THAT'S RIDICULOUS!

Christ.

I've been at a funeral for much of the day. Before the funeral started, Val (sister's friend) phoned me, wanting to know if the hospital had called me. They had not. Apparently they were sending my sister home at 12.30 (it was now 12.15) with her daughter. My sister does not have a daughter!!!

I phoned the hospital and spoke to the nurse. He said that they felt she was 'better' and that she could go home for the weekend with her daughter. I asked who this so-called daughter was and he didn't know. I told him that I am next of kin and why had nobody thought to contact me when they are aware from her file that she has no children.

It turned out that the 'daughter' is a 16-year-old girl who washes dishes in one of the kitchens where my sister works. The hospital was quite prepared to discharge my sister into her care!!!

But, after frantic phone calls from me and Val, they've now sent her home with two members of the Crisis Care Team, who will leave her with a number to call. And it's one of those "If you know the extension you require, please dial it now. If you require Blah press 1, for Bleah press 2 ..." If you're in a frigging crisis you don't need that!

They will, apparently, call in and see her every day, and on Monday will review whether or not she's able to be discharged permanently.

I asked if someone would monitor her meds, because she didn't take them in the summer. "We encourage people to take them" was the reply. So, I asked, does that mean that one of the Crisis Care Team will turn up every day at 8am and say "here's your medication, let me see you take it". Amazingly enough, not, that's not what it means. What they do is point out to patients the need to take medication, so they can make an informed choice.

I've spoken to all of my sister's close friends and neighbours and what we've decided to do, if we get strange phone calls or rambling texts or if she's pounding on the door, to ring this Crisis Care Team, even if it's the middle of the night (they said they were 24-hour, let's see how accurate that is).

It's not a question of her needing a bit of company, she needs psychiatric nursing care which none of us is capable of providing.

The nurse I spoke to yesterday told me that she is so sick that if she'd tried leaving, they'd have had to 'section' her under the Mental Health Act to keep her there. So why, now, is she ok to be on her own??!!

Thankfully I managed to get hold of her neighbour and told her to remove the ethernet cable from the computer so my sister can't get onto the internet, which is where she's got herself into all sorts of bother.

I AM SO ANGRY!! And I was at Kathryn's funeral today too, which was very, very sad, as well as being the churchiest funeral I've ever been to. The Church of England liturgy needs to be put to bed and buried. I don't believe in God or religion, so I just stood up and sat down when everyone else did, all the time worrying about how many ways I can sue Derby Primary Heath Care Trust for negligence in my sister's treatment.

Holy cow, what a mess! And while there's never a GOOD time for a crisis like this to happen, why do they always seem to happen at the WORST possible times?

I don't know what to say, jan, except A) yeah, this is complete bullshit on the hospital's part, and B) good luck!! I hope she gets through the weekend without incident. I can not even imagine how stressful this must be for you (and I have some experience in dealing with family-induced stress).

That's better than i thought it would be with people actually keeping tabs on her to some degree, but consistency of care is almost always a problem.
Is there an overcrowding problem there?
it doesn't sound like she's in a state to even be aware of how much of a mess this is unless things have been off the rails much longer than suspected.
i'm so sorry, jan.

I'm just astounded that they let her go home.

That is simply fuck-witted.

Hospital staff were asleep at the wheel.

As you said, her file says she has no children and they released her to a teenage girl they'd never seen before.

Unbelievable.

I hope she gets through the weekend without incident.

Actually, we are all hoping that she gets through the weekend with plenty of incident - not the kind that causes her any harm, but enough that it is obvious that she needs to be in hospital.

Can that nurse get in touch with someone at the hospital with more clout?

And these are the people who supposedly know what they're doing? Ridiculous.

I'm sorry, jan. What a load of horseshit.

Is it possible she saw a psychiatrist and gave him the nice, "I'm really all right" talk? I know plenty of people, perhaps myself included, who can talk themselves out of any situation. They know all the "right" answers, and for those 15 minutes they can seem perfectly sane.

I'm asking because I was hospitalized a few years ago after taking too much medicine. It was a bad scene, a terrible time in my life, and I absolutely did not want to be in the hospital. I had one conversation with a doctor and I was released almost immediately.

It would be nice if they had talked to my mom, my boyfriend, etc. to get a bit of perspective on how things really were. They didn't even talk to my regular psychiatrist or therapist! I may not necessarily have needed to be there, but I don't think it would have hurt to stay on for a week or so.

Fuckity fuck fuck. Would it help if you gave them some sort of documented statement about the fuckedness of your sister?

Releasing her into the care of a non-existent daughter? Really? Really?

It's time for them to understand that her sister is a lawyer. Too bad that's not a constraint they normally have in mind for all their patients.

"... IT GETS WORSE."
post by: essexjan at: 12:20

Yes. Yes, it does. And sometimes, the bottom just falls out of the wave we ride, and whether we come up, or don't, is just blind, dumb luck.

So sorry for your sister. And so sorry that this wave is headed your way, essexjan.

I just talked to my sister. She said that the 16-year-old girl (the 'daughter') is very upset with me, in fact she kept going on and on and on about it. I said that's tough, the people closest to her only have her best interests at heart. She said the only people who have her interests at heart are Mel [the 'daughter'], Martyn [loser boyfriend] and Como [fantasy boyfriend] and that they are the only people she wants in her life.

I am staying well away from it. She must sink or swim without me.

*shakes jan's hand, gives her a hug*

A very sane, smart decision, jan. If you need support sticking to it, you know we're here.

Get a new phone number.

Oh NO Jan I was hoping it wouldn't be about your sister. I totally support your decision to steer clear of the ensuing drama. (((EJ)))

"... I am staying well away from it. She must sink or swim without me."
posted by essexjan 14 December

"... If you need support sticking to it, you know we're here."
posted by elizard 14 December

And we're still here, even if, it turns out, you can't. :-0

Oh God Jan, sounds like they were clearing the decks for the weekend. We're here for you. I hate to say I'm not surprised, angry, but not surprised. The psychiatric services really are the Cinderella of the NHS.

Oh Jan, this really really sucks. Please keep venting for as long as you need to. We're here for you.

(((((((Jan))))))))))

Oh, holy hell.

Well, essexjan, I know you don't believe in God, but since I do I hope it's okay if I pray for your sister. And my prayers will indeed go along the line of "please Lord let her show herself nuts so she can go back where she can be looked after."

I am so, so sorry.

(Does this sixteen year old have parents that can be influenced to make her understand she needs to back away from this? particularly as you are, ahem, a lawyer? Sheesh.)

((((jan))))

Oh, good heavens, jan, I'm sorry for this.

Hope things work out as well as they can, ej. For you and your sister.

With my birth mother, we had the opposite problem. In Connecticut at the time (late 1980s), they kept people in the hospital/psychiatric institution until they had a place for them at a group home, if they had no other place to go. I was in college at the time. My mother was quite lucid after about a month of med stabilization (she was bipolar), but got stuck at this awful institution, alla Cuckoo's Nest, for over two years, waiting for an opening in the group home.

Course, your sister could always live with you.

*transatlantic scream bursts eardrums*

Gah, chupahija used to rant that her therapist (who let me know she thought ch was a rotten mother) was "worried about me"; if that were actually the case the woman would have told me this herself.