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13 February 2007

What do you look for in a man? →[More:]The question was asked in our Training class today, and the most popular responses were (a) Smile and (b) Shoes.
post by: hadjiboy at: 07:03 | 60 comments
Sense of humor.
posted by bunnyfire 13 February | 08:03
I have my own teeth and a pair of shoes. This explains why women find me irresistible.
posted by dodgygeezer 13 February | 08:17
It's not just the ladies, dodgy. Rowr.
posted by richat 13 February | 08:20
I have a pair of teeth and my own shoes (from when I was 5, so they're uncomfortable to wear). Has the same effect.
posted by jonmc 13 February | 08:30
Was the question: What about a man's appearance attracts you, or what do you look for in a man's soul?
posted by getoffmylawn 13 February | 09:34
I'm looking for a man with jonmc's teeth and dodgygeezer's shoes; please advise.
posted by taz 13 February | 09:40
Or in his soles? Or his in-soles?
posted by dodgygeezer 13 February | 09:40
I'm looking for a man with jonmc's teeth and dodgygeezer's shoes; please advise.

I'd recommend the methadone clinic down the street.
posted by jonmc 13 February | 09:41
Jon's not getting my shoes so I'm going to have to get a flight to New York and I'll be bringing my pliers
posted by dodgygeezer 13 February | 09:49
"A man's not well dressed if his shoes are a mess, rock and roll, I've got a hole, right in my sole"... -mighty mighty bosstones
posted by getoffmylawn 13 February | 09:50
stow the plier, dodgy. with my diet they'll come out on their own.
posted by jonmc 13 February | 09:51
So, what kind of messages are conveyed by specific shoe choices? Usually, my expressive-clothing needs are covered by various combinations of handkerchiefs, but I want to branch out.
posted by box 13 February | 10:09
Money.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero 13 February | 10:16
A penis.
posted by matildaben 13 February | 10:36
kidneys?
posted by Quentin 13 February | 11:10
Well I don't know about you, but I was looking for the source of that annoying buzzing sound. Who knew they were so messy inside? *sigh* If anyone needs me, I'll be out in the back 40. I know I left that shovel around here somewhere. mutter mutter goddamn can't find anything when you need it mutter
posted by elizard 13 February | 11:24
It's been so easy all along? And here I have been fooling with more difficult stuff like compassion, fitness, humor, intelligence, wit?

Who knew?
posted by danf 13 February | 11:24
knowing when to go with it
knowing when to be with it
knowing when it's time to be
knowing when it's time to go
not having to know it all
knowing how to stick it out, stick it in, stick around, shift--

--so, yeah, basically having a reliable car, good black market connections and being able to do the dirty work some of the time.
posted by ethylene 13 February | 11:38
Wait, henchman, right?
Because manservant is slightly different.
posted by ethylene 13 February | 11:41
Same thing I look for in a woman: a great pair of...yeah...shoes. I like to pull the laces really tight.
posted by danostuporstar 13 February | 11:44
box: spats say "Come hither," while cuban heels say more of an "I'll come to to you, after i take several tiny steps that dither about in other directions."
posted by ethylene 13 February | 12:08
Shoes are all about situation. If a man is wearing ratty athletic shoes all the time, that says, "I can't put myself together." If a man owns a pair of nice casual shoes or boots, this says, "I can shop for myself."

Really, it has to do with combating the "useless male slob" image that was so popular in the 90s and even (on TV, at least) today.
posted by muddgirl 13 February | 12:30
So wait-- is it good or bad that I own about 30 pairs of shoes?
posted by dersins 13 February | 12:42
It is nice if they are dedicated and responsible.

dersins = Imelda Marcos?

:)
posted by halonine 13 February | 12:47
I was playing stylist to my brother the other night - he was going out to a formal dinner dressed all nice in his suit and wearing scuffed up black dress shoes when I know, and he knows, that he's got a perfectly nice pair that he could wear. He was trying to be all practical because of the salt and whatever outside, but there was no way I was going to let him out of the house wearing ratty shoes on the off-chance he sees a cute girl there, she looks down at his shoes and thinks, real cute but bad shoes.
posted by phoenixc 13 February | 13:07
A penis.
posted by matildaben 13 February | 10:36

Just a guess, but if you see a penis in a man, he might not be the one for you.
posted by George_Spiggott 13 February | 13:40
Nu Shooz
posted by TheDonF 13 February | 13:53
A decent record collection and a penchant for absurdism.
posted by Hellbient 13 February | 14:29
Okay, seriously: intelligence, silliness, humility (not self-deprecation, just humility), height. (Hey, when you're as tall as I am, it's an issue.) Geekiness combined with badness makes me swoon. On preview: Geekiness + badness + a penchant for absurdism makes me swoon. Also seconding the decent record collection. (Thanks, hellbient!)
posted by elizard 13 February | 14:37
You know how all women say their looking for a guy with a nice smile who can make them laugh? And then other women and some guys will say that's bullshit; that women are looking for rich and powerful men who will be able to afford their lavish spending habits? (which always offended me, btw)?

Well, I really do look for nice guys with great smiles who can make me laugh.
posted by muddgirl 13 February | 14:41
Intelligence, sense of humour (the ability to make jokes, the desire to laugh at mine), compassion, a strong sense of self without an overbearing ego (I guess that's confidence, really). I like guys who are quick as well as smart -- quick to get jokes, quick to get references, quick to make intellectual connections between ideas. Nice eyes.

I don't get the shoe thing. I mean, I like good shoes, but I never think to notice them. It's funny to me that so many people do -- I feel like I'm skipping a step!
posted by occhiblu 13 February | 14:46
Apparently, thinking of my past and current relationships, I look for left-handed, dark-haired men who play the guitar.
posted by gaspode 13 February | 14:49
No drunks; no boys in men's bodies.

I like men who are comfortable in their own skin, and don't need to prove their superiourity. I like intelligent conversation and a willingness to learn. I like a man who can make things, as well as think things. He has to think I'm funny. :D

posted by reflecked 13 February | 14:55
Oh, god, gaspode, in my misspent life I have dated FIVE left handed Leo musicians named Michael. Now I try like hell to avoid any of those traits. Except I am still fond of musicians. And one was a jazz trumpet player and one was a drummer, but the rest were all guitarists.
posted by mygothlaundry 13 February | 14:56
You're not skipping a step, occhi, it just means your not a hipster/designer/architect/shoe whore. Like some people.

Also, I have to mention that in the last two years, my feet have grown half a size, and that now my $200 brown Giraudon pumps with the hand stitching don't fit anymore and I'm very sad.

What do I look for in a man? First glance: nice hands, tidy fingernails. Getting to know him: intelligence. Considering as partner material: likes himself, is kind, confident but not cocky, has a good sense of humor and a penchant for goofiness, and, um, likes to be a little naughty.

I have dated FIVE left handed Leo musicians named Michael.


Nuh UH! Really???
posted by Specklet 13 February | 15:04
At least it makes remembering the names easy. Also, you could probably get away with buying the same present time after time - they'd never know.
posted by TheDonF 13 February | 15:10
Oh! I would also say the ability to explain things well, in an interesting way, without being condescending. I think I revert to student mode pretty easily -- I like having interesting people teach me things -- so those sorts of conversations are often the first ones I have with someone. Which I guess becomes a way of assessing the intelligence, compassion, confidence, sense of humor, etc.
posted by occhiblu 13 February | 15:11
I would also say the ability to explain things well, in an interesting way, without being condescending.

Well, that's me out then. Someone asked me at work last week which meeting room the Appledore Room was. The first words out of my mouth were "the only one with the words 'Appledore Room' stuck on the door"
posted by TheDonF 13 February | 15:24
Crap, if I keep commenting in this thread, it'll make it look like I'm hanging out here for clues or something. I'm outta here (and going to buy some new shoes)
posted by TheDonF 13 February | 15:26
Holy crap, mgl! That's gotta be some sort of record.

I myself tend to date the water signs. But I married a taurus, much better for my virgoisity
posted by gaspode 13 February | 15:26
The first words out of my mouth were "the only one with the words 'Appledore Room' stuck on the door"

Yes, but were you laughing with them, or at them? ;)
posted by occhiblu 13 February | 15:36
Sometimes you want to be amused and sometimes you want to be amusing.
It's nice to not have to always be one thing or another.
It's nice to hear someone speak without it being a lecture that needs rapt attention and most people are rather poor at explaining things and teaching in general, and for others, paying attention at all instead of just thinking about what they are going to say next or just staring at you.
Splitting up duties is fine and good and great even but i'd rather got get bug catching duty. i can but i'd rather not. i don't mind doing dishes if you will dust because i really hate keeping up with dust, but then if you have other better skills, i'd be fine with making the dust a priority.
If you're better at fixing the element in that machine than i am, please do that. If you can make a ton more money at thermodynamics than i could, go right the hell ahead.

So basically, reliable things are good but not all the same stuff all the time.

Apply any of this as you like to sex.

i need more footwear.
posted by ethylene 13 February | 15:42
I have dated FIVE left handed Leo musicians named Michael.


Ha! I got up to Sara[h] #6 before I deceided to swear off Sara[h]s forever.

Handedness and astrological signs varied, however.
posted by dersins 13 February | 16:02
No drunks; no boys in men's bodies.

Well, I never...

A decent record collection and a penchant for absurdism

you could never afford me. seriously, the bar tabs alone would cripple you.
posted by jonmc 13 February | 16:54
Crap, if I keep commenting in this thread, it'll make it look like I'm hanging out here for clues or something.

I'm definitely hanging out here for clues.
posted by box 13 February | 17:09
Then we need a compatible thread.
i've used Michael and Sarah so at least i know two people who are off the list.
i think i want people weathered out of their extensive hallmark holiday plans just for the hell of it.
posted by ethylene 13 February | 17:18
I dated a Laura and a Loren, consecutively (not concurrently) but they both lived in cabins out in the country and slept in lofts. I thought that was sorta weird. MGL has all of us beat, I think.
posted by danf 13 February | 17:56
I've dated a John and a Jon, and they both played guitar... nothing amazing about that, though.

I dated a bartender named Herbert once. (Hee.) He'd get really mad if I called him Herbert, because everyone called him Red. I laughed in his face when he told me what his given name was. I think the only reason he didn't get really mad was because I was naked at the time...
posted by Specklet 13 February | 18:26
oh, there's a lot of things, but for me it can be boiled down to a few.

personal qualities:
- sense of humor
- kindness/compassion
- curiosity
- warmth

physical qualities:
- great smile
- great arms and shoulders (sorry, it's my absolute weakness)
- twinkly and/or crinkly eyes, possibly behind glasses

With scodyboy, I hit the jackpot.
posted by scody 13 February | 18:34
Required: Kindness, intelligence, sense of humor, values/politics not opposed to my own, grown-up, i.e., financially & emotionally stable
Requested: likes to dance, beautiful voice, beautiful hands, enthusiasm for life, love of nature
Bonus points: being Hugh Laurie or Hugh Jackman

Looks are nice, but anybody can be at least okay-looking if they take care of themselves. If a guy hasn't learned to take care of himself by now, it may be too late.

Money is really handy, but mostly someone who isn't a financial mess. I've done that and it wasn't any fun.

I used to be a lot more emotionally fragile, and I still have a lot of bad days, but I've learned to cope, and I want that in a partner. Drama is for the theatre.
posted by theora55 13 February | 18:39
And he should be single.
posted by theora55 13 February | 18:41
Eyes are very important. And a great sense of humor. Financially stable (not rich, necessarily) is also important. Oh, and a wide variety of interests. I like good conversation, too.

And like theora55 said - single is good.

(I mean, if I was single again)
posted by redvixen 13 February | 18:59
Eyes are very important.

You wouldn't date a blind man?? Closed minded bigot. :)
posted by jonmc 13 February | 19:20
Women find me extremely resistable. Just ask any one that has resisted me, they'll tell you...
posted by eekacat 13 February | 19:27
From this thread, I have learned that I need to buy a guitar.
posted by Eideteker 13 February | 20:01
Uh, no.
Dated two guitarist who both went out with girls with a somewhat rare name, unusual occupation and living location, but not the same girl.
Other than that i don't think i have personal name doubles.
That's went you give them nicknames they might not like like "Owlboy" and "Pretty Pretty Princess."
posted by ethylene 13 February | 20:07
Non-physical:
- Funny
- Smart
- Geeky
- Likes some of the stuff I do and tolerates the rest
- Kind
- Clean and tidy
- Must like animals
- Mature but not an ol' fuddy duddy
- Socially liberal

Physical:
- Nice eyes, brown eyes are better'n blue
- Dark or grey hair (blondes and redheads don't do much for me unless it's a she)
- Bald or balding is fine as long as there isn't a comb-over or rug, shaved is fine
- Height doesn't matter

The mister just read this over my should. He said I should mention he has a bit of a belly. He's a dork.
posted by deborah 13 February | 23:00
From this thread, I have learned that I need to buy a guitar.

Nooooo! During my (incredibly long) period of dating musicians, I lived with one (one and one only) lead guitarist. Jesus fuck, never again. Bass players, yes. Rhythm guitar, maybe. Lead guitar or vocals, nevernevernever. Big-ass egos. Drummers...well, don't talk to me about drummers.

Pick up a bass if you must, Eide. Not that you need anything, you sexy thang, you ;)
posted by elizard 13 February | 23:30
(what elizard just said.)
posted by small_ruminant 14 February | 02:15
Ha ha, so the left-handed guitarist schtick is out, I guess. Anyone for a used drummer?
posted by Eideteker 14 February | 15:20
← Cool. || Helium Anonymous. →

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