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12 November 2007

Hair looms on the horizon. You know it won't be long now. [More:] Your blind date is coming, and sure enough, she's a Jersey Girl. Teased to the sky with hair so high it needs aircraft warning lights. You curse your luck and your friends who set you up as even now, your senses are overwhelmed with the smell of product, cutting your knees out from under you and making you feel faint. The sticky-sweet hairspray and perfumes cling to your lungs, denying precious oxygen the binding sites it so desperately wants. This is it. You know you've only got one chance to escape a girl like her; and you'd do anything, anything to do so. Living on a prayer, you run like you were born to. Rushing headlong like some kind of teenage warhead, you fly through a nearby window, landing badly. As you clutch your sweet fracture, you picture the revenge you'll take on each of your friends who gave you the runaround when you asked about this girl. Sure, you might get 18 to life, but it'll be worth it.
[citation provided] for the musical refs.
posted by Eideteker 12 November | 23:38
Hey now. Not all of us Jersey Girls hail from AquaNet-a land. To be sure though, a select few (myself included) can still clock a guy off his chair at McSorley's for not minding his manners. A girl just needs to have her priorities straight. :P
posted by dancinglamb 13 November | 00:09
The taller the hair, the closer to God.

(Jersey boy here)
posted by plinth 13 November | 07:49
Ahhhhhhh. OK. That explains it. Lapsed heathen here.
posted by dancinglamb 13 November | 11:29
Has anyone tried this Hair Loom? || Meh. No smool riah here. I thought they would have one.

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