MetaChat - Home from a weekend at my sister's

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14 January 2007

Home from a weekend at my sister's →[More:]My sister's husband left her on Christmas Eve, so I went up this weekend to give her a bit of moral support.

The good parts:

- I chose a new route - instead of M25/M1 I went M11/A14 and then only had to cover 3 junctions of the M1. It was heaps better, both there and back, although it adds about another 30 miles or so on the journey. But far fewer nutter lorry drivers and no roadworks, contraflow or speed restrictions, so much less stress.

- My sister's cat (who was really her husband's cat) was feeling a lack of attention and so let me fuss her a lot.

- I was able this morning to say to my sister that there is a lot of negativity in just about everything she says - the way her friends live their lives, the way the other manager at work does his job (she works alternate weekends and the other guy works when she doesn't), generally disapproving of people who don't do things according to her expectations, even though what they do has nothing to do with her. I said that these things are really none of her business and that having so many negative feelings is dragging her down. For once she appeared to listen.

- I cooked us a lovely dinner on Friday night - chicken with olives & sundried tomatoes, roasted vegetables and brown rice with coriander (yes, the dreaded cilantro!)

The bad parts:

- Said negativity of sister, the constant criticism, disapproval and judgmentalism of other people.

- Said cat waking me up every hour on the hour for a fuss.

- The dog obsession, anthropomorphisation to a ridiculous degree.

- The obsession with teddies, Spongebob, ornaments and other various soft toys, all of which have names and 'personalities'. (My sister is 50 years old).

But all in all, it wasn't a bad visit. I've said I'll help her draft the divorce papers (I was a divorce lawyer for 15 years) to save her some money. She thinks she'll be able to save the house. She's seeing a financial adviser and I told her to sign nothing until I've seen the KFI he sends her which sets out all the charges (she's not very good with paperwork).

Tired now. Need Cadbury's Flake.

post by: essexjan at: 12:10 | 13 comments

That sounds delicious, essexjan,the chicken dinner that is.

posted by By the Grace of God 14 January | 12:56

Sounds like you did some good. Well done.

The obsession with teddies, Spongebob, ornaments and other various soft toys, all of which have names and 'personalities'.

Uh-oh, I do this.

posted by chrismear 14 January | 13:37

The obsession with teddies, Spongebob, ornaments and other various soft toys, all of which have names and 'personalities'.

Me too. To a certain degree. If I buy a stuffed animal, I look through them all to find one with the "right face". I'm weird.

That said, sounds like a decent weekend, Jan. And it sounds like your sister is getting on with her life. Good for her.

posted by redvixen 14 January | 14:40

Your sister is very lucky to have you.

posted by theora55 14 January | 15:43

Out of curiosity, what's a KFI? Oh, and having just finished dealing with my first (and hopefully, last) divorce case ever, I echo what everybody else has already said, times a hundred. Free, experienced help with a divorce from someone you trust is a gift beyond value. Good for you. The chicken also sounds lovely, even to a herbivore like myself.

posted by Lassie 14 January | 16:40

I've got a few soft toys in my flat, but only because I've never got rid of them. They don't have names or personalities, which is more than a good thing; they just gather dust and get in the way. Next week, they're going to be donated to my 18 month-old niece. I've also got a few Simpsons characters and a Darth Maul. Simpsons are definitely staying, but I can't make my mind up about Darth - I love me some Star Wars, but Episode 1 was bloody awful.

posted by TheDonF 14 January | 17:47

Your sister is lucky to have you. It's nice that you are close enough to be sincere with one another. I always rely on my sister to give me a good kick in the ass, or to remind me to get a grip.

Your dinner sounds delicious. I didn't know Spongebob was popular in England.

posted by LoriFLA 14 January | 18:08

Your dinner sounds delicious. I didn't know Spongebob was popular in England.
What the...?! Oh. I see.

posted by Wolfdog 14 January | 20:09

Oh, and by the way.

posted by Wolfdog 14 January | 20:52

You're a good sister, jan, even if your sis doesn't realise it.

Dinner sounds good. Save me some?

And I have a few stuffed animals myself including a Beanie Baby (Scorch) hanging over the top of my monitor (he protects me from the 'net monsters). But anthromorphisizing them? Uh, no, I save that for my wee beasties.

posted by deborah 14 January | 22:53

i have a bean baby of the grim reaper. it's fucking adorable.

posted by ethylene 14 January | 22:58

oh yeah, and i know she's going through a rough time, but she better know some gratitude. the learning's half the battle. i hope she's been there for you some this last year.

posted by ethylene 14 January | 23:00

We've got Scorch, too, deborah. (The kid is all dragons and dinos all the time.)

Your sister sounds bitter, sad and lonely, jan. We've got a few of those in my family, too. The worst part is it's difficult to tell if they're bitter from being so sad and lonely or they're sad and lonely because they're always so damn bitter.

And I wish I had a Cadbury Flake. (Actually a Wispa. We have nothing like them here.)

posted by jrossi4r 14 January | 23:44

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