Litterers in general. I weary of cleaning up my little corner of my apartment complex. Too many overgrown children around here.

Getting lost. I *hate* it.

Being personally fat the day before Thanksgiving, or anytime, really. And unnecessary quotation marks. "Best Tree Service In Town!" Says who? Gah.

Women with high-pitched voices, who really consciously say cutsie things like "Fooey!"

"Dear" as in "Yes, dear."

Erratic handwriting. Guys with bubbly handwriting.

Flash intros.

People who stand two across on the escalator and block it so that nobody can walk past. I ride up a three-story escalator in the downtown train station every morning, and many's the time I wanted to start shouting, "STAND RIGHT, WALK LEFT, MOTHERF**CKERS!!!"

(I'm cranky in the mornings.)

(I'm cranky in the mornings.)

me too, BP, me too.

Women's pants with no pockets. Ooooh, it spoils the line. Bite me fashion designers. Where am I supposed to put my cell phone, and a couple bucks for coffee, and my id card/doorkey swiper?

TINY pockets on women's pants which are meant to have big ones...jeans, cords, chinos. Even at my proper weight, my waist isn't that much smaller than my hips, so I can get away with men's pants.

Raspberry coulis dumped on desserts when there's no mention of it on the menu.

The hissing sibilant 's' most young North American women seem to have now.

Drivers who think honking before they run a red light makes it okay.

Seconding Miko on the signal lights. Yes, pedestrians need to know where you're going, too.

People who stir their tea/coffee with the sugar spoon. Even worse: people who do this and then put it back. See that clean spoon right beside your mug? Yeah. That's yours. Stir with it, lick it, drop it on the floor, I don't care. Leave the sugar spoon alone. Gah!

Pull-start engines. Are you seriously telling me that you can design a car that parks itself, but you can't come up with a better starter for small engines than the fucking pull-start?!? For shame.

Dishes that don't wash themselves. Look, if I can't have my rocket car, at least give me self-washing dishes.

Er..that's seconding mala on the signal lights. Apologies.

Wow, I like pull start engines, but then again I like to occasionally punch myself really hard in the eye socket and/or temple, so that works out for me.

theora55 (and on preview many others) you stole one of mine =P I wear men's jeans / dickies quite often actually.

the one about not using turn signals really burns me. Pair this with an inattentive driver jabbering on their cell phone (which is typically why they don't use the indicators in the first place) = squishy time / hang time / hood ornament time for lfr-onna-bike.

People who just in general have no sense of boundaries or manners in a public setting, or just assume that the world revolves around them. This encompasses treating service staff like dogshit, standing in the travel path with giant backpacks / luggage on people movers of any species, taking SUV-sized double-wide strollers into cramped shops or blocking sidewalks with them, talking loudly on cell phones, reeking of cologne, letting their hell-spawn run rampantly unattended in bookstores / coffeeshops / libraries and other places where people gather to study or read, shoving in line for the bus/train/anywhere and generally being a Socially Incompetent Assmeister. I've come a long way with not getting instantly homicidally enraged by these people as they're everywhere and unavoidable, but some days I seem to really hit the lottery and it makes me cranky.

Women's *clothes* in general. Most are shittily made and lack functionality. The ones that aren't shittily made are insanely overpriced.

thank god for thrift shops and REI, who've cottoned onto this gripe in recent years and carry a very nice line of comfortable, FUNCTIONAL women's business casual wear that doesn't break the bank.

I never thought I'd say it when I was a teenager, but I'm now very thankful for my flat-chested, wide-shouldered frame. It translates into the ability to wear nice men's fitted dress shirts as blouses. Carefully chosen for colour / fabric, they don't look too genderbendy when paired with a nice wool skirt or slacks.

Socially Incompetent Assmeister

I like this, and will henceforth use it.

n-thing what theora said about women's pants. I've never carried a purse, as I hate to carry anything, really. Pockets - gotta have 'em.

Also cigarette butt flickers are very annoying - and obviously not thinking during the drought here. I don't care if you want to smoke yourself to death, but throw your shit in an appropriate receptacle, NOT in the median of that nice dry grass.

If the surface isn't flammable, I only mind butt-flickers if the butts are filters.

BP, I'm with you on the escalator thing, but I'm usually more than happy to ask them to move over. Very condescendingly, if I'm in a bad mood. ("Sorry, folks, but here in the city we stand on the right. I'm sure it's different whereever you're from." This works especially well if it's clear they think of themselves as urban hipsters.)

I hate drivers who screech to a halt at intersections AFTER the crosswalk. I also hate drivers who don't stop for pedestrians. It's un-Californian, is what it is! Where were they raised?!

And speaking of un-Californian, I hate people who waste water, especially if they're wasting so much it runs into the street.

I hate people who double park at a busy intersection to "run in" (yeah right) for a latte, especially when they have a "COEXIST" bumpersticker on their car.

I hate sanctimonious, meaningless bumperstickers. (What if war was not an option?)

Yes, I've had my caffiene this morning. Why do you ask?

People who don't pay attention to their surroundings, like stopping in the middle of the door to a shop, blocking the grocery aisle instead of moving their cart and themselves to one side, having conversations on the stairs and blocking the entire width of the stairs, walking up both sides of the stairs when the stairs are the only way down and there's an escalator going up, and moving towards the exit on the bus while the brake-loving driving is still herky-jerking the bus to a stop instead of waiting until he stops.

Also, "rubber band couples" who seem to be attached by an invisible five-foot-long rubber band. Typical example: a man and woman are walking down the street, the woman sees something sparkly in a store window and stops to gawk and the man isn't paying attention and keeps walking, and when one of them realizes they're about five feet apart they have to close the distance as quickly as possible regardless of who may be passing through the space.

Also, people who have been waiting in line and don't know what they want when they get to the front of the line.

People who call me at work and say, "Someone from there just called me?"

Oh god, I thought I was the only one who got those calls. Even better is when they tell me that I called them.

People who talk on their cell phones while trying to order something at the coffee shop or check out in a store. I was in Starbucks a few weeks ago and there was someone ahead of me, talking on her cell phone. When the barista came to take someone's order, she looked at me first - since the other customer was on the phone. I knew what I wanted, so I cut ahead of phone girl. I felt good about it as she stuttered in her conversation, realizing she probably shouldn't have been on the phone if she wanted coffee.

And YES! "Um, someone called me from this number" is the last thing I want to hear when answering the phone for an office with 80+ people in it. I always say, "Did they leave a message? No? Then I can't help you."

kirkaracha: I think I'm a member of an almost rubber band couple. I always get distracted by things in shop windows. The BF doesn't get in people's way to get back to me though. He understands that I'm easily distracted and usually waits for me to catch up.

Automatic lawn sprinkler systems. I hate to see them on when it's raining - what a waste of water!
Overly exhuberant public displays of affection. Get a room!!!
And I second people on line checking out while on cell phones. I had a woman step up to our specialty meat counter. While deciding what she wanted, her phone rang. She stepped away from the counter to take the call. Meanwhile, another lady stepped up, and I took care of her. While weighing up her choices, the first one came back, and shot me a look because I'd had the nerve to take someone else!
People who light up cigarettes in crowds of people, without the common courtesy of stepping to the perimeter of the group. Especially when there are children around.

Gah! Yes, the hallway/escalator/train door/bus door blockers drive me nuts, too. Back in my angry stompy days I occasionally got pretty aggressive with them. I recall racing to my Uni hangout after a class, only to find a large group of giggly fashion victims standing in a semi-circle around the door, thus blocking both the hallway and the entrance, and standing between me and either a coffee or a beer (in those days, a very bad idea). I walked up behind the closest few, loomed over them (the purple hair, facial piercings, and fact that I was at least 6" taller than them helped with that) and in my smiliest voice said, "Excuse me, but would you mind not standing RIGHT IN THE FUCKING ROAD." They scattered in a most satisfying manner. Now that I'm a calmer person, I usually just say "Excuse me," and push my way through.