Ask Mecha: very long, super long, extra-long boring, rambling question that you don't know the answer to.

Nevertheless, let's talk about it, just because we can. →[More:]

We moved into our apartment April 1. Below us is a very tiny half-basement apartment where an old lady has been living for many, many years. Our apartment is on the ground floor, but actually elevated a bit more - a few steps up, just above her. We have a small back terrace that has stairs that go five steps down to a sweet little courtyard in the back of the house. In addition to the two apartments I've described (ours and hers), there are two more, on the second and third floors.

When we rented the place, the landlady told us the courtyard was shared between all tenants, but in actual fact, the way it works is that the old lady, Vasiliki, (whose back door opens onto the courtyard) uses the courtyard, we have our terrace, and the neighbors above us have their balconies.

That's okay with us; our little terrace overlooks the courtyard, and the lady takes care of the plants and trees down there, but doesn't spend a lot of time outside so we don't feel like we have no privacy to sit on our terrace. Everything fine. She is very sweet and we've had a great relationship with her since we moved in. She often cooks us things, my husband has fixed electrical problems and other things for her in her place, I bring her flowers and honey and fruit - everything happy and hunkydory between us.

But this summer was insanely hot (a mega heat wave that lasted months), and she doesn't have AC, and she's in her mid-to-late-80s, so she has spent all summer with her daughter, and she asked me if I would take care of the courtyard/water the plants while she was away (which she assumed would be a relatively short time). Now I've found out that she's in the hospital, and not expected to survive (cancer). This makes me very sad because we bonded quite a bit in that short time (especially she and I, since my husband was away for work for most of the time), but also... and here, finally, is the question...

I've been taking care of the courtyard since mid-june. Little by little I've done a lot of things that needed doing - getting rid of dead bits, cleaning up behind a lot of the potted plants, trimming back - just lots of things that she couldn't really do because it takes stooping and squatting and reaching and moving things, stuff that would have been hard/impossible for her.

I was sort of biding my time to ask her if she wanted me to do XYZ, because I didn't ever want to seem like I was encroaching on her space. This wasn't simply a tactical thing; I really didn't want her to feel uncomfortable or crowded or ever worried about anything at all. I really like her and miss her.

But I've been taking care of the courtyard for months now, and it's extremely unlikely my neighbor will return. Leaving alone for the moment what will happen to her place if she doesn't (I don't think my landlady will be interested in renting to college kids or most people typically looking for a small space like that), I now feel the urge to add some things, change some things, move some things, re-pot some things that have become too big for their containers, etc. Would you? Should I?

I honestly don't think she's coming back, although I honestly wish she would. I don't want to seem like I'm dancing on her (possible) grave if I "take over" the courtyard. What would you do?