVE DINNER WITH US'! I'M FUCKING LEAVING ON A LONG FUCKING TRIP TOMORROW AT STOOPID O'CLOCK IN THE MORNING AND I NEED SOME FUCKING TIME ALONE TO FUCKING SORT MY SHIT OUT! IT'S ENOUGH THAT IN SPITE OF THIS I LET YOU COME OVER AS A FAVOUR 'CAUSE YOU'RE AN OLD FRIEND WHO'S HELPED ME OUT, TOO, SURELY?!? (Though it has actually been mostly a help having him here--he's a kitchen-keeper-cleaner extraordinaire, which takes a major chore out of my hands.) BUT STILL, WTF ARE YOU THINKING?!?!?!?!?!?!?

Posting follow-up in the interest of fairness: Spoke with one of said friends to cancel, and she told me that they will do all cooking, cleaning, fire-tending, and also take on anti-elizard-freak-out duties when necessary. She & her gf are experienced travellers, so they'll be happy to help me not pack crap I don't need because it's the last minute and I'm just throwing stuff into my pack in case I might need it. All better now. Whew. Blasting Urge Overkill at top volume helped, too.

Sorry to hear about your mugs, eth.

GLAD IT WORKED OUT. THE MUGS DIED A DECADE AGO. I'M OVER IT.
BUT I HAD REALIZED THAT WHEN I REALIZE MY LOVE FOR INAMINATE OBJECTS, BAD THINGS TEND TO BEFALL THEM. THIS IS DEMONSTRATED BY A FORK I LOVE THAT JUMPED DOWN THE DISPOSAL. WROTE A COMIC ABOUT IT. STILL HAVE IT, STILL LOVED IT. IT HAPPENED AGAIN. I FEAR FOR IT JUST STATING THIS ALOUD.
I'M NOT SURE WHAT HAPPENED TO A SPOON I ALSO CARED FOR BUT ANOTHER LOOKS EERILY LIKE THE FLATWARE IN TAZ'S PASTA PICTURE. WHEN I FOUND SOMEONE WITH A CORRESPONDING FORK, THEY TOLD ME IT WAS SOMETHING THEY FOUND DISCARDED IN A WHITE TRASH HOVEL THEY MOVED INTO. I DIDN'T CARE AND THEY GAVE IT TO ME. IT BRINGS ME CLOSER TO MY PERFECT FLATWEAR DESIGN, SHOULD I EVER GET THE CHANCE. MEANWHILE MY FONDNESS FOR ICE TEA SPOONS AND FONDUE FORKS GOES UNDIMINISHED.

Do you think there'd be a market for crazy-straw-looking fondue forks?

There's someone for something everywhere, but not for me, but then i've never used fondue forks for fondue.