I empathise, hadjiboy. I grew up in a home where I couldn't do right for doing wrong, and consequently felt I was walking on eggshells the whole time.

I once told my dad, "You know, if I cured cancer on Tuesday, the first thing you'd say is that I'd have had it done Monday night if I'd worked harder." He looked at me and said, "Well, you do have plenty of room for improvement, you know."

*sigh*

The only way to win is not to play.

Unfortunately your parents are just people and this means that they are not exempt from acting petty and illogical.

BitterOldPunk is right - you can't win so don't even bother playing the game. Do what you think is sensible and then if it's questioned raise an eyebrow and "agree to disagree".

Unfortunately your parents are just people and this means that they are not exempt from acting petty and illogical.

This would have saved me a lot of high school angst.

Sarcasm works well for me with micromanaging nitpickers. Plus it pisses them off that you don't take them seriously. YMMV

My dad's just childish plebe asshole at times who doesn't think before he speaks most of the time. He could be fun to hang with at a bar or golf course if he wasn't my father, but he's just not father material. Definitely not teacher material.
He's like linen, only works well for specific things, otherwise it's just comes across sloppy.

The only way to win is not to play.

Quoted for truth. And really, if you're never good enough, it might be because he thinks so highly of you that he's set higher standards for you than he ever imagined for himself.
I know that's the issue I've had with my mom. "you never finished college" "neither did you, mom" "yes, but you're different," or "you just got a B in that?" "a b isn't bad, and my sister barely passed." "I expect more of you."

You know, that sort of thing.

It most likely is because he loves you so much, and wants to see you happy, successful, and with a better life than he had. Which is what I'd think any parent would want. He just has a funky way of showing it.

I'm not a parent, but as I've reached the age where my social group now includes many of them, I've realized something. Parents act like they know what they're doing, but they're all terrified. Every one of my friends is literally up nights on occasion just worried about what if this happens, or what if I do that, or what can I do to make sure I'm not like my parents were in regards to something. Just terrified. It doesn't show, but they're my friends so it's discussed. It was a real eye opener for me to realize that they have no more idea about how to be a parent than anyone else, even though they are one. I don't know why it never occurred to me before, though.

"A Minus? Why not an A?"

They fuck you up, your mom and dad.

You can't help your family is the main thing.

(I currently love my Dad.)

You dad's doing it because he's having a hard time transitioning out of the role of ass-wiper. He'll come along. Maybe.

i forgot to add any advice: response with casual kindness as you would a stranger. Either they let it roll off their backs or notice the difference.

Both Divine_Wino and Philip Larkin are correct.

And being a Yorkshireman, I'm well aware of the things the older generation will say.