MetaChat - Quick! Gimme three titles for an old honky-tonk country song!

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06 February 2007

Quick! Gimme three titles for an old honky-tonk country song! →[More:]Pretty please? It might become a real song!

post by: Miko at: 18:55 | 31 comments

"Honky Tonk Tonka Truck, That's How Much I Love You"

posted by soundofsuburbia 06 February | 19:01

No, wait. "Honky Tonk Tonka Truck (I Think I've Got a Heartache)"

posted by soundofsuburbia 06 February | 19:04

Bonus points for including:

cigarettes
whiskey
sawdust
dancin'
cheatin'
lyin'
stealin'
cryin'
leavin'
comin' back
mama
daddy
little ones at home
your arms
someone else's arms
...you get the picture.

posted by Miko 06 February | 19:10

1. Now She's Out Of My Life (Where The Heck Is My Wife?)
2. Ain't Nobody Lies Like An Old Dog Do
3. Kicks Like A Mule (Ol' Granny's Moonshine)

posted by Wolfdog 06 February | 19:11

I mean, picture this. There's been a break-up. A kid involved. The protagonist tries to get by, a beer is drunk. But then a sharp object, piercing through a sole. A Tonka Truck. Memories start flooding back. They, together bought that truck for the child. The child loved it. And now, all that's left are the memories. A green Tonka Truck, left alone in the living room, a reminder of better days.

Well, I for one, am crying in my beer.

posted by soundofsuburbia 06 February | 19:15

"I Washed the Sawdust From My Eye With Whiskey and I Cried Like the Day That You Left Me"

"I'll Shoot Your Dog If You Don't Get On Out"

"She Ain't Cryin', She's Choppin' Onions (But Tomorrow She'll Be Cryin' Over Me)"

posted by kyleg 06 February | 19:16

1)I'm going out for cigarettes, whiskey and sawdust and I ain't never comin' back.

2)This truck is a piece of shit and so are you. (this is more of a punk rocky honky tonk one).

3)Mama, the dog is dead.

posted by Divine_Wino 06 February | 19:18

1'. I'm Workin' the Fields, She's Rollin' in the Hay
2'. Can't Get My Fill Of That Filly
3'. I Poured Her A Shot, But She Took the Fifth

posted by Wolfdog 06 February | 19:20

soundofsuburbia, I think you just won CMA song of the year.

Too bad I'm striving for more of a pre-Nashville song. That would be perfect -- the broken home, the humble child's toy -- I can hear it on Delilah already!

posted by Miko 06 February | 19:21

1. Cheatin', Lyin', Cryin', Leavin'
2. Your Love is Like a Stiff, Stiff Drink
3. Sawdust in Your Knickers, Liquor on Yer Lips

posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson 06 February | 19:22

These are AWESOME. I'm stealing them ALL!

posted by Miko 06 February | 19:22

1''. Plum Outta Milk (You No-Good Cow)
2''. I Got a Shotgun, You Got to Go
3''. Do They Have Cheap Beer in Heaven?

posted by Wolfdog 06 February | 19:27

Can't steal a gift, Miko.

posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson 06 February | 19:27

How about "Back to the Old Honky Tonk", you know, instead of "back to the old drawing board"?
Or "Honky Tonk to Remember, Honky Tonk to Forget"?
Or "Honky Tonk! (There it is)"

oh, I get it now, it doesn't have to have "Honky Tonk" in it. Duh. Not that these are any more inspired:

How about "What Part of 'El Camino' (Don't You Understand)?"
Or "Graveyard Cheatin'"
Or "Get Out of My Dreams (and into my Firebird Trans Am 350X)"
Or "Whiskey Dreams"
Or "Outhouse Cheatin'"
Or "Break the Still"
or "Still Love" (about a guy who makes moonshine out of his dead lover, perhaps)

Sorry, I think I broke all of your rules...

posted by Hellbient 06 February | 19:36

I. Put the Silage in the Pit (And the Corn in the Hole)
II. Chew All You Want, But Don't Spit On The Floor
III.Beans 'n' T'mater's 'n' Real Good Neighbors

posted by Wolfdog 06 February | 19:37

It's Ok That You Left (But You Shoulda Taken Your Mama With You)

You've Got My Heart (But Lone Star's Got My Liver)

I'm Divorced and Drunk (But I Love Jesus (and Jim Beam))

posted by jonmc 06 February | 19:38

Oh, crap, Miko, if you don't write "I Love Jesus (and Jim Beam)" then I'm gonna hafta.

posted by Wolfdog 06 February | 19:40

Why Don't You Haul Off and Love Me?
One Man, Two Astrochicks, Three Years in the Can
Why Don't You Eat Where You Slept Last Night?

Two of these are old blues titles that would work better as country tunes.

posted by PlanetKyoto 06 February | 19:42

Mama ran off with a dental floss tycoon. (and she ain't never comin' home.)

Daddy's been cheatin', Mama's been cryin', Mama's leavin' soon.

Daddy drank our money, but we always had mama's love.

posted by LoriFLA 06 February | 19:46

Long Dry Summer (Since the Bar Burned Down)
Only Ever Got Drunk Once (Ain't Been Sober Since Then)
You Raise The Children, and I'll Raise Hell

posted by Wolfdog 06 February | 19:52

Lawd, My Woman Done Left (She Got a Hell Of A Right)
Fatback, Smoked Jowls, Headcheese, & Fried Brains
C'mon Little Piggy (Show Me Your Curly Tail) I have no idea what that means

posted by Wolfdog 06 February | 20:13

And clearly, that should have been You Raise The Children, Honey, I'll Raise Hell

posted by Wolfdog 06 February | 20:14

Wolfdog, you are positively inspired by this. I love it.

1. Then I'm Gonna Hafta
2. Wolf Ainta Dog Till After He's Fed (Boil Them Pertaters And Get On To Bed)
3. Honka My Tonka

posted by rainbaby 06 February | 20:32

1. Blind Drunk and Haulin' Ass (Late to Church Again)
2. Good Friends, Dynamite, and Ammunition
3. Old Fox Just Wants in the Chicken Yard

posted by Wolfdog 06 February | 21:02

Got Two Motel Mommas (But Only One Cheatin' Heart)
Two Cartons of Parliaments (Happy Birthday Baby)
Lost Two Teeth Down at the Titty Bar

posted by danostuporstar 06 February | 21:11

These are awesome, wolfdog's especially so.

posted by Divine_Wino 06 February | 21:15

"Bottle Caps, Peanut Shells and My Broken-down Heart (On The Barroom Floor)"
"Lyin' Here With You (Lyin' To Her On The Phone)"
"Tell Mama I Tried (Solitary Confinement Blues)"

posted by grabbingsand 06 February | 22:29

"I'm Datin' Satan" (I have lyrics to this one. Email me. ;-) )
"Lovin' You Ain't Been Nothin' But Sin For Me"
"Baby, If It Weren't You It Sure As Hell Woulda Been Your Mama"

posted by mygothlaundry 06 February | 23:21

Note left on fridge:
Hon,
Your Momma drank my watermelon wine, stole my truck to get more but it stalled on the tracks. I'll be in jail.
1.[ Sad enough I'll smoke myself to death over you.
2.[ Don't tell me your heart hit the sawdust, when she's over you.
4.[ I divorced Jim Beam and drunk Jesus. ]props to jonmc[
9.[ Don't drop kick me Jesus, fer Christsakes...

What a Line:
so, You left me honey (But You Shoulda Taken Your Mama With You)
—jonmc
&
Runner Up: — danostuporstar...
Lost Two Teeth,

posted by alicesshoe 07 February | 00:49

Wolfdog must've been a song-writer in a previous life.

posted by deborah 07 February | 14:08

1. "He's stolen my truck, my dog, and my gun (But I'll shine his boots anyway)"
2. "My guitar can't play (since you went away)"
3. "I'll kick sawdust in your face (that man is mine!)"
4. "Girls night out and we're runnin' out of gin"
5. "Lord, won't you send Mama home (from the bar)"

posted by redvixen 07 February | 18:54

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