so I know she'd be very resistant to any form of anti-depressant treatment.

It sounds like you have reason to be worried, but I know you can help her make it through.

I do want to point out that psychotherapy works as well as medications for treating depression, and, because of that, last year (or maybe the year before) the British Medical Journal in an editorial suggested that therapy is a more appropriate first line therapy than medications are for depression. There is plenty of hope even if your sister does not want to take medications.

I just spoke to her and she sounds very ill. She thinks she's lost her job (she hasn't, I'm sure of that, and anyway she gets sick pay) and that she'll lose the house. She said the house is a mess (most unlike her) and that there are people coming round from work this evening and they'll think she's filthy, etc. etc.

I told her that she's not thinking straight and to get herself back to the doctor for some treatment.

Omie: she'd wait 3 years for an appointment to see a therapist in the UK under the NHS. I'm sure she'd benefit from it, if she was open to it (which I doubt, because she's never undergone any introspection in her life and is very resistant to any suggestion that the events that have happened in her life might in some way be connected to her own actions or choices).

I think her present state of mind is the delayed reaction to her husband leaving, which she 'dealt with' by partying and going immediately into another relationship. That's always worked for her in the past because the decisions to end her previous marriages have all been hers, and the next man was already lined up ready waiting. But this time she was the one who was left, and it's been a blow to her.

The sad thing is, though, I am trying to do the right thing and be supportive but I really don't like this woman at all and I don't know how far my empathy will stretch, especially if she's not prepared to get some medical help.

Three years to see a therapist?????

Oh, essexjan, what an awful thing to have to deal with. I've already given you my speculation...I wonder if perhaps she has hit bottom well enough to be willing to go for real help now?

And I need to tell you there is only so much you can personally do for her even tho she is your sister. She has to want to be helped, and she has to choose to be helped, and she needs to be able to see she has a problem. All you can do is point her to help and hope she takes it.

*hugs*

BE SURE TO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF NO MATTER WHAT YOU DECIDE TO DO IN RE. SISTER!

She needs a wake up call and it sounds like she's on the phone. It could be what she needs, this false bottom.

Gah, ej!
In the states one can be hospitalized without consent if he or she is an immediate danger to oneself or others. Is that not the case in the UK? That said, what I posted before still stands: From what you've posted here, George's family has been way more that to you than your sister. You DO NOT have to have anything to do with her if you don't want to.

Don't be too pessimistic about NHS waiting times - they vary a huge amount, and it's always worth trying the local service. In Oxfordshire, frinstance, it seems to be 6-12 months for one particular service.

I hope she comes to accept that she needs some help. I can't imagine what it would be like to need to make so many changes, and not to know about it!

I really like what omiewise is saying ej. I have witnessed terrible lapses, relapses and ultimate deterioration from people who medicated before exploring other methods. And your sis sounds like not having tried anything, right?

I think you might want to look up some of her other relatives and friends to help you help her. You certainly do not have to do it all by yourself.

carmina: there are no other relatives and she's alienated her only close friend, who I don't have contact details for anyway.

I'm glad I'm 150 miles away. I'm not close to my sister, I don't like her but I feel obligated towards her.

ej, just what would she expect you to do anyhow?

If it were in the states I'd take her for a mental evaluation, but I've done that for other folks without incurring any real obligation.

DO NOT move her in with you.

And I say that as a compassionate committed Christian.

What ethylene said. I hope it all turns out ok, and maybe when she recovers you will like her!

There is no possibility, bunnyfire, of my ever having her to live with me. Not. A. Chance.

What would she expect me to do? Give her money, for a start. Which I don't have. I budget, don't buy designer this-and-that, and drive a 10-year-old car, so I can have my holidays. She's always had this perception that I'm loaded and nothing I say will change her thinking on that. Anyhow, that's out of the question, especially as, when I was visiting her a month ago, she spent a lot of money buying her boyfriend stuff from the McClaren F1 website.

I am trying to do the right thing and be supportive but I really don't like this woman at all and I don't know how far my empathy will stretch, especially if she's not prepared to get some medical help.
Just don't lose sight of your mission to get yourself fit while you are worrying about her, will you? - we're waiting patiently for those underwear photos ;-)

Essexjan, the WORST thing you could do right now is give her money, probably.

I'm just trying to encourage you. Sometime people just have to stew in their own juices and NOT be rescued, at least, not yet, if you get my meaning.