MetaChat - Persnickety people and their precious patronyms.

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21 June 2007

Persnickety people and their precious patronyms. →[More:]I just got off the phone with a customer who's last name was Gray. When I asked if it was spelled with an 'A' or an 'E', she got all snippy and spat back: "'A'. It's always spelled with an 'A'.", an assertion which, though firmly stated, is quite obviously false.

I don't understand people who get a bug up their ass about strangers getting their names right. I have a German surname, and consequently people are always misspelling or mispronouncing it. I don't take it as a personal affront, and I rarely even correct them on it, unless it's being entered on an official document. It's really just not that big a deal to me.

How protective are you of your name?

post by: Atom Eyes at: 12:17 | 35 comments

The last fool to misspell my name is lying in an unmarked grave.

posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson 21 June | 12:25

'cause kittens can't spell for shit.

posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson 21 June | 12:26

It's always spelled with an 'A'.", an assertion which, though firmly stated, is quite obviously false.

Well, I suppose you could think of it as, her last name is certainly always spelled with an A. But there was also certainly no way for you to be aware of that. :-)

My last name is Polish, and while, unlike many Polish names, it does follow a pattern of consonants interspersed regularly by vowels and is only five letters long, I think maybe only three people in my entire life have pronounced it correctly on the first try. I never give it out without also spelling it, and I tend not to give it to receptionists or casual "Nice to meet you"s because, paradoxically, it's so short that it takes them so long to decipher it -- they keep trying to parse the two syllables as other more common names.

Anyway. None of it particularly bothers me, let alone offends me.

posted by occhiblu 21 June | 12:29

My last name is a bitch to spell (anyone here who as gotten email from me can attest, maybe). It's rare that anyone ever gets it right.

posted by danf 21 June | 12:31

I hear ya, Adam Ize. I hardly use the phone at work, but on the rare occasion that I take a call from a customer and I ask them their name, they'll say...Tiffany, for example. I'll say is that t-i-f-f-a-n-y? And they'll be like....no, duh...it's t-i-p-h-a-n-i-e, with an annoyed resignation in their voice, like they can't believe I didn't know how to spell their name. It happens ALL the time, men and woman. It's like no one realizes there's more than one way to spell their name, even if they have a bizarre spelling of it. The other day a woman who called herself Katherine called, and I asked how to spell her name, and she got so pissed. It ended up being c-a-t-h-a-h-r-y-n. So, you know....it was my fault for not knowing that. Alicias, Jeffreys and Katelyns are the best.

posted by iconomy 21 June | 12:33

Har, you should have asked her to spell "patronyms"...huh?

Yes, some folks are just willing to vent their life frustrations on everyone else. Guess you were the unfortunate easy target of the moment. I'll say an apology for her...I always feel bad for the cashier when the person in front of me in line is a jerk...

And, I started out with a surname that was frequently misspelled, so, meh, even if it's mispronounced, meh...

posted by mightshould 21 June | 12:35

The last fool to misspell my name is lying in an unmarked grave.

'cause kittens can't spell for shit.

≡ Click to see image ≡

posted by Atom Eyes 21 June | 12:38

For me the trouble is people who jump to phonetic conclusions despite my efforts to help them. "My-last-name-is-Ptolemy-spelled-P-T-O-L..." as they storm off to search through the 'T' bins. Dolts.

posted by Joe Invisible 21 June | 12:47

Sometimes people ask it's tree- p-o-o-r, p-o-r-e, or p-o-u-r. Can you believe that? God, that really gets under my skin.

(Just kidding!)

posted by treepour 21 June | 12:48

I'm not really a stickler for it, and my name gets misspelled all the time (people habitually change my final 'o' to an 'a'). But what I've recently come to realize, as I give talks and attend conferences, etc, in a professional capacity, is that when people search Google to see the things I've done, including publications, they're not likely to find those where my name has been misspelled. I think I have to start insisting a bit more.

But in general, no, I don't really understand that angst.

posted by omiewise 21 June | 12:52

Hee. Treepore. Is that where the sap comes out?

posted by occhiblu 21 June | 12:53

Heh. I just talked to a woman on the phone and I needed to ask her about a letter she sent. I asked her how she had signed it and she said it was from the Wilsons. I said so that's w-i-l-s-o-n-s? And she said...um, no....it's w-i-l-s-o-n apostrophe s.

I just said uh-huh and typed it in the right way.

posted by iconomy 21 June | 12:57

After I was divorced I kept my married name because my previous name was so difficult for anyone to 'get', especially over the phone. It ends with an 's', and I remember once spelling it out, ending with 's'. "Did you say 'f'?" "No, 's' for sugar". So a letter arrived addressed to Jan Sugar.

My married (divorced) surname scans much better, I'm known by it professionally and I have no sentimental connection to my blood family so it makes no odds to me that I don't bear that name any more.

'Course, when it's changed to 'Jan Clooney' you will all read about it in the news :-)

posted by essexjan 21 June | 12:59

I said so that's w-i-l-s-o-n-s? And she said...um, no....it's w-i-l-s-o-n apostrophe s.

Was that person, perchance, a grocery store manager?

posted by Atom Eyes 21 June | 13:04

People on Metafilter are always addressing me as "miss lynster" so I've learned to just let it go with a smile. Bugged me at first, but I figure there are worse things people could be calling me.

posted by miss lynnster 21 June | 13:23

I once considered getting a personalized license plate that said "2TS NOH". That's Wittler with 2 t's and NO h.

For a while I even had trouble with people misspelling "Wendell" with an a where the second e goes... I blame the Arrested Development hip-hop group for that (not the TV show - another confusion).

And my 'other' name: well, I've received as much physical mail for Greg as I have for Craig, so I don't know which one it is anymore. (But everyone on the MetaFram mailing list has seen it so it's no longer a secret)

posted by wendell 21 June | 13:26

Cute, Atom Eyes. You win - I'll kill the puppy, instead.

posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson 21 June | 13:34

I always spell out my last time saying "that's Carey, C*A*R*E*Y"

People usually follow that up with "oh, like Jim Carrey?"

And I always think, "no, he has an extra r, one r like Mariah Carey or Drew Carey (who when I'm more rotund, I could look like)."

posted by drezdn 21 June | 13:35

I have five consonants in a row in an eight-letter last name. I spell it for people all the time. Sometimes people laugh in a small-talky sort of way, implying that my peeps should've changed it at Ellis Island to make things easier on Americans of British descent and other congenital idiots.

Here's what I say:

"If you ever run into another person with my last name, you can be sure they're pretty closely related to me. History has made sure that few of us survive. We've been proven again and again to be a danger to autocrats and despots, and the wages of our good work have been the guillotine and the gas chamber. So laugh it up, and remember, my forebears died so that you might one day laugh at their name and memory."

posted by Hugh Janus 21 June | 13:39

I always spell my last name when speaking to someone who has to write it down or look it up. Always.

Until recently, I usually had to spell it twice, because they would listen to me spell, then look it up under the more common spelling, tell me there was no record of me, and then I'd spell it again. It's routine.

A few years ago, I became more fussy in my pronunciation of the name, clearly enunciating the oft-misspelled consonant cluster, which has resulted in fewer misspellings. I don't ask you to pronounce it so carefully, mind you. You can just call me Elsa (which, N.B., is not my name).

posted by Elsa 21 June | 13:58

Good lord, if I was precious about my name I'd be fetal and rocking in the corner of the day room at the asylum. My surname is French, and has a few silent letters and sounds nothing like it is spelled, and not one person, ever, has spelled it correctly the first time.

I am totally not protective of my name.

posted by goo 21 June | 14:08

I'm sorry you have to put up with such sniggering twits in real life, Hugh. Rest assured, no such japery at the expense of your good name will occur here at MetaChat.

Besides, what kind of motherless fiend could so much as titter at the quiet dignity of the name "Hugh Janus"?

posted by Atom Eyes 21 June | 14:14

Mine's a typically New World-ish misspelling of a fairly common Scottish surname, so when I help people with the spelling, I tell 'em it's OK that they had to ask -- it's misspelled to start with.

posted by PaxDigita 21 June | 14:16

I once considered getting a personalized license plate that said "2TS NOH". That's Wittler with 2 t's and NO h.

Great idea. I'll get "NoP" - That's T-h-o-m-s-o-n. No P. Cross out that P that I just saw you write. Well, it's a very common spelling in Scotland.

posted by muddgirl 21 June | 14:19

Mine's German and it's never either pronounced or spelled correctly. I go through the "C - H - T" and people immediately spell back "T - C - H". At least I can do the "rhymes with 'doctor'" trick to lessen the verbal mangling.

I've also given up on trying to get people to spell my first name with the appropriate "H" on the end.

In short, I respond to anything that roughly resembles my name and most things that don't, too.

posted by Fuzzbean 21 June | 14:34

I'm fairly protective of my first name. There are several ways to spell it and people tend to get it wrong. I usually make a joke about it being the "long version".

My last name is easy. Most people ask "is that with or without the E on the end". It's with the E, thankyouverymuch!

posted by deborah 21 June | 14:52

Yeah, I really hate it when I have to tell people repeatedly that Eric is ALWAYS spelled E-R-Y-K. With an umlaut in there somewhere.

And a cedilla.

Maybe a little star over the middle of the four letters...

...AND AN EXCLAMATION POINT! AT THE END!

posted by WolfDaddy 21 June | 15:18

My first name traditionally comes with an "h" on the end, which I don't use -- even though it's actually on my birth certificate! So when people spell my name with or without the H, it's not technically wrong either way. I definitely don't ever get snippy about it, but I am mildly bugged when people who've known me for YEARS keep spelling it with the H, though, even when they've seen my name in print, in email, etc. without it.

My last name frequently prompts people to joke "oh, as in Wild Bill?" To which I always say, "nope, no relation to Wild Bill Hickock, why do you ask?"

posted by scody 21 June | 15:19

OK since scody broke the ice talking about her first name. . . .I feel it's time to reveal one of my dark secrets.

My first name, on my birth certificate, and all official documents, the name my parents gave me to go through life with, is "Danny."

This has given me no end to hassle. Yes, I could change it but have never gotten around to it because each individual hassle, such as "please use your given name," etc. is smaller than going through the change.

All my mom can say is that "it seemed like a good idea at the time."

posted by danf 21 June | 15:25

People will always include an L in my first name (Renato), just because it kind of looks like a hispanic name (Ronaldo, for which the etymology is actually completely different). Pronouncing it Ren-AH-toe, very distinctly, or sometimes even spelling it, have no effect. If it isn't anything important, I just leave it in whatever way ppl spelled it. If I'm in a lazy day, I'll just tell people my name is "Ryan" or "Ray", and save some time.

Also, everyone will pronounce the "ou" in my last name as "oo", and it has a preposition (which I don't like, but since everyone thinks it's part of my last name, I have to use)

And no, I don't expect anyone to know how to spell or pronounce my name. It actually sounds very weird when I hear someone pronouncing my name correctly in an English sentence.

posted by qvantamon 21 June | 15:28

My first name is 'Jan'. Not 'Janet', not 'Janice' but 'Jan'. Although for my first few years I grew up thinking my name was "Don't".

posted by essexjan 21 June | 16:22

One would think that a name I share with a former Republican president would be easy to spell. And pronounce. But NOOO.

Reagan, not Regan. Pronounced RAY-gun, not REE-gun.

When receptionists ask, I tell em it's spelled like the former president.

Sometimes I STILL have to spell it.

posted by bunnyfire 21 June | 16:25

bunnyfire, possessed girl in the exorcist trumps former republican president.

posted by qvantamon 21 June | 19:49

Heh. My first word was "don't".

posted by deborah 21 June | 20:05

Bitch couldn't even spell portobello.

posted by Zack_Replica 21 June | 21:18

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