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02 October 2007

What do you guys do when you have to go to the toilet at office? →[More:]Do you hold it, or do you just go? How are the toilets where you work?

The place where I'm working at right now, is a very low-key operation, run from the owners' home, and the toilet is this really small room (about 2 feet wide and 4 feet long), and the worst part is there's no hook to hang your pant on (it's an Indian Toilet), so you can't really sit on it with your pants dropped down to your ankles, at least I can't, and so I have to take off my pant, fold it, and then hold inbetween my chin and chest, and then sit on the toilet.

It was hard the first time, but I'm sort of getting used to it. Boy do I miss the glorious cubicles we had at GE.
post by: hadjiboy at: 21:28 | 37 comments
This is where working from home comes in handy, for so many reasons.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero 02 October | 21:34
The bathroom on our floor at work is nicer than my bathroom at home. There's a dressing room with a couple lockers and a shower. There's mouthwash and toothpaste and q-tips. Sometimes there are hand towels, but those seem to get used up quickly and don't reappear until the following week.

So, yeah, sometimes I hold it until I get to work.
posted by mullacc 02 October | 21:39
Go to the bathroom downstairs. I work at home for the most part. When I'm not working at home I use the bathrooms at various comedy clubs - which are actually pretty okay as far as public bathrooms go...although, it probably helps that I show up before these clubs open and leave after they close so I may be seeing the best sides of the bathroom situation.
posted by fluffy battle kitten 02 October | 22:06
Well, I live in a shed and we have a Super Loo, so I try to hold it until I get to work, if anything.
posted by dg 02 October | 22:33
Our restrooms are pretty nice. People bring in old magazines and stuff. Although, since we're an engineering firm, half the magazines are "O" or "Vogue", and the other half are "Popular Mechanics" and "Aerospace Today".

The soap in the dispensers smells really bad, though, and dries out my hands. I really don't like washing my hands in those bathrooms.
posted by muddgirl 02 October | 22:44
Ours are functional. Three small cubicles and one larger wheelchair-accessible one for the women on each floor. I expect the men's is similar, but maybe with one or two less cubicles so there's space for urinals, but I've never been in so I couldn't say.

The women's space is poorly designed so if there are people washing their hands and the end cubicle is free it's a squeeze to get past. But they're very clean, and I give kudos to the people whose job it is to keep them that way.

A couple of years back there was a phantom shit flinger in the women's toilets and it got to the point where Facilities had to send an email round the building saying, look, we know this wasn't an isolated incident of someone having a horrible stomach upset, because it keeps happening, and if we catch you, you're in trouble. It stopped for a while, then started again, and has now stopped, I hope, for good. Those minimum wage cleaners should not have to deal with that.
posted by essexjan 03 October | 03:21
[I'm not sure I want you to elaborate on the term 'random shit finger']

I'm lucky, because we have a downstairs loo which everyone uses for doing a grumpy.
posted by chuckdarwin 03 October | 04:11
The toilets where I work are of the functional cubicle variety, but are generally very clean & I'm perfectly happy to use them.
posted by misteraitch 03 October | 05:21
It was 'fLinger' not 'finger', chuckd. Someone was throwing it around.
posted by essexjan 03 October | 05:22
Someone was throwing it around.

Oh, Jesus. That's what I get for trying to read before 0900.

Imagine that; a scat freak in the office!
posted by chuckdarwin 03 October | 05:27
Before 9am? Wasn't it after 10am your comment was posted? Or are you in Ireland?
posted by essexjan 03 October | 05:35
posted by chuckdarwin 03 October | 04:11

What's that in GMT?
posted by chuckdarwin 03 October | 05:36
I didn't post my comment until 9.21am, so you couldn't have read it before 9am.
posted by essexjan 03 October | 05:37
See, I don't even know what time it is. Pitiful.

4:11 must mean 10:11 to me.
posted by chuckdarwin 03 October | 05:38
Does anybody really know what time it is?

Well, I do. It's 8.47 P fucking M and I'm still at work.
posted by dg 03 October | 05:48
Oi, it's the same time in Ireland as in the UK, EJ!
posted by Wilder 03 October | 06:59
I blow dirt as often as possible at work. It's a bathroom I don't have to clean. Not that I make it particularly dirty (except for the water in the toilet bowl; that gets pretty dirty indeed). Plus if I get the right stall I get the extra-tall toilet, which is a real joy. Not only do I know I'm sitting on a higher throne than the guy in the stall next to me -- I'm king for a day -- but the elevation puts me in the proper position and I pass like an elephant.

I often bring my Blackberry in with me and play Ka-glom, a Tetris-like game, to take my mind off the shitting. I find I have about thirty percent more output this way, and it forces me to wash my hands before as well as after the crap is done, which is a good habit to have, in general. Cuts the probability that I'll pick my nose with a shitfinger when I get back to my desk, too.
posted by Hugh Janus 03 October | 08:07
I have my own bathroom at work, which is very nice.
posted by iconomy 03 October | 08:12
Cuts the probability that I'll pick my nose with a shitfinger when I get back to my desk, too.

...and we're back to shitfinger.

p.s. Hugh, I like to play backgammon on my SPV M3100 phone PDA thingy when I'm on the pooper.
posted by chuckdarwin 03 October | 08:47
If I ever start a band with jonmc, it'll have to be called shitfinger.
posted by chuckdarwin 03 October | 08:48
i read the opinion section of the local newspaper, which gets me in the mood, since it's full of shit...i usually wait until there are no customers in the store (i work in food service.)

but, in general, i have to be reading something to get anything substantial 'going'...
posted by Schyler523 03 October | 09:00
We have pretty decent restrooms at work - nice size, 3 sinks, 5 stalls, with automatic plastic seat covers and auto flushers that are expertly calibrated. (Unlike many auto flushers, they never flush while you're still sitting there, but they always flush once you get up. It's amazing. (It's the mirrors.))

Anyway, I go when I have to go. As I child I had issues with trying to hold things in and it messed up my insides. Now, for the sake of my GI health, I just do what needs to be done. I'm not one of those folks that needs to sit there for a half hour, which helps. 3 minutes, tops.

I also LOVE the full length mirror in our work restroom. It makes me look taller and skinnier than any other mirror I've ever seen. It's awesome for a confidence boost. I look HAWT today!
posted by misskaz 03 October | 09:09
It doesn't take me much longer to poop than it does to pee, usually. But then I eat a ridiculously healthy diet, so if I had gut problems, I'd worry.
posted by essexjan 03 October | 09:14
but, in general, i have to be reading something to get anything substantial 'going'...

That's why I have a subscription to Science News. The articles are of the perfect length, and it's weekly, so there's usually a new one in the can. I also recommend 2600 Magazine and Church & State (published by an organization called Americans United for Separation of Church and State); these magazines all make for a splendid accompaniment to your journey through the Dung Gate and up into rapture.

Comics are great, too. My brother has the full run of Thriller and a half-dozen Moon Knights to delight the idle crapper. I enjoy Nemesis the Warlock and The Unknown Soldier in my loo at home. Also Eclipse Comics' three-issue run of the psychedelic "Strange Days," from which came Johnny Nemo. Great stuff.
posted by Hugh Janus 03 October | 09:18
As Sherman says in Box Office Poison-

There is nothing as satisfying as a shit on company time.
posted by asok 03 October | 09:33
We have a coed one-seater upstairs here where my office is. After a lot of lobbying by the female staff, a urinal was finally installed. The girls are happier now that they have less overspray to deal with.
posted by danf 03 October | 09:43
I have my own bathroom at work, which is very nice.


Gosh. Are you upper management or something?
posted by danf 03 October | 09:45
I often bring my Blackberry in with me ... and it forces me to wash my hands before

I don't understand why introducing electronics to the process requires a pre-wash.
posted by danostuporstar 03 October | 09:50
No, not at all. Everyone except for the owner and me works on the first floor of the building, and there are bathrooms down there. Being on the second floor, I have my own bathroom in my office, and the business owner has his own in his office. I think originally the building was designed by a married couple who each had their own office and bathroom. His has a shower and separate toilet room. Mine's just a run of the mill powder room.
posted by iconomy 03 October | 09:53
(that was an answer to danf)
posted by iconomy 03 October | 09:54
introducing electronics to the process requires a pre-wash:

I don't trust everyone to wash their hands before handling the doorknob, fixtures, &c., and I don't want to handle my Blackberry, which I hold close to my mouth, ears, and face, with someone else's shit on my hands, so I wash my hands after entering the bathroom but before making poopy.

I also refuse to "let it mellow" in places where people do that, because I don't like the idea of my piss splashing on someone else's ass when they take a shit after me. Likewise, I flush before crapping if it looks like someone else forgot. So what if I use lots of extra water? It's shit we're talking about, not dirty dishes.

I guess it's like brushing your teeth before a meal, but I do that whenever I get the chance, too.
posted by Hugh Janus 03 October | 09:58
Ah, that makes sense.
posted by danostuporstar 03 October | 09:59
Hugh, the mythbusters did an episode about this... only with toothbrushes instead of blackberries.

What they found is very, very, very disturbing.
posted by chuckdarwin 03 October | 11:14
When I worked I didn't have a problem using the office facilities. However, I worked, and was friends, with a woman who would pee at work (or other public toilets) but wouldn't/couldn't poop if she wasn't at home. She would hold it on long car trips, week-long holidays, etc. I don't know how she avoided exploding.
posted by deborah 03 October | 13:32
I'm pretty sure Hugh is really this guy, and iconomy is probably this person.

My work bathroom is small, and adequately clean. No reading material, which I would really like, but there's no place for any.

It's just wrong when a guy swipes the shared daily paper and reads it in the loo, then puts it back. Thankfully, I don't work with that guy any more.

posted by theora55 03 October | 13:38
No, no; I'm here, on the far left:

≡ Click to see image ≡
posted by Hugh Janus 03 October | 13:55
She would hold it on long car trips, week-long holidays, etc. I don't know how she avoided exploding.

I was in Girl Scouts as a young girl. And we once went on a camping trip, at a cabin that only had outhouses, not indoor plumbing. One of the girls that had never been camping before was scared or something of the outhouses, and tried to hold it in - and I mean #1 and #2 - all weekend.

Her bladder finally gave out Sunday morning, and she peed all over the floor in the main room of the cabin, as we were cleaning up to leave. I always felt so, so bad for her.
posted by misskaz 03 October | 16:15
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