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11 April 2007

drezdn's crazy business ideas #5: The Oscar Wilde Adventure Squad [More:]This was an idea I had for a comic book, or adult swim style animated show. In 1899, Oscar Wilde didn't die, instead he was brought into a special government program that replaced his skeleton with one of coke steel making him stronger than ten men. He was then made a special agent of crown and recruited a team of specially trained British writers from the 19th Century to fight evil.

An accident on a mission leads to Oscar retreating to Alaska where he fights bears. But! a great threat in India causes the government to bring him back home and to form a new team.

Using a time machine developed by H.G. Wells, Wilde collects the authors and heads out on their mission.

The members
Charles Dickens: Trained as a ninja during his life on the street, also a dirty old man

Mary Shelley: Master of espionage, and total goth babe.

Rudyard Kipling: Weapons expert and racist

H.G. Wells: science officer, explosives expert and socialist

And to handle their vehicles, they have french attache, Jules Verne, who oversees their transportation including a steam-powered battletech style mech.

Together they travel to India to discover that the evil Saki, in conjunction with the Bronte sisters (also ninjas), are attempting to unleash a device that will spread doom across the land.

At first the heroes get captured by Saki, with Oscar Wilde having to pick between the lady or the tiger, considering either a mistake. Dickens fights the Bronte sisters. Maybe I could work in Joseph Conrad somehow. You get the picture.

The fights delay them long enough for Saki to make his way for an escape, but then a sniper shoots him. But no, he isn't dead, it turns out the Saki they were fighting was actually an automaton controlled by two trained monkeys. There's a note telling them that Saki has already set his nefarious plan into motion.

The sniper was none other John Milton, the last surviving member of the William Blake's Action Unit, who had been camped out for months after their defeat, waiting for the perfect shot.

The idea is that it would sort of be a stand-alone parody of The League of Extraordinary Gentleman, but very poorly researched (ie. nothing beyond looking at their wikipedia entries and things I already know, or think I know). There could even be an American spin off team lead by Mark Twain.
If you were to form your own elite group of writer's tasked with protecting their nation from villainy, who would it be and what would there specialty be?
posted by drezdn 11 April | 09:10
It seems obvious to me that you'd need Thucydides, Xenophon, Chaucer and Hunter S. Thompson.
posted by warbaby 11 April | 09:28
Y'know, this would actually be fun to develop. I guess the downside is that even parodizing the League would invite comparison, so it'd require absolute A-game not to look bad.

Reminds me a little of Matt Fraction's Five Fists of Science, where Mark Twain and Nikola Tesla team up to end war.
posted by cobra! 11 April | 09:48
That's the A-Team, warbaby?
posted by GeckoDundee 11 April | 09:49
If you've got a time machine, you might as well put it to good use.

Xenophon wrote a hell of a good script for this adventure movie.

FWIW, Thucydides and Xenophon are two of the earliest surviving prose writers in Western culture. And relevant to the current situation: mercenary army lost in Mess-o-Potamia with no clear way home; republic imploding by over-reaching to empire.

posted by warbaby 11 April | 10:17
and of course, you'd have to do all the design and illustration all steampunk gothy style. mmmm, shades of jonny depp in 'sleepy hollow' o yea.
posted by lonefrontranger 11 April | 10:41
This does sound fun, though I do see the whole possible comparison to LoEG thing.

But were you thinking of doing it all serious like LoEG? Because the mentioning of a time machine and all that also makes me think of Tales from the Bully Pulpit, which had a more nonsensical, madcap adventures feel to it ("Bully!!").
posted by kkokkodalk 11 April | 11:02
I was thinking more madcap, but now I'll have to figure out a new source for the Time Machine. Wait, wait, I got it. They stole the time machine that Twain used to write "Connecticut Yankee."
posted by drezdn 11 April | 11:14
All your ideas have been hits so far, drezdn. I think you have a future.
posted by mudpuppie 11 April | 14:16
You could attack the LOEG issue head-on (especially since they are all literary characters who have fallen into the Public Domain, right?) by pitting the Oscar Wilde Action Team (OWAT!) against a League-gone-bad of fictional characters come to life (at least for one Adventure). Satirical Steampunk seems a wide-open genre to me (I thought The Amazing Screw-On Head took itself too seriously). Classic authors who most people have a superficial knowledge of are a great starting point; with a time-machine gimmick, you can go from "The Ancients" (Thucydides! Xenophon! And a Homer with an odd resemblance to the contemporary character by that name) to modern-day writers (hey, Stephen King and Dave Barry play together in a part-time rock band - what could you do that's sillier than THAT?) Go back to where Shakespeare and Bacon fight crime together and constantly bicker over whether they're partners or Shakes is Bacon's sidekick.

Considering how many good potential characters there are, I don't know if having Wilde as central is a good idea. I'd prefer to call the team something like "The Book-Men" (ala X-Men) with a Professor-X-type ("Dewey Decimal"?) That's my 4-cents worth.

Ooooh, one more wacky idea: have them fight a modern-day anti-book group called "The Directors Guild", including Speilberg, Lucas, Peter Jackson, Joss Whedon and, of course, Uwe Boll.
posted by wendell 11 April | 18:01
three point status update! || March of the Martians

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