MetaChat - Did you hear about the one-armed butler?

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08 December 2006

Did you hear about the one-armed butler? →[More:]He could take it but he couldn't give it out!

Any more jokes for a Friday afternoon?

post by: TheDonF at: 10:14 | 17 comments

where do watermelons go in the summer?

To john cougar's melon camp.

posted by jonmc 08 December | 10:18

How do you get a clown off a swing?
Hit it with an axe

posted by TheDonF 08 December | 11:23

So far, I only get jon's. Also, I bet the first one is supposed to be "couldn't dish it out" - but I still don't really get it.

posted by taz 08 December | 11:29

I call popbitch on you DonF.
I found the Russell Brand video amusing though.

posted by seanyboy 08 December | 11:30

My friend made this one up, during a period where I was obsessed with "kid puns."

A: What do you call a freight locomotive carrying caramels?
B: A chew-chew train!

posted by muddgirl 08 December | 11:39

Yeah seanyboy, t'was popbitch. The axe one was from the Bumper B3ta Book Of Sick Jokes (well worth the money as long as you really don't mind offensive jokes).

taz: give it/dish it out. If a butler has one arm and is, say, holding a platter of food, he can't dish anything out as his one arm is holding said platter.
This is the second time I've had to explain this one today

posted by TheDonF 08 December | 11:40

Ah! I was seeing him just putting down a plate of something. I'm not usually dense, but my butler refuses to do work that requires both hands, so I've been conditioned not to understand that joke.

Now what about the clown? Go ahead and tell me, so I can make up a reason I don't get that one either. I'm ready! Totally ready!

posted by taz 08 December | 11:49

It's not funny? :)

My favorite joke, which is not at all funny:

Q: Ask me if I'm a tree.
A: Are you a tree?
Q: No! Ask me if I'm a duck!
A: Are you a duck?
Q: QUACK!

It's not funny, but it's highly amusing in the right company.

posted by occhiblu 08 December | 11:58

Ah, that was just a "clowns are irritating" joke. As someone once said "kids are scared by them, adults are bored by them so what's the point of clowns?"

You need another butler - frankly yours sounds frightfully torpid and should be dismissed from your service post-haste, Taz darhling

posted by TheDonF 08 December | 12:03

occhi, that's awesome!

My favorite joke of all time:

Q: What's red and bad for your teeth?
A: A brick!

posted by Specklet 08 December | 12:42

Q: What's brown and sticky?
A: A stick!

(Yes, all subsequent jokes must rhyme.)

posted by occhiblu 08 December | 12:55

What's big, red and eats rocks?
A big, red rockeater.

(That was my childhood favorite.)

posted by jrossi4r 08 December | 13:51

I eat my peas with honey
I've done it all my life
It makes the peas taste funny
but it keeps them on my knife

(I found that endlessly entertaining as a preschooler)

posted by jonmc 08 December | 13:55

We used to have to write that for penmanship practice, jon. (Fat lot of good it did me. I've got the handwriting skills of a country doctor.)

posted by jrossi4r 08 December | 13:58

My handwriting sucks too, rossi. My dad used to say it looked like a chicken had jumped in ink and run around on the paper. Thank god for keyboards.

posted by jonmc 08 December | 14:02

In the spirit of occhiblu:

Q: What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?
A: A stick!

posted by tommasz 08 December | 22:47

TheDonF, my clown's a mime. :)

I would get rid of the butler, but dodgy gave him to me, and it's so hard to find proper British butlers these days.

posted by taz 09 December | 02:25

← Penises. || great idea for an (only slightly naughty) xmas t-shirt... →

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