OMG, I'm freaking out. Shit shit shit. →[More:]This is not happening.

I had to call a plumber to come get the tree roots out of my main line today. He showed up around 10 and started digging to find the access point so he could rout out the line. After he's digging for a while he yells for me and I go to the door to see what's up, figuring he needed me to start running water through the line.

Plumber says "There's bones here. Did you bury a dog or something?"

Me: "No, must have been a previous tenant. Can you get there without disturbing them? If someone buried a dog there, I'd rather leave it alone."

Plumber: "Uh, miss, it kind of looks like a foot. Come see."

I go to look, and it's a fucking foot. We both stared at it for what felt like 5 minutes, and I finally said, "Shit, what do I do? I guess I should probably call the police."

He said, "Wait, let me call Steve first."

I said, "Who's Steve?"

He said, "My boss. He'll want to know for the insurance. And man, he'll want to see this!" The dude actually laughed.

Fuck. So I said, No, I'm not waiting, I'm going to call them now. Don't dig anymore. Leave it alone.

So I called 911. I told the operator "Uh, there's a plumber here and he's digging in my back yard and I think he found a foot." She paused. Then she said "A human foot, ma'am?" And I said "Yes, I think so." I think she thought I was kidding, because she asked me a bunch of questions. "Can you describe what it looks like? Is it bare or is there a shoe? Do you see any other bones around it?" I told her it was bare and skeletal and I didn't know what else was around it because I made the plumber stop digging.

So the police showed up about 20 minutes later, look in the hole, and immediately call the Sheriff's Department. The Sheriff's Department arrives about half an hour later. While we're waiting for the sheriff people, two more cop cars show up. One of the police officers starts asking me lots of questions about how long I've lived here, if I live alone, have I always lived alone, etc. I explain that I've lived here for 6-1/2 years and alone for about 5 and that when I first moved here I lived with someone. He asked me if it was a roommate or a boyfriend. "It was my partner," I said. He asked if it ended amicably and I said, "Well, at first, but then it got ugly.

"Where is he now," the cop asked. At this point, I'm like Dude, you're an idiot. But I just said "Uh... it wasn't a guy."

He let that sink in and started asking me where my ex is now. I told him that the last I knew, she moved to SF and that I haven't talked to her in years. This is when the sheriff's officers show up with the fucking CORONER'S VAN. Also, Steve, the plumber's boss shows up, but they made him leave.

My yard backs up to a schoolyard, so this is all kind of publicly visible. The sheriff deputies and the coroner set up a big tarp around the area before they started digging. I guess they have to be real careful, because they've been digging for about an hour and they haven't talked to me again. The cop told me to come inside and stay here until they call me out because they might have more questions, but that they needed me to leave "the scene" and stay inside. I feel nervous even typing this because they're still outside, but it's better than calling someone on the phone. Jesus, I'm shaking.

On preview: I'm not sure how Eideteker feels about it.

Fucking fuck.