Like.... woah.

That's deep.....

Excuse me, is this the way to the unmentionables thread?

Yr spazz sounds rather cute, lfr.

I hear you lfr. Social Anxiety or whatnot. I put off asking for my free tee shirt at the gym for a month. Then I tried, and I went up to the desk, making sure it was not crowded, and said: "I. . . Never Mind."

we can wave the unmentionables around in here dano, if that's how you roll

/pins bloomers to the clothesline

I trip over things that don't exist. This only happens at the worst possible moment.

this is merely one pebble in the landslide of Clueless Spaztastic Shit i do on a semiregular basis. i'm sure it makes me look like more of an asshole than i really am.

Or maybe it might just make you look shy and vulnerable. And very human.

That's another way of framing it.

Gasp! Under all that Gen-X Armor™ lfr is a real live human!

Yeah, what jason's_planet said.

It's no stranger than anything I've done in similar situations.

The only thing worse than engaging in Clueless Spaztastic Shit is remembering the Clueless Spaztastic Shit you've engaged in. I don't know about you, but a single day doesn't go by in which I don't remember some of the Clueless Spasztastic Shit I've engaged in. (Uh,sorry-- "Clueless Spaztastic Shit in which I have engaged. Whatever. Stupid grammar.) As often as not, that Clueless Spaztastic Shit occurred years or even decades ago.

I don't know if there's a lesson here, but, if there is, it's "Don't fucking dwell on that shit. What the fuck is the point?"

Fyi, I don't know what the fucking point is, but that certainly doesn't stop me from dwelling on-- and stewing over-- said Clueless Spaztastic Shit. I apparently suck at moving the fuck on. Don't make the same mistakes I have, kids.

dersins: Hah. I ponder my spastic moments as well--sometimes I can hardly remember anything about a particular event other than that pit-of-the-stomach ache accompanying an awkward moment.

The great thing about living in a huge city and using public transportation is that, if you look for them, you'll see dozens of people doing the same awkward shit you punish yourself for doing. Plenty of fake "Oh shit!"s as someone realizes they're walking the wrong direction, plenty of people taking half a step or more out of an elevator on the wrong floor, plenty of muttering fools who can't decide whether to say something to a stranger or not. Makes you feel better about yourself.

I miss NYC.

My favorite is when someone pulls her phone out of her purse just to turn around.

Once I went to the wrong building for work, at Times Square. On parallel streets, there are two very similar buildings, both owned by the same property management company (so they have the same sign in the window, same uniformed guards, same lobby feel). I followed a flock of suits up to the entrance, and was halfway through the revolving door when I realized I was a block east of where I wanted to be.

So I just kept walking and did a full circuit of the revolving door, waving to the guards as I passed.

hugh that's awesome. wonder how many times/day the guards (in both buildings!) see this?

yay, jason's_planet! i was just wondering if you were around or busy, since i've not seen you posting much on mefi lately.

see, okay i know this stuff is totally minor in the Grand Scheme, and i appreciate the reassurance. here's the rub tho. i am *such* a space cadet. 90% of the time i'm in a complete fog - this is partly why i ride a fixed gear in the city; it FORCES me to pay attention so that i don't space out and die under someone's front bumper. i mean i've tried all sorts of things to be more observant.

my maternal grandmother was one of the most elegant and gracious people i've ever seen, tho sadly she died when i was an early teen and i didn't get to know her as well as i'd have liked. i've never met anyone with more social skill, then or since. i wish i had inherited some of it, cos she ruled at conversation, entertaining, haberdashery, etiquette, elegant and/or fun party flair, mixology, cuisine and overall awesomeness. partly because she needed to; grandpa was a highly ranked East Coast steel executive, and back in those days those dudes did some serious entertaining; gramma was kind of a combo of Grace Kelly, Jackie Kennedy and a top notch geisha all rolled into one. i loved her and she adored ALL her grandchildren, but jesus that branch of the family made me feel like a barefoot hillbilly.

and the thing is, she was a genuinely shy person too; she'd just somehow learned the knack of being utterly serene about it.

Oh, god, the amount of Clueless Spaztastic Shit I've committed, and even worse, the amount of time I've spent agonizing over C.S.S. past (A la recherche du Clueless Spaztastic Shit perdu, as it were). One thing that really helps sometimes is to remember that everyone else is paying far, FAR more attention to themselves and their own feelings/worries/sense of social inadequacy, than to any spazzy shit I might be committing.

I think you're totally on to something with the fixed-gear lesson of turning attention outward rather than inward (it *is* hard to do for some of us and takes practice). Your grandmother sounds like a tough role model to live up to, but your final sentence about her makes me think that it took practice for her too to become the person she made herself into, and that as socially gracious as she was late in life, in her younger years she might have had as much mental fog as you.

I trip over things that don't exist. This only happens at the worst possible moment.

WolfDaddy are you sure those aren't the flayed souls of your adversaries?

just kidding dude, i do that too...

"...the flayed souls of your adversaries..."

Oh, I like that. Makes me feel so much better since I also do the same thing, and other goofups as well. I kept thinking I would have poise and grace once I was a grownup. Well, I'm forty...where is it?

whoa. you ride a fixed-gear? cool.