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24 December 2007

For everyone who works in an office, especially those who had to go in today... 'Twas the day before Christmas, and down here at work
Not a creature was stirring, not even a clerk;[More:]

Christmas cards hung in the lobby in bunches,
And in the lunch room where we rarely ate lunches;

The executives nestled all behind closed doors,
While visions of year-end they tried to ignore;

And I with my Accountant's green eyeshade half-kilter,
Had just gone online to check out MetaFilter,

When up from the warehouse there arose such a din,
I thought Shipping had collided with Receiving again.

Away from the window that my office lacked,
Past the Founder's portrait that covered a crack,

I bolted downstairs with a stride never broken
Past the No Smoking sign where the smokers were smokin',

And, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
Were all of the vendors we'd bought from this year,

With one out in front, so gnome-like and short,
I knew he had to be our IT support.

More numerous than tribbles, their small gifts they came,
And all of them marked with their company's names;

On pens and on pencils, on mugs and on mousepads!
On business card holders and various doo-dads!

On datebooks and calendars, both desk and wall,
And they didn't stop 'til they'd distributed all.

They spoke nary a word, but worked on like dogs,
Covering Purchasing's desks with their new catalogs,

And once everything they had brought was delivered,
They turned toward the door like the flow of a river;

I asked one why they would be leaving so soon,
He just said "12 more offices to hit before noon";

But I heard them exclaim, as they left in a huff,
"Merry Christmas to all, and please buy our stuff."
Wendell - there aren't words. That was awesome.
posted by Lipstick Thespian 24 December | 10:10
Great! Now do the prologue to The Canterbury Tales (in Middle English, of course).
posted by Atom Eyes 24 December | 10:12
Har! Giggle....
posted by mightshould 24 December | 10:20
I don't work in an office, but I still really enjoyed that.

Thanks, Santa.
posted by GeckoDundee 24 December | 10:23
Atom Eyes, I do not do requests. Besides, the original version of that is almost as old as Chaucer; I wrote it as a personal Christmas Card when I was working in a windowless office down the hall from Purchasing around 1982 - revised and recycled it for another office years later then lost the original and tried futilely to re-create it several times. Then, last night A CHRISTMAS (EVE) MIRACLE as 80% of it came back to me... I did more updating (including the MetaFilter reference, obviously) and got it all together in what was, for me, record time. But again, I just hope you get a giggle out of it, especially those of you who have to go in to the office on The Day Before Christmas...
posted by wendell 24 December | 10:28
I'd rather be here in my office than working in retail today. It's a nice day in the office - nice and quiet, and I'm not getting any work done...
posted by mightshould 24 December | 10:31
What mightshould said. It's peaceful here in the orifice today. I think I'll be back tomorow.
posted by pieisexactlythree 24 December | 13:26
Ahaha. That's good.
posted by CitrusFreak12 24 December | 14:33
Christmas bunnies! OMG! || The cavalry is on the way!

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