What's most unsettling about my boss.. is that she'll start screaming but be fine 5 mintutes later. She's so, so tense and just cussing at everything this week. just a longwinded complaint, avoid if you don't want bummer-ism.→[More:]

It's not at me, so I suppose I need to deal with it. This isn't the kind of job that I want to quit just for emotional stuff. I'm learning a great deal here. I'm just talking about it.. not asking for any help or anything. I know I've brought all this up before. Just typing now, as fast as I can, so all that adrenaline goes somewhere.

I am glad that I am more civilised than she is, that I don't act that way. I would have probably been killed or something if I did. I suppose her fire is admirable, I sure feel mousy. Everyone around her snaps to it and feeds her tea and all.. just on a wire edge.. I am probably the most sensitive person in the office then. And meanwhile I am sick. My nose has been rather raw and stuffy for a week and my throat is raw.

I am fucking disabled. I have some sort of mystery 2000s disorder I can never remember the name of. Yet I and everyone around me expects me to act as if I was not disabled. I suppose I am very grateful not to be more disabled than I am. Here we are helping the most desperate of people, and I am NOT going to complain about workplace mannerisms in that context. I know just how bad real trouble can be.

I am praying for strength.