Depends who you are addressing, and context. If there's time to chat, or a vague sense of intelligence there, I lead with "World expert in tobacco document research, creator of world's largest digital library, and poet" but if it's just an idle question I usually say "Librarian and teacher."

What DO you do?

This is what I usually say: "I have a behind the scenes Insurance job. It isn't Claims or Sales or Underwriting or Actuarial. You know the insurance policies you get? Whith all that stuff on the back of it? I work in the department that makes sure all that stuff is right." LONG! BORING!

What's the alternative: "I'm an Insurace Administrator?" That leads to "what does THAT mean" and repeat above.

Halp?

When I was a judicial law clerk, I found that very few non-lawyers understood what that meant. So, I got to a point where I would usually just say that I worked for a judge. People tended to assume that meant that I was his secretary. Whatever. It was easier.

I just say I'm a programmer. It makes things easier for everyone.

An alternative: "I work in insurance, but my job isn't my life. My favorite hobby though is ..."

I browse the internet for a living. The other 100% of my income comes from my second job.

I tell them my field. Instead of saying I do this, this, this, this and this, which you really wouldn't understand but is quite crucial to the artform, and this and this, I say " I work in [blank]". Then if they are really interested I will elaborate, but perhaps only talk about what I am doing that day.

rainbaby, you save the world with small print.

I just tell people I'm a farmer.

*Really* depends on audience. If I have no interest in talking to the person, or I think they won't understand it, or I only have a minute, I just say doctor. It's technically correct, and I can bullshit if they ask questions. And at least they know what a doctor is.

Otherwise I say "I do biomedical research/I work in a lab/I'm a scientist/I'm a reproductive neuroendocrinologist" depending on who I'm talking to.

I tell 'em that I work with the elderly. They don't often ask beyond that.

I'm thinking "I work in the Small Print division of an Insurance Company" sounds real good. Thanks guys, esp. Occiblu! More input very welcome.

How about "Fine Print Division...", rainbaby?

I don't like talking about my job because people react in certain ways. I'll tell them I'm a meat wrapper, and they'll automatically go "Oh, so you're a butcher?" And then it's "No, I don't cut meat (I can, sort of, if need be), I just wrap it." But the job is so much more involved than that.

In preparation for my high school reunion several years ago, I came up with "I'm in Fresh Meat Packaging and Presentation for an East Coast Supermarket Chain." Sounds better.

*Really* depends on audience.

Agreed. Unless I think someone's interested, I just say I'm a lawyer and let them draw their own conclusions. Because of the visceral reaction that disclosure tends to evoke in most people, I used to feel a need to follow up with something else. Now, not so much. If they want to know, they'll ask me. If they do ask, I say that I provide free representation for poor people living with HIV/AIDS in Brooklyn. It's a mouthful, but I've learned to get it out in a few seconds. It's normally followed with silence, and then, "Oh, so you work for the government?" That's when things get really exciting.

I just tell people I'm an engineer and let them guess whether I mean the boring kind or the train-drivin kind.

I've been telling people that I'm a corporate assassin for years. They all laugh, until they see the wall of heads.

I just say I'm an knuckledragger. Makes it simple, and no one really cares what a knuckledragger does anyways. We just grunt in the background...

I go back and forth between "I work in finance" and "I work in investments" and "I work on Wall Street". But I'm too disconnected from the mainstream understanding of those terms to really know if they convey what I mean by them. It doesn't help that Wall Street is both a physical place and an 'industry', the business of which is hardly ever conducted on that actual street anymore.

"I work with computers."

That seems to satisfy lots of people. If they want elaboration, I can provide it, but I started out describing my then-job accurately, to have it summed up with, "So you work with computers?".

I've followed that lead!

Software Engineer.
(when pushed)
Image Processing Components
(when pushed further)
Like PhotoShop in a can.

I really don't bother.

I say that I work for a computer startup and that seems to satisfy 90% of people. They don't even ask what I do there. I design tests for a distributed storage system.

"I work for a tissue bank. You know, like organ and tissue donation?"

Which leads into a discussion of whether they are an organ donor or if they know someone whose life was saved/ruined by a transplant. I don't get into what exactly I do there - after-donation family care is pretty boring to someone who hasn't needed it, but essential to those that do.

I've got one of those easy-to-explain jobs.

But, more broadly, I think that 'I work at an x' is often a good way to go.

-"I'm an art director, working in advertising"
- So, do you do ads?
- "Yes. These days mainly beauty products, such as makeup. (drop brand names if they're interested)"
- "So, you take the photos?"
- "No, the photographer does that."
- "You write the headlines?"
- "No the copywriter does that."
- "You do the commercials?"
- "Kind of, but the director directs them."
- "The layout then, you do that?"
- "I rough them but the designers or studio guys do the layouts."
- "Airbrushing pimples off models faces in the photos?"
- "No, that's retouch who does that."
- "So what do you do?"
- "I'm an Art director, in advertising...."

(my job is as its title alludes to direct the Art but this doesn't make much sense to people. Not even my mother gets it, still.)

Most people don't really understand what I do, despite the fact that my job title is really straight forward. I find it surprising the number of times that I have to explain in minute detail what my job entails.

My job is really hard to describe too. There are two things confusing about my job - 1.) I work for an association, which a lot of people never think about, and 2.) The industry my association serves is itself not something many people know/think about. Here's how it often goes.

"I work for a trade association for real estate managers" (This is my standard, as-short-as-I-can-get-it answer.)
"Ooooh, so you're in real estate? How's business?"
"No, I'm not in real estate. I work for an non-profit association for people in real estate. Like the AMA for doctors."
"Oh, so can you help me find a real estate agent, I need to buy a condo"
"No, our members are property managers. You know, the people that manage apartment complexes or office buildings or whatever."
"Oh. So what do you do there?"
"My title is [really long and not helpful title] which means that I manage our student outreach program and I also do business development, selling our training to companies and other associations and government entities."

Person walks away confused...

If the person doesn't walk away confused, it can be an interesting conversation starter. "Association management," which is really my field, isn't something too many people know about. Hell, I didn't before I worked here. I could call it non-profit management, which is technically true but most people think of Save The [fill in blank] type organizations when they think of non-profits. Anyway, it can be fun to talk about how many crazy associations are out there. For example, I am a member of an association for people that work for associations. :)

I am very glad to be getting out of copywriting, because people tend to think that I said "copyrighting," and I've had people ask if I get to stamp those little Cs on things.

I change the subject.

When I worked/had a career:

"I'm a loan underwriter. I'm the person who decides if you qualify for a home loan."

Now, depending on who's asking:

"I have health issues, so I'm not currently employed." Alternatively, "I'm a stay-at-home mum to five furry, four-legged beasties."

I have what's classically considered a "boring" job. Whatever you do, just tell them you're an EXTREME ______ ______, and then chug an entire can of Mountain Dew. I find that smashing the empty against your forehead generally limits the follow-up questions.

Well actually no, I'm not a librarian. Yes, I have worked in libraries for 10 years. Well actually no, I'm not a librarian.