This only happened once, but there was a problem with my computer mouse and it would intermittently jump somewhere on the screen, and I would have to look for it. Once it jumped just as a bird flew by outside and for an instant I thought, crap, now it's jumped out the window.

When I eat hot dogs, the only condiment I put on them is Thousand Island salad dressing.

I have a nervous tic. I've had it since my teens. I pull my neck muscles in to where my neck looks like a turtle's neck. I've gone months, even a year, without doing it, but it always comes back. Usually when I'm anxious or under stress. I also used to be an eye blinker: another nervous tic. That seems to have gone away, thank the gods. My mother also does the neck thing and the eye blinking. But nowadays, hardly ever.

There was this time in my early twenties. I was selling lemonade at an outdoor concession stand at a big flea market. A coworker of my mother's recognized me and told me I did the eye blinking, "just like your mother." Jesuschrist! My little boy asked me the other day, "mommy, why do you do this?" while imitating the neck thing.

Did I learn this from mother? Is it a hereditary tic? I dislike it, obviously. On particularly anxious days I can feel myself doing the neck thing frequently. I was driving down the road last week and I must have done it twenty times in a row. This is the day my kid asked me about it. It was the first time either of my children have asked about it, so that's reassuring. Maybe it's not so noticeable or frequent. I will sometimes hold the pose, so to speak, for a few seconds, release, and repeat. It's almost as if its involuntary, and the more I focus on it, the more I do it. Although I can control it if I use relaxation techniques or put my attention elsewhere. I can control it in public, or at least I think I can.

I do many other weird things. A couple more:

I don't finish sentences all the time, especially with the family. I'll verbalize a thought and stop mid point.

While sweeping or performing another mundane task I'll think of an embarrassing or sad moment and let out a little whimper or cry. Or talk to myself, and say something like, "what an asshole" or, "oh god."

I'm self-absorbed and think that people want to hear about my nervous tics.

When I'm stressed out, rather than grinding my teeth, I seem to click them together in my sleep. I also chew on the inside of my mouth when I'm awake and anxious, because it focuses my stress on something tangible. I feel like it's a low-grade dental version of cutting.

I also seem unable to end a question with any word other than "or..." Is that something you find yourself doing a lot, or...? Would you say that's a helpful thing, or...? I think it started as a way to indicate to the listener that she was free to disregard my take on the matter and give me her own, but it's turned into a weird verbal tic that's driving me insane.

I pay my credit bill before the 20-day deadline.

I sometimes wake up in the middle of the night knowing I won't make it to the toilet, so I pee in empty apple juice bottles, twist the cap nice and tight, and leave them to be dealt with in the morning. Sometimes I forget about them for a week or so and then I look at the row of urine bottles by the wall and think, I'm Howard Hughes without the money.

haha SmartDalek.

I have no idea what weird tics I have, but I'm sure they exist. My brother-in-law recently pointed out to my sister (his wife) that we don't say "Good morning." in my family; we say "There's coffee". He thought we were a little rude until he figured it out.

An ex once told me I eat apples weird. I leave what would be a first bite sized piece at the best looking part of the apple. Eat around it. Snap off the "first bite" and throw the core away. I remember once reading an incidental passage in a book about a girl who thought the first bite was best and ruined a bushel of apples, eating the first bite and toss the rest away. She's right, but I'm not that wasteful, nor do I have a bushel of apples.

I pick at and nibble the skin around my fingers. I call it cutilating my muticles. My boyfriend hates it but nobody else seems to notice.


Ummm... I guess that's it!

The bottoms of my feet itch inexplicably. I scratch them til they bleed. Then very rough scaly skin forms, which doesn't itch, but I miss the itch, so I pull the skin off and start the process all over again.

The doctors they say I am taking the stupid medicine

WolfDaddy, one of the characters in a Margaret Atwood novel (I think it was Cat's Eye) did something similar.

Ah! and thanks to Google:

In the endless time when Cordelia had such power over me, I peeled the skin off my feet. I did it at night, when I was supposed to be sleeping. My feet would be cool and slightly damp, smooth, like the skin of mushrooms. I would begin with the big toes. I would bend my foot up and bite a small opening in the thickest part of the skin, on the bottom, along the outside edge. Then, with my fingernails, which I never bit because why bite something that doesn’t hurt, I would pull the skin off in narrow strips. I would do the same to the other big toe, then to the ball of each foot, the heel of each. I would go down as far as the blood. Nobody but me ever looked at my feet, so nobody knew I was doing it. In the mornings I would pull my socks on, over my peeled feet. It was painful to walk, but not impossible. The pain gave me something definite to think about, something immediate. It was something to hold on to.

crush-onastick: You're thinking of the Ramona books, specifically "Beezus and Ramona". Her mother ended up making applesauce out of the rest of the bitten apples.

That passage influenced how I eat apples too. I hold them so the stem faces right, then find the best looking part and take a big bite out of the middle of it. Then a bite out of the adjacent stem-end side, then out of the adjacent bottom-end side (so I've got a strip of white going from the stem to the base). Then I start in the middle at the edge of the first bit and eat around the rest of the apple, rotating it towards me, then eat around the stem end (rotating the same way and starting from the second bite), then eat around the base end (ditto). Then I clean up any particularly appley bits that are left.

She's wrong, by the way. The first bite is good, but the bottom side of the apple is awesome.

I'm left-handed.

I try to avoid stepping on cracks in pavement at all cost.

I'm almost certain I don't have a clue about the weirdest thing I do. Whatever it is, I no doubt just do it and think it's normal. I can tell you a quirk I've noticed:

When a character on a TV show or in a movie is served cake, I announce* "They have cake."

The gist of this comment, every single time: I would also like some cake, please.

*I only do this when my partner and I are watching alone together, or when I'm alone. Yes. If I'm alone, I announce it to the empty room.

I also argue while I wash dishes, but only if I'm alone in the apartment. I construct impassioned harangues and breathe them out sotto voce while I scrub at the pots & pans. I'll pick a fight with anyone: my lawyer, a prof, a friend, a family member, Dick Cheney, anyone.

I'm almost certain I don't have a clue about the weirdest thing I do. Whatever it is, I no doubt just do it and think it's normal.

True, that.

I always cut fruit open before I eat it and remove the core. If I'm at home, I use a melon baller to do this. I hate it if I have to eat an apple or pear without doing this.

While sweeping or performing another mundane task I'll think of an embarrassing or sad moment and let out a little whimper or cry. Or talk to myself, and say something like, "what an asshole" or, "oh god."

I do this, too. A lot. Particularly in the car or when I'm falling asleep. I'm always afraid someone will catch me muttering, so sometimes I'll just blurt out, "I love you!" to my husband or kids because I need to verbalize something to pull myself out of my head and back into the world.

I'm sure there's something diagnosable in all that.

I just realized that, due to that last Google search, I've had the phrase "cat's eye skin feet" in my search bar for the past hour or so.

That's weird.

I talk to myself. All the time. At home I justify this by pretending I'm talking to the dogs, but then that doesn't work when I'm in the car or at work. I also apologize to inanimate objects when I bump into them - in fact, I relentlessly anthropomorphize everything around me, even going so far as to call my car cute names, speak encouragingly to it and pat it on the steering wheel whenever it's done something particularly clever. I've been known to carry on lengthy conversations with the toaster oven, the sofa and, naturally, the computer. An ex of mine once said that I was rapidly turning into one of those old ladies who walk around all day muttering to themselves and that frankly, it gave him the creeps. Now he's long gone; yeah, I mutter to myself all day long and I have decided that the only creepy thing around here was him.

Wow, occiblu, that passage ... just wow. I don't bite, however.

I have to make sure the water faucets are off, and that the refrigerator is tightly closed. Then push to make sure, in even numbered pairs, i.e. twice or four times or six times, but never three or five.

I don't bite, however.

Some wolf you are! :-)

I tuck my undershirt into my boxers. Just started doing it too.

...myself.

Awesome, fuzzbean! I told said Ex that no-one is so weird that what she does is unheard of in the world and you've proven it. I win! In your face, space coyote!

I yell at the radio. A lot. I also yell at other drivers, although I try not to do this when other people are in the car.

If I have to do something particularly tricky in the car (like stop suddenly, or cut across three lanes of traffic in less than 100 feet, or something), I will pat the car dashboard after I'm done and thank the car for doing it safely. Maybe apologize if I squeal the tires.

I eat fruit seeds, up to and including cherry pips but not peach stones, and apple cores. My belly is a veritable orchard.

Wow, occiblu, that passage ... just wow.

God, yes. Great novel.

I have conversations with myself, even in front of other people. I'm sure I get weird looks in the grocery store, etc.

I talk to animals like they're human, but I don't think that's too weird.

I have to touch things like fabrics, flowers, wood, anything that looks like it has an interesting texture. I'm a very tactile person.

I have to fold linens (sheets, towels, etc.) a certain way, but I can blame that on my mum. The linens had to be folded her way or the whole cupboard would be emptied into a pile and I'd have to refold the whole bunch. Although my mum doesn't have that kind of influence on my any more, I still have to fold stuff her way.

I can't think of anything else. I'll have to ask the mister if he's noticed anything odd.

I'm left-handed.
Given that you consider that weird, you are clearly either not actually left-handed, or have forfeited the right to belong to that exclusive club and should be ashamed of yourself ;-)

I'm not sure what the weirdest thing I do is, there are so many to choose from. Like hadjiboy, things I do regularly have to be done in a certain order or I feel uncomfortable. I sometimes make up sentences as I'm walking and the sentence needs to end as I am turning a corner or stepping up a kerb. Not so much anymore, though. OCD anyone?

Many food-related items:

1) As a general rule, I don't like things on things. Condiments, for example, or butter on corn, or cheese on a burger. Lettuce, however, is acceptable, and BBQ sauce on rare occasions.

2) For any candy bar consisting of a chocolate covering over a core that does not include caramel (e.g. Kit Kat, 3 Musketeers), I will eat the outside chocolate first and the core last. This rule also applies to Oreos, which is interesting to watch.

3) If an item such as candy or cereal consists of many parts of differing colors, and the number of colors is greater than two (e.g. Dots, Good 'n' Fruity), I will sort the parts by color first and eat them in turn, usually ending in green (if present).

3a) If there are mixed candy and non-candy pieces (e.g., Lucky Charms), I will always eat the non-candy pieces first.

3b) If the number of colors is limited to two (e.g. Good 'n' Plenty, mixed almond and raisin packets), I will again sort the parts by color, but eat them in equal numbers of each part, alternating between colors.

4) I will always unroll a Swiss Roll first. Always.

I regularly ignore the phone for days on end, saying "I am not on speaking terms with the Universe." My friends are used to it now, but it used to either freak them out (picturing me dead on the floor, my eyeballs eaten by my cats) or piss them off. Now they just call it 'radio silence' and know I'll call them back when I'm ready.

When I'm doing high ladder work, I often catch myself singing the "Modern Major General" song from The Pirates of Penzance. Unfortunately, having never actually seen said production, I only know a few of the lines, so I'll fill in the rest with 'something something something'.

I agree with Elsa, though--I'm sure I do waaay weirder things and think nothing of them.

I will always unroll a Swiss Roll first. Always.
Word.

I snort when I laugh. It used to only be when I was laughing really hard, but I seem to do it more and more these days.

When someone brings me some paperwork to work on, the first thing I do is take out all the staples (it could be three or 30), square up the pile and insert one neatly-placed staple. If the issue I'm working on requires discussing at the time they give it to me, I often start pulling staples before they leave my desk. I don't think they all know how to react.

I twirl my hair, a thick strand at the back of my head, sometimes to the point of giving myself a headache. Only when I'm home, though. Not in "public," so to speak (yet).

I also knock four times on my head (my "wooden" head) whenever I or someone else hopes for something good for themselves or someone else, so we don't "jinx" it (my one and only remaining superstition, stemming from the Jewish notion of the "evil eye," I think. I'd say it in yiddish, but I don't know how to spell it... something like, "kein hora.")

I also talk to my dead parents and think they're saying hello to me with various signals, like when I see the number "714" somewhere, like the time on the clock (my birthday), or hummingbirds or silver shoes, that's all my mom, while a silver car or the smell of a cigar, that's my dad. Strange, for an atheist/humanist, I should say.

I did much weirder things when I was a kid. (You don't wanna know.)

Ha! I do the 'wooden head' knocking thing, too, if I can't find wood to knock on (only twice rather than four times). Got the wood-knocking habit from my English gran, though she would never have done anything so crass as to knock on her own head.

I also do the 'wooden head knock' thing! Shoot, I share a lot of weirdness with many of you, so we're not alone!

I chew on my fingers, especially under stress. The cuticles, the pads themselves, constantly picking at them. If they get wet, it looks horrendous. I also pick at scabs. My head will be screaming at me to stop because I'll scar, but I can't help it.

I lick my ice cream bowl after I finish. I simply cannot leave any smears in the bowl.

If I'm walking through a cemetery, I apologize for possible stepping on anyone.

I talk to my car, and I pat it like a pet, too.

At work, I will read aloud any intersting/funny/strange to anyone else in the break room. Even complete strangers. They're so used to it, they kid me that they don't need to buy a paper - I give them all the news they need.

Geez... "interesting/funny/strange stories..." I'm also not good at proofreading.

All of the newspapers around me must be folded one their original creases. If you don't fold them on their original creases, they take up more space and are more difficult to read in the future and just plain look messy. I lost a good friend over this once. I've let go of it to a great extent since then, but it's still a personal rule for myself.

Whenever I read a word or a phrase (a sign, a title, a name, etc) I have to find the middle letters of each word and the phrase as a whole and then make a new word out of those those. Bonus points if I only have to add vowels to get my new word.

Whenever I see a number (licence plate, phone number, street address, etc), I add all the digits together (add only, not multiply/divide/etc). If the digits add together to create a multiple of five, I feel at peace. If they create some awful number like 53, I am a little agitated and annoyed for a while.

I used to have a lot more "order" rules (all the items on a dinner table had to be perfectly aligned, etc) when I was in high school and college, but I've made a definite effort to let a lot of them go.