You're going to need a bigger boat.
no sir, I suppose I don't have anything constructive to add to the conversation

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GET OUT OF THE WATER! GET OUT OF THE WATER!

That's great, Capn. I have a friend who pokes that line into any conversation he can. That and Scheider's bleated, "Now!"

It's amazing, the contrast we get in that movie, between the top-notch Shaw and the barrel-bottom Scheider. I mean, Spielberg fades Scheider out mid-line (scene before the Indianapolis story).

Sometimes that shark he looks right into ya. Right into your eyes. And, you know, the thing about a shark... he's got lifeless eyes. Black eyes. Like a doll's eyes. When he comes at ya, doesn't seem to be living... until he bites ya, and those black eyes roll over white and then... ah then you hear that terrible high-pitched screamin'. The ocean turns red, and despite all the poundin' and the hollerin', they all come in and they... rip you to pieces.

Fuckin' Ahab, wot!

I'll never put on a lifejacket again.

Beer coozy, .38 revolver for the bigguns. A horizon scanning squint. That's it.

Beer coozy

I was going to say, "I don't think that word means what you think it means"...

but it turns out, it does. Huh.

I know what all the words mean taz, that's my fucking cross to bear.

Although the first time I heard that word I winced. Kind of like the time my aunt slapped me because I said my dad was being niggardly.


I have a camouflage beer coozy, it is beyond a doubt the purest platonic essence of redneckery.


Hugh, eat some high seas sashimi for me, screw the chance of getting worms, I once ate some tuna about 10 minutes after it was caught, it was like snorting cocaine...

I would say, if you can, set whatever camera you have up with a polarizing lens filter, and learn how to use it. I have NO idea whether this is possible but you'll end up with better pics.

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When I catch a big shark I'm gonna slit open its belly and sleep in it, use its liver as a pillow, making its shark powers my own for all time.

I sleep in a shark.

D_W, your aunt slapped you?

That's it, she's going right on my No-Coozy list. Bitch is going to have to drink warm beer, whenever she's in Greece. At my house.

She slapped me with her big knuckled Swedish farmer hand. I got over it though, shit is rough all over. I deny her cold beer as well, thanks for the solidarity.

I'm picking up the camera today or tomorrow, it's some kind of Canon digital SLR, maybe EOS? I'm gonna take it through its paces over the weekend (O weather, play nice with me) and see what I need for it. I'll probably have more camera-specific questions next week. But I think it does take a polarizing filter, and it may already have one (my friend who's funding the trip is also supplying the camera).

Yo, Deevie, ya awnt a Giant in da Erf, hawww!

That is great Hugh. You need to turn it so that the glare is cut out. If it's an SLR, perfect. It REALLY makes a difference.

My mom has caught a marlin each of her last two trips to Cancun. So, try to be like my mom.

Hugh, seek inspiration here, as an added bonus I believe you understand whatever bog latin it is that the Japanese use to converse.

The Nipponese yammers away in gobbledygook; he can teach us a thing or two about trout tickling, though, and he is well nigh as fierce as the Hottentot.

A hat, Hugh. You're gonna need a hat. As light complected as you are, the top of your head will burn and you'll get skin cancer and your brain will boil and you'll lose teh funny and we don't want that.

Seriously, wear a hat.

Preferably one of those hats that holds two beers.

That's great, thanks, deborah, I probably would've forgotten one and burned my head to cinders. Seriously, good lookin' out. I should get sunglesses, too, even though I hate wearing 'em.

They have those deluxe fishing chairs on the boat, with holders for four or five beers at once, I can have my porter pour beer down my throat when I'm reeling in the big ones. Plus you have to turn beer upside-down in those hats, and upside-down beer tastes like urine.

Plus you have to turn beer upside-down in those hats

Oh no, don't rule out the hat. It provides UV protection and a tasty beverage at the same time. Never speak ill of the hat.

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Does the hat come with that goon?

My boss just stopped by and said, "Is that your invention?"

The goon? Dude doesn't know what a beer hat is? How'd he get to be boss? Is that not on the test?

That's classy, Otis. Nice find.

Sunglasses are good too. Glare can be intense coming off the ocean on a sunny day.

Hat, sunglasses, and the highest SPF you can find. I'm olive-skinned and rarely burn, but it's shocking how fast I fry when I'm out on the boat; I usually use SPF 60 and I bring the bottle with me for reapplications. Any hats, glasses or equipment are best fastened securely so that they don't blow away as the boat is speeding from the pier to your fishing spot.

Have you ever been game-fishing before? If not, the basic difference is to compensate for the larger size of the fish - when you get a bite, you don't want to immediately wind the line in. Once you've hooked the fish, the thing to do is to get into a pattern of letting it run with the line (this tires the fish out) and reeling in the slack. Lather, rinse, repeat.

As a girl who's usually out on toilet-free boats for 8 hours, I try not to drink too many fluids. Obviously not a problem for you, so bring lots of water and snacks. And have fun - sitting here in NYC, I'm wildly jealous!