MetaChat - Valentines Day is not over!

Yes! They are a-coming!

posted by viachicago 14 February | 22:50

I'm sending out more too. : )

posted by sisterhavana 14 February | 23:42

Can i use this thread to post the ones i bet no one will see? Or play guessing games?
i have to say i don't think most of mine are very anonymous but then i don't think many of yours are either.
i don't think it should be just for Valentine's day as it is Lupercalia if you need a holiday, but now i am tempted to use it more, except then you'll all know it's me, but maybe i don't care--

Maybe i'll have some coffee.

posted by ethylene 15 February | 05:25

Well, ethylene, I've heard all about your messages that make everyone blush, but mine must have got lost somewhere. Figures.

posted by dg 15 February | 07:15

No one said mine were blush inducing at all.
i just tried to put a little effort into them.
Some people might never know it was me. i have no definite pattern. i'm all wacky like that.
i might not even be done yet but you might have ruined your chances by being so forward about it.
Hmmf.

Maybe people would like so accuse me of sending them the saucy ones. Go right ahead.
Pin the dirty! on the eth.
i'll be honest.

In the meantime, you can read these:

# To: interrobang
Tell your girlfriend to watch out because i am totally willing to beat her ass-- to get at Potato.

# To: Divine Wino
i think i accidentally sent yours to Hugh Janus, or visa versa, what was i saying? Something about you being a big hot hunka man i'd like to rub on my unusually soft girl skin while we're feeding each other fatty pieces of meat and discussing literature in between weed breaks. Good thing the sacred bonds of matrimony repel me like mouse poop jimmies.

# To: Hugh Janus
If only we could finally be together, in person, eyes on eyes, skin on skin, writing, reading, licking, laughing-- no, i'm not just after your weed, why would you say that? Are you ever gonna pass that?

posted by ethylene 15 February | 07:21

All my pornographic genius fallen on deaf ears.
Well, something that fits that description might make me blush.

I didn't mean to appear petulant or begging for your attention - sorry it came off that way a bit.

posted by dg 15 February | 07:42

Oh, it did not, and how do you know i didn't send you one already?

Here are some more:

# To: kellydamnit
Someone should give you a heart freshly liberated from the chest of some unworthy bearer, still bloody and pumping love for you.

# To: BoringPostcards
Your love is lifting me higher-- oh, no, wait, that's the drugs and a fuzzy guy named Omar.

posted by ethylene 15 February | 07:50

i'm not the arbiter of obscene. Obscenity is in the genitals of the beholder, so really i can't call myself pornographic. It's subjective to your arousal threshold.

i bet you didn't send me one.
So there.

posted by ethylene 15 February | 07:55

Now i have totally ruined my ratio. Damn and blast.

# To: scody
You're the best thing that ever happened to m-- whoa hit that note all wrong. Wow, it kinda made my nose hurt. If you don't rake it in for your birthday, i'll bring a rake. None of this lumping holidays booolsheet.
13:03:28 15 February 2007

posted by ethylene 15 February | 08:06

Now, I know that one was you ;-)

And you would bet wrong.

posted by dg 15 February | 08:15

Really? Was it the one made up of obscenities?

posted by ethylene 15 February | 08:17

So, I am stuck in a San Francisco hotel room, with lofty views of the Sausalito and the Coit Tower and the bay, perferct for amorous escapisms, but alas without any. So, to the bunnies, who I adore, I luuurve you all, repeatedly, sweatly and hungrily, very.

to ethylene,

consistent with the traditional absurdity of this Saint's celebration, you, my major crush, are proven all convex and nonprotruding. In my dreams, ethylene, you are a hunky gent from the mid-west. or the north. or the south. That, I am not particular with.

posted by carmina 15 February | 08:24

I'm not that obvious.

posted by dg 15 February | 08:26

i was pretty sure i knew who most of them were from, now i only think i'm sorta sure where less than a few are from.
huh.
Now i don't know what to think but no one really fancies me.

What's with the word 'fancy'?
Fancy him and her and fancy dress balls on one side, fancy schmancy and you think you're so fancy on the other.
Fancy that.
What a weird nancy word.

Um, carmina, i'm sorry to break it to you
but i'm a woman with woman parts
and not from the Midwest United States.

posted by ethylene 15 February | 08:27

dg: was it the one what sounds like it might be from a man who might timidly one day want to have my babies for other than eating?

posted by ethylene 15 February | 08:33

No. At least, I don't think so.

posted by dg 15 February | 08:57

You're not gonna tell me, are you?
i can't be the only one still using it while it works.

posted by ethylene 15 February | 09:04

Now i think it's the same two people sending over and over.

Here's a match pair:

# To: Cinnamon
Dump the man thing. We've got spice girls, and they are fresh. i hear Nutmeg's sweet AND savory.

# To: me3dia
If Cinnamon doesn't mind making room in the spice rack, some people won't mind making you a special rub. *wink* Watch out for Cayenne. She's a bitch on fire.

posted by ethylene 15 February | 09:34

I think I can guess 3 of my valentines. None of em are from you, ethylene. My sent:received ratio is right at 4.5:1. Maybe I'll start sending out random ones to get to Eideteker's 5:1 ratio.

posted by muddgirl 15 February | 10:39

i just started typing in names and writing after i found out it still worked, until i realize most of the people probably weren't doing it or reading them any more. Then i tested it to see if it was still working and burst off a few more each time.
i'll fess up, none of them were me. i didn't start 'til it was the 15th.
And it still is.

i am testing pizza dough and making pointless phone calls.

Goddamn, the snow is bright.

posted by ethylene 15 February | 10:49

Flappity boom boom, i just semi outed myself, didn't i.
poop.

posted by ethylene 15 February | 10:54

chrismear - this might be difficult, and possibly un-community-building, but it would be nice if bunnies who received valentines but never signed up could be emailed at the address in their profile, to let them know that they have one.

Of course, that could be a bad idea, too. Feel free to yell at me, all.

posted by muddgirl 15 February | 11:00

Eh, i say they it's not worth the trouble, but then i was thinking of sending more to people i'm pretty sure will never see them.

posted by ethylene 15 February | 11:03

muddgirl - Technically, that wouldn't be too difficult to do, and I agree it would be a nice thing to do in an ideal world.

However, I think there may be some people who have purposefully not signed up because they've chosen not to participate, and it personally feels like it would be disrespecting that decision if I was to email them about their unread messages.

Also, if I start digging into usernames, I think I'll feel like I'm getting too close to this personal/anonymous data than I should be, and I want to make sure my involvement in this is completely above board and responsible.

posted by chrismear 15 February | 11:11

My sent/received ratio is 20 to 1. Bow to me.

posted by weretable and the undead chairs 15 February | 11:13

Having said all of that, if everyone else says this would be a good thing, I'm happy to oblige. It just feels a bit off to me personally.

posted by chrismear 15 February | 11:25

skewed, though, weretable, since you said you definitely wouldn't be doing it!!!!

I think it's something better saved for special occasions, chris - because it makes it really wonderful and high-holiday-like. You guys may feel differently, though, so go ahead and say what you think.

posted by taz 15 February | 11:33

I agree that it wouldn't be the best idea. Not everyone wanted to do it and might not like getting emails.

posted by weretable and the undead chairs 15 February | 11:36

It is entirely possible that I am still lying and I never checked. Or maybe I really have sent that many and my plan all along was to keep people from sending many to me so I could have the best ratio. Or maybe I am not weretable at all. We will never know.

posted by weretable and the undead chairs 15 February | 11:40

i didn't really see it as a valentine's thing so much as a fun new toy with a theme.
And, yeah, were, i totally didn't send you one because you said you were gaming it.
i think i know which one is taz unless she didn't send one.
Same for weretable or his chair.

On the regularity of use, there is pretty much at least a holiday a month, usually more, so we could do it by the moon cycle or astronomical anomaly or random holiday of choice but it would be cool if it wasn't just UScentric Christian holidays.

posted by ethylene 15 February | 11:43

More unseen messages:

# To: omiewise
i don't know if you make love so much as it just happens but i think you can make it happen, depending on-- oh, wait, that's not what you meant, is it... um, so what did you want to know, positions?

# To: MightyNez
Of all the Nezzes in the world, you don't have to be the Mightiest or the Nezziest, just the aroundiest.

# To: amro
If affection was shown by being leafy and green, i would give you spinach for strength by iron to be forged how you wish and calcium that will keep your fangs fruitfully bared, but without that fuzzy teeth feeling and with the ability to be combined with soy without leeching your forgeability. Also it would go well with cream and cheese.

Instead of small i keep wanting to write smell.

posted by ethylene 15 February | 12:41

Same for weretable or his chair.

I sent more than one.

posted by weretable and the undead chairs 15 February | 12:46

To me?
This guessing game is getting more complex by the hour.
Aww.
i was hoping it was someone else.
*sigh*

# To: bmarkey
If love was untidy math, then the way i'm dissecting up my ratios into fractions on your behalf, but that doesn't factor in abiding affections or properly remainder remembered zingers and respect, so instead of having to use multidimentional graphing, let me just say in da gadda da vida honey.

# To: nomis
If love was quantifiable by bidding on ebay, i'd keep bidding until there was nothing but crumb, then i'd bid on the crumbs. Just bid, i wouldn't pay. That's right, i'd ruin my perfect ebay standing for you, and i'm all "Wow! Lighting fast payment Double plus plus good A+++++++++++ fantastic!"

posted by ethylene 15 February | 13:21

I think I did anyway. I'm not going to check. Too sleepy. Must nap now.

posted by weretable and the undead chairs 15 February | 13:27

i suppose me posting mine is annoying to people.
i guess guessing who sent what won't have anyone fessing up either.
*sigh*
Oh, bother.

posted by ethylene 15 February | 13:32

I was enjoying them, eth. I don't know what's it's worth, but there you have it.

posted by wimpdork 15 February | 13:41

Well, that's all i need, but for just two people, i should probably give it a rest--
--although, for who ever just sent that little bit:

It's been the highlight thus far.
Genuine broad irrepressible smile of respect and everything.

posted by ethylene 15 February | 13:47

Someone should really fess up
i mean, look at all the fessing i did.
quids
pro quos

posted by ethylene 15 February | 13:53

I'm definitely enjoying 'em.

posted by box 15 February | 13:54

Ok, then. Two more rhymey ones:

# To: arse_hat
A mitten too far and seasons too bleak don't make for the best of suits bespoke, but reasoned libations, fine food, stimulation-- it's all good from a glute in a toque.

# To: moonbird
i suspect we're differently sexed, else i'd say let's fuck like prairie voles. But rodents don't seem to best make my scene, so i say artistic fulfillment sans holes.

So does this mean we can play guessing games now or someone could pick which ones they liked?

posted by ethylene 15 February | 14:23

Ok, so despite all the babbling here (i can type really fast at times, hence bizzare atypical atypos) i've actually gotten a lot done and hopefully amused some of you so i'd like to indulge myself now.
No, i didn't send out the most or the best messages, but i really tried, dammit, to give a little something with each one.
Sorry to everyone i missed and i know i missed most everyone, especially people who were signed up but you guys probably got lots.
So i'd like to share some of my favorites and ask for some people to own up. You have been warned, so if you don't want me revealing what i sent or what i got, mail now or too bad, clown!

This all started because i didn't want to waste the "mouse poop jimmies" line and this one on just one or less audience members:

# To: cmonkey
If cmonkeys weren't brine shrimp and really did play with those balls and castles, i would totally get you a plastic castle and wish you fun with your balls, but you are so hot you would melt the castle and then die from toxic water. Please don't die.

Anyone who feels the overwhelming need to share one they think is from me, i give you carte blanching.

posted by ethylene 15 February | 15:41

I think I got one from you, but I'm not sharing. I'm keeping it all for myself. ;)

posted by tr33hggr 15 February | 15:53

ethylene, your valentines are great. Keep posting them please (if that's OK).

posted by cmonkey 15 February | 16:05

i'll leave that to other people if they want to share.
And i don't want embarass anyone so i'll just see what i can pick through with my guesses (which i think people should have the guts to claim them or do something similar but i understand i am walking the line of trangression here. i can take the lash for you, hang me up to dry)
There is one or two i'd really like to know.
Betting on this being weretable:

I love you, you crazy ass mofo.

posted by ethylene 15 February | 16:20

I sent you one, eth. And yes - I recognized the one from you, too.

posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson 15 February | 17:19

You wanna share?
i want to know who sent this one if it's not weretable again. i have definite suspicions:

You're crazy, but in a fun way. good to see you back on metachat.

posted by ethylene 15 February | 17:29

Feel free. Mine was a verse. I have to do a lame on-line training course, so I'll be out of the loop for a while.

posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson 15 February | 17:39

This i sent:

# To: It's Raining Florence Henderson
You don't want my love, you want attention. Well, you've got both of mine, but what do i get? Damp spots on the furniture and the uneasy sense of having been taken for granted. Fine. Be that way.

and if this was the one he sent, it was the bestest and made it all worth it:

there's something about ethylene/ elemental, unforeseen/ she means more than she even knows/ to those who hunt her wild prose/ grateful for a unique voice/ defiant of routine

heh. i sent commentary to seanyboy.

posted by ethylene 15 February | 17:51

Sorry, seany:

# To: seanyboy
Was it you, poetboy? If it was, i'd add a syllable to the hunt line, probably change wild. Otherwise, pure brilliance. If it wasn't you, then, oops, um, how's the weather with the go manchester arsenal something? Oh, uh, i think Marianne Moore is at the door.

i believe weretable is now sending me lyrics to Neil Diamond but it could have been much worse or much better and i can't bear to link those examples any more.

posted by ethylene 15 February | 18:15

I didn't send any of those. *shrugs*

posted by weretable and the undead chairs 15 February | 18:17

Are you lying? Because then i have to change what i blame Eide for.

posted by ethylene 15 February | 18:19

i'd add a syllable to the hunt line, probably change wild

Heh. "wild" was originally "untamed," but I wanted to avoid any possible negative connotations.

Theoretically.

posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson 15 February | 18:20

eth, I sent one stupid one about biting the heads off chocolate bunnies. I remember that for sure. Definitely no lyrics. Or any today, it was cold and I went to sleep. For an hour. Only I managed to sleep four hours instead.

posted by weretable and the undead chairs 15 February | 18:29

Maybe "as she goes" or "dismal prose".
"spotty nose"? "thar she blows"?

were: i thought that was loquacious. i thought he sent two. Now i think he sent one and i'm pretty sure it's him.

posted by ethylene 15 February | 18:35

i didn't think it was stupid, and i found the nipple part refreshing and strangely appropriate.
The puzzle is slowly unfolding.
i just wish i had sent more last night when i stopped to the people i was planning on sending to then.

posted by ethylene 15 February | 18:39

i believe my wireless capability is finally dying out deado dead so i'll have to retire from the upright position sans connectivity unless i swap a bunch of stuff around.
i was thinking of not getting a router as it would force me to stop computing from bed. But good god i love lying on my belly when i'm beat down exhausted. Or my side. Or my back.
So i'll add this while i figure out what i'll do.
Let me preface it with the fact that my mother loved noodles while she was fecund with moi.
i, too, love the noodles, and keep them from myself as i will default to them quite easily.
i love a good noodle.

# To: mygothlaundry
If love was a ridiculous amount of noodles, i wouldn't even fight you for them, and i really love noodles. i mean really. Like noodles so much i would fight you for them. Except i wouldn't because these noodles are full of love for you. The nonfighty kind.

Pleas to shut up will be duly noted.

posted by ethylene 15 February | 18:49

Now i'm breaking my three in a row rule, but as an old Texan roommate use to say, "Fuck y'all. Fuck all y'all."

So the slow teasing reveal as the best of the old gals do, with puzzle bits and funny skits. Why it's like vaudeville for a new millennium.

Is Sweet Caroline being sent by a Bostonian or just some general mass ass?

Meanwhile:

# To: gaspode
If only all rodents could be sacrificed in the name of gaspode... and SCIENCE!

# To: seanyboy
What do you do with a boy like seany? i don't know but i bet it's naughty and involves trips to casualty. Remember to disinfect.

# To: taz
You deserve something more than words. Like words soaked in gold and served on a bed of money with a side of kittens. i don't have any of those, so please have some words.

i no longer thing the second were attributed quote is from who i thought it was. i really don't have any suspects any more.
Care to present yourself?

posted by ethylene 15 February | 19:42

If this isn't Eide, reveal yourself, because i am stumped:

ethylene I've never seen a purple spleen like ethylene I want to get up on that

Erstwhile:

# To: chrismear
i would like to take this time to apologize for my abuse of the lovely thing you created. You only hurt the one's you love, which i why i expect you to violate me and read all my info. Fresh.

# To: sisterhavana
Work it like a sex machine. Scare the boys away. You want the real men. Or maybe women. Kittens are nice, too. Maybe a pony?

# To: dodgygeezer
If only i could tolerate the thought of some form of sex with you... i can't but, but we can give the puppets a try.

Eating would be good but that involves moving large muscle groups and chewing.

posted by ethylene 15 February | 21:21

This game might be called on account ah rain
of the tears of baby lord julia child that i am eating another possibly mediocre sammich while i actually have delicious things i never have in the fridge because i am too tired to cook-- wait, marinated olives just take tearing-- why is there no sour or otherwise cream in this place?
So this might be it, at least for now.
You gotta say something out loud if you think this is "the suck" or "the ossem" [i really wish i could add the audio for those, but alas, my built innie ain't so hottie right nowie] or no one will know and then when you blow up about it later, someone's bound to think you are having a spastic fit.

It's not all of them, but you never know.
First off, if this isn't loquacious, i don't know what is, sugarfreak:

Happy day after Thanksgiving! February 15th is the day of hunger strike and torment! FLESH UPON FLESH. I am the beast of the west. Happy day! Did you eat lots of candy yesterday? I am now VERY FAT from candy. Candy is GOOD. ROAR! I hope you had a good "heart" day. The day of heartiness.

# To: DaShiv
You stick it to me like a homemade knife, flailing with your roughly hewn edge, clumsily looking for the opportunity... sorry, my heaving bosoms are tired of waiting and this get up is getting uncomfortable. You'll have to blow your own balloons, birthday boy.

# To: dg
Your seething virility shocks me. It paralyzes me beyond all functionality, yet has an oddly comfortable supporting effect on large breasts. If only you could be marketed as an undergarment, i know i could go forth and fight crime wearing only the skimpiest lycra. As it is, i'm stuck with bulky battle armor, but at least the kevlar bustier is kinda hot.

# To: SassHat
Nothing says i love you like chicken burritos. Just because i can't give you chicken burritos doesn't mean i don't love you, it just makes me unloveable.

posted by ethylene 15 February | 22:21

The sandwich was actually delicious, as were the tiny olives. Now i am digesting.
Shhh.

posted by ethylene 15 February | 23:14

14 February 2007