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27 June 2007

I got me a counsellor appointment Friday. What preparation should I do/things should I bring to the appointment?[More:]

Also, please note essexjan's awesome class thread below. I've got a bit cooking for that but it just sounds bitchy so haven't yet posted it.
Mental health counseling? Sorry if you've been over this before.
posted by omiewise 27 June | 13:40
There are wiser, more experienced people here than I am but I would answer like this:

Your butt. In the chair. Period.

And go from there.

Good luck!
posted by danf 27 June | 13:41
It will probably help to think about what you hope to get out of therapy -- that is, kind of have a problem list of "This is what's wrong."

You said it was an assessment/intake thing? They'll probably ask you for a personal and family history, so you might want to be prepared for that. Things like: Your parents' ages, educations levels, employment, and mental health issues; your history (if any) of mental or physical health problems/treatment; contact info for your doctor or other relevant health care professionals; maybe a list of your past significant romantic relationships.

They'll likely ask for an emergency contact person or two, so maybe have names in mind and phone numbers/addresses for them on hand.

If it's through any insurance-type thing, whatever you'd need for that.

I always get nervous at this stage, but it shouldn't actually be very nerve-wracking. They'll likely just want to find out a bit about you and what your problems are so that they can match you with a counselor who fits. You shouldn't have to "prepare," per se.
posted by occhiblu 27 June | 13:44
It appears that it is mental health counseling. In that case, here are my suggestions for how to approach it.
posted by omiewise 27 June | 13:46
That's a great post, omiewise, thanks -- wish I'd read it years ago.
posted by treepour 27 June | 14:06
Yes, omiewise, thanks for posting the link to your comment.

I've had three sessions with a particular therapist, and went to a brand new therapist today. The only reason why I saw another therapist today is because I made the appointment weeks ago, and couldn't get in right away. I thought it would be a good idea to see two therapists and decide on the best fit.

So far, I like them both. I don't know if it is wise to see two therapists at once, so I may stick with one. Both are qualified in my mind, and they both have somewhat different styles. Since I have a little more insight from the first therapist I was able to convey what I think my problem is, or my symptoms, to the second therapist and she was able to get to the heart of the matter more quickly. Whereas with the first therapist I only started to talk at length about my childhood at yesterday's session, which was the the third time seeing this person.

So far I've had a total of four sessions and I have a mixture of hope and sadness. I feel so totally "screwed up" at times, and a longing for things to be better and "optimal" soon. At other times I think my life is functioning just fine. Sometimes I feel depressed that I have wasted so many years not being mentally healthy.

Basically the reason why I am seeking therapy is for self-esteem issues. I feel like my self-esteem sucks. I feel inadequate and unworthy, and do things that I don't want to do in order to please other people. I think I have the Adult Child of an Alcoholic syndrome. I tend to isolate myself in a lot of ways, and my relationship with my husband could be ten times better. This last week I have seen such a dramatic improvement in my interactions with my husband. We're actually treating one another with respect and love, and friendliness. We have never been cruel or mean to one another, but we had this low-level of bickering that dominated the way we communicated. It's probably a defense mechanism on my part. I wouldn't let him love me a lot of the time. I have a guard up.

Another reason why I haven't been on the computer so much is because it became a problem for me. It's another way to isolate myself. Both therapists have suggested that I limit computer time.

What depresses me is that I don't feel normal, which is another symptom of being the child of an alcoholic. I'm not labeling myself, but I think growing up with an alcoholic parent is the cause of my self-esteem issues. There's a lot more that probably contributed, but that could take hours.

I didn't really want to talk about my childhood with the therapists. I wanted to fix what was happening in my life now. I want tools that I can do now to feel better.

I want to have more harmony in my household, I want to feel like myself. I swear, I don't know who I am at times. I have no idea what I like or don't like. I want my children to have self-esteem and confidence, and I don't want to feel inadequate around friends. Is that too much to ask? :)

BtGoG, sorry for spilling my story in your thread. Good for you for seeking help. My advice would to just start talking. I was apprehensive at first, but I find that it was very easy to open up. Yesterday I was crying a great deal and my therapist said that she could see me trying to regain my composure a few times. She said that she "could help me get that out." She said that I was stuck and needed to release all of the pain and negative emotion and she could help me do that. She said she wanted to book a two hour session. My question is, after I get all of this out, how will that help? I've talked about the trauma in my childhood with my husband and sister at length. I don't think I have it pinned inside me. What is she going to to that is so different? I guess we'll see.

Again, BtGoG, sorry for blabbing!
posted by LoriFLA 27 June | 15:17
LoriFLA, sometimes getting your feelings out makes them easier to deal with. That might be what your therapist meant.

Good luck!

Good luck to you, too, Grace! My advice is to bring your willingness to work hard on the changes you want to see. They will be a lot of hard work, but they will be worth it. :)
posted by halonine 27 June | 16:17
thanks guys!

omie, that's a thread I asked a year ago! It is indeed good stuff. I've reread it several times and done some mental preparation, eg the problem list..

cheers!
posted by By the Grace of God 27 June | 17:06
Hah, I hadn't read the actual question for a long time. Best of luck.
posted by omiewise 27 June | 21:53
Hmmm...I had twentysix years of therapy, most of which was "let's find the magic answer to brujita's problems, but we won't take a good hard look at ourselves". At the end, most of it was telling the shrink what had happened to me that week, by then I figured I could get more out of alterantive threrapies: acupuncture, reiki, genuine psychic and astrological reading--by people recommended by the NCGR--not the 800 numbers, homeopathy.YMMV
posted by brujita 28 June | 00:42
Hi By the Grace of God!:)
Long time no see, huh? Well, as far as your question goes, I think the best thing that you can bring to your first doctor’s appointment is an OPEN MIND. Just let go of whatever hesitations or worries you might be having. I remember having some of those myself when I made my first trip, and I almost didn’t make it because of all the fears running through my mind. So don’t fret, take a deep breath, and just feel him/her out this first time. If you like him/her, then you can continue with your therapy, if not—then you can always look for someone new.
Hope you have a good day tomorrow, or is it today?
posted by hadjiboy 28 June | 11:08
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