This is coming from a position of ignorance of alcoholism, but: 45 days to lose that lot? Wow, either he did a series of really, really bad things or his company and family obviously had no compunction in letting him get to where he is now. It's terribly sad that he started drinking again but more sad that people that I would expect to support him obviously haven't. I too hope he makes it.

TheDonF, yes, it can happen that fast. When an alcoholic starts drinking again, it isn't a case of one or two beers anight. It might be like that for a day or two, but then the allergy/craving/obsession kicks in, and then all bets are off.

People in the grip of active alcholism can steal, embezzle, threaten, hurt, go awol ... and this can happen within days, sometimes hours, of taking that first drink.

He could even be a mean drunk, which would explain the losing the wife thing - especially if she'd been there before, and was NOT willing to go through that again. I hope he can get himself straightened out again. Scary, how alcohol can so easily take over one's life.

Yeah, my experience with this is that when a non-alcoholic swears off for awhile, your alcohol tolerance decreases and so does the desire to drink. This means that if you're not a boozer and you go get drunk after a three month dry spell, you're a cheap drunk. You don't return to the same amount you drank before, you drink less (or you pray to the porcelain god).

When an alcoholic falls off the wagon, we return to the same level of boozing we did before almost immediately - and usually, it's a hell of a lot more destructive because there's this horrible guilt spiral that starts: You shouldn't be drinking, so you feel guilty, and drink to assuage the guilt. This makes you feel more guilty, this makes you angry and guiltier so you drink even more. And so on.

It's really quite common, when someone goes out and drinks again after a long period of sobriety, for them to completely fuck up in less than two months. In fact, it seems to me that the longer you've been sober, the faster you fall - and the harder you hit bottom.

My ex-sponsor/counselor went out drinking after 18 years sober - he was dead 90 days later. Another long-timer at my home group went out after ten years (threw his ten year chip across the AA meeting room, actually), got drunk, fell in "love" with a kid at a gay bar, got outed to his wife, and ended up in a high-speed chase followed by an accident in a pedestrian-filled crosswalk and a long jail sentence. All in a week's time. He lost his support group, his marriage, his dignity, and his freedom.

For an alcoholic using the twelve steps - or hovering around the edges thinking about joining - AA can be like the mafia: A few meetings, and you know too much. You know your drinking is out of control, you know there's a way out of it, and you know the choice is entirely yours to make. This makes drinking very uncomfortable - so uncomfortable that you do it more and more - and can lead to a downward spiral that ends with the potential member sitting at a meeting, wondering what happens next...and being really relieved that there IS something next. For a long timer that goes out for a few, the idea of coming back to the meeting - humbled, bottomed out again - can be crushing. So they don't. They find another way to make it all stop.

And there, but for the grace of an AA meeting and a strong support group, go I. It's very freeing to know you don't have to be caught up in the cycle anymore.

EJ - I'm glad he made it back. That's a good thing. Even if he doesn't make it, he's still got a chance and he can serve as a lesson to others who may need to hear what he has to say.

Oh god, this makes my silly little problems pale into insignificance. I have been around alcohol addiction just enough to see how this could happen, but it's just such a waste. Why are we so weak? Why do people have to endure things like this?

Most people tend to learn from their mistakes and avoid making the same blunder twice. Now research reveals a genetic mutation that helps to determine the extent to which certain people are doomed to repeat history.

Drug addicts, alcoholics and compulsive gamblers are known to be more likely than other people to have this genetic mutation, which leaves them with fewer receptors of a certain type in the brain. These receptors — called D2 receptors — are activated when levels of the neurotransmitter dopamine drop. Dopamine is responsible for signalling fun and pleasure in the brain. But dopamine also helps us learn. When we make a pleasurable decision, dopamine is a chemical treat, urging the brain to repeat the choice. Being deprived of such a treat should theoretically activate D2 receptors and encourage people not to make that same decision again.