To think... Someone paid tens of thousands of dollars to have that done.

There are about 1020 patents about goats including this rather natty goat hoof pen holder - ideal for the satanist in your life.

Huh. I didn't know you could patent vague visual design shapes, like that pen holder (or the iPhone, for that matter). I thought patents had to be actual mechanisms or something along those lines.

There's an opening for patents on a monkey butler of some description. I'll start with a vague visual design (face, robot legs and heat-proof hands, reinforced tail for carrying extra luggage from cars/trains, etc) and work out the rest later.

I had a phone exactly like that, but it was Pac Man. You could push a button when you were talking to someone and it would play the song at a deafening volume to them.
Eventually it (obviously) broke in half.