What did you make him for breakfast?

*ducks and runs out*

Wait...this was all the same guy?!

I had a date tonight who told me that she hates pretentiousness. It turned out that among the things she considers pretentious is William Faulkner, mainly because the first part of The Sound and The Fury is just too hard to read.

oooh! More, more!

I can't think of any... but then it's really been like 2,000 years since I've dated, if you don't count my husband (who obviously didn't come out with any mindmelters).

Too Powerpointy. Tell us how he sneezed into the popcorn during the movie.

Ah, losers need love, too.

Yes, all from the same guy. There are at least six separate dealbreakers in that list.

Still dating...

Oh man! The Pearl Harbour item made me throw up a little...

I'll add a couple of mine:

After a first date, the dude asked me if I would come over to his house for dinner to meet his parents, who he lived with. He had told me that he lived alone, but apparently he lied, and worse, forgot about the lie. When I balked he said meeting me would give them "peace of mind." WTF? This is not something that happened in high school or even college. This is a grown man we're talking about here.


Past deal-breaker revelations from first dates:

-"I'm a huge wresting fan"

-"[checks ringing phone, doesn't answer it] Oh, it's my ex. She's crazy and keeps saying she's pregnant with my kid."

-"When I was a teenager, I used to jerk off while watching the bible channel" [this was not a joke]

These are hilarious.

...After a first date, the dude asked me if I would come over to his house for dinner to meet his parents, who he lived with...

WITH WHOM HE LIVED

I actually had a guy tell me he had cancer so I'd give him pity sex. Didn't work. So he broke up with me for not sleeping with him.

I have the mother of all blind date stories, though. I met a guy through the personals, in person. We met at a restaurant, and had a pretty nice first date. We made plans to have a second date, but over the course of the week and a half between, I began to change my mind. He didn't seem to be over his ex-wife, seemed a bit bitter about their divorce. So when we met up again for a day at the beach, I was honest (to a point). I told him that I saw us more as friends. (There was just something about him that alarmed me). He seemed to understand, and we actually had dinner after nearby. It was pleasant, and we parted amicably.
So imagine my surprise, when the following night I received a call from a detective. He asked about my date the previous night with "Jon", asking how much he had had to drink, what time we had parted, etc. Turns out, due to the time line, that "Jon" had left me, gone to his ex-wife's, beat her up, called the ambulance and told them she'd fallen down stairs while drunk. The hospital had it's own suspicions, and called the police. When they arrived at "Jon"'s house, he had stabbed himself - repeatedly. He died. DIED!!!!!!! I had to give a statement to the police; they wanted to know why I told him I didn't want to date him. I couldn't explain it any better than that something didn't feel right.
I'm done. Y'all can close your mouths now. :^)

Oh my god.

Way to go, intuition.

My God, redvixen.