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15 November 2006

I am officially a cranky old woman. The window at which I work faces out onto the street. I looked up a few minutes ago, and saw about eight high-school boys hanging out on the stoop across the street. [More:]"Shouldn't they be in school?" I thought. "That's too many boys to be outside at once," I thought. "What *are* they doing huddled around each other like that," I thought. I glared out the window. They finally saw me, waved sheepishly, and wandered away quickly.

I didn't get the chance to shake my fist at them, though.
I was at the mall and saw a girl with a bare midriff and instead of thinking 'va-va-voom!!" I thought 'Does her mother know she's wearing that?'

So, pass the strained peaches and turn on Matlock before I hit ya with my cane.
posted by jonmc 15 November | 15:31
OMG!!! What were they doing to that poor sheep?!
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson 15 November | 15:31
Wait...were any of them hot? Did you pass up the opportunity to ogle hot high school boys?
posted by jrossi4r 15 November | 15:36
They were so not hot. They all had goofy long hair and their pants were too big and they looked like they were 12 years old and they had backpacks. No one looks sexy with a backpack. (And I say this as a woman with a backpack.)
posted by occhiblu 15 November | 15:39
*looks at back pack, shrugs*

what about a naked supermodel with a backpack, huh??

I gotta agree with Miz Blue. At the high school age the male gender is basically walking pimple-encrusted-bag-of-DUH-hormone-oozers. We usually don't start to assume human form until our early twenties, if ever.
posted by jonmc 15 November | 15:42
Occhi, I had a similar experience this morning when I went to get coffee. There were two teenaged kids skateboarding on the outdoor patio of the grocery store. It was about 10 in the morning. They were making a lot of noise and their skateboards kept rolling away from them, and it made me feel really grouchy and old.

I also found myself wishing that one of their mothers would show up for her weekly grocery shopping expedition and bust their baggy-pantsed asses.
posted by mudpuppie 15 November | 15:44
Goofy long hair, though, that's hot.
posted by JanetLand 15 November | 15:45
Maybe they had a half-day of school today? Marking periods are ending and the teachers need the kids out of their hair so they can calculate who is failing.
posted by danostuporstar 15 November | 16:08
Maaaaaaaaybe. Given how quickly they scattered when they saw I was watching them, however, I choose to believe they were up to no good.

Quite likely harmless no-good, but no-good nevertheless.
posted by occhiblu 15 November | 16:20
Hey Occiblu, Wanna' come over and sit on my front porch and yell at people to get off my lawn with me?
posted by getoffmylawn 15 November | 16:31
I used the words "when I was a kid, we never did this sort of thing" with absolutely no irony about three years ago. I was so horrified that it took me a week to get over it.
posted by scrump 15 November | 16:34
I'm a cranky old lady too, but I try and watch that knee-jerk reaction...

The other day I was getting on a bus, shuffling forward as people paid their fare. There was a young whippersnapper behind me, maybe 14 or so, toting a skateboard. He bumped me in the elbow with it, and I thought "Stupid kids these days ain't got no respect." We shuffled forward and then he bumped me again, harder. I turned around to snap something at him, but before I could, he very pleasantly said "Oh, hey, I'm sorry!"

Made me feel about a thousand cynical years old.
posted by Specklet 15 November | 16:51
My daughter (age 2) wanted me to bring her the remote so she could shut the TV off this morning. I didn't tell her that when I was a kid we didn't have remotes (or children's shows any morning but saturday morning for that matter) but I sure was thinking it.

Hand me the chest high pants will ya.
posted by Mitheral 15 November | 17:04
When I was 2, I was 3.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson 15 November | 17:05
Ugh, kids with the huge baggy pants annoy me, especially the pants where the waistband is somewhere below the butt.
posted by sisterhavana 15 November | 17:28
That doesn't make any god damned sense, It's Raining Florence Henderson (you're name doesn't make any sense either, NTITOI). I'm no pathologist, but if you're 2, how the hell can you be 3?! You know, people used to make sense, back when I was growing up. But now it's all "I'm the scoobing telephone napkin man going to swim with the Lysol bandage" and "tell the horn farmer his jooma chilt fraze". I can't take it.

God damn no sense-makers don't make no fuckin' sense.
posted by Hellbient 15 November | 17:34
I had to chase some skateboarders off the company property this Spring. It wouldn't have been a big deal except they were giving one of my co-workers a hard time. They also had the gall to tell me that one of the building's renters had told them it was OK for them to launch off our loading ramp. My boss, who owns the building, gave me imprimatur to chase them off. I told them to leave and they had the unmitigated gall to sass back! The whole thing made me feel so old.

*shakes fist*
posted by lekvar 15 November | 17:40
protip: never trust anyone over 30
posted by Wedge 15 November | 17:41
I think I broke my spunk!
posted by Lipstick Thespian 15 November | 20:00
*knits LT's spunk back together with hot pink and marine blue wool yarn*

I felt skeezed the other day - my 45 year old boss came up to me and told me that she thought my 16 year old son was hot.

Ummm...ok???
posted by iconomy 15 November | 20:11
I gotta agree with Miz Blue. At the high school age the male gender is basically walking pimple-encrusted-bag-of-DUH-hormone-oozers. We usually don't start to assume human form until our early twenties, if ever.


College age boys are different, though, right? We had a couple come back to work over the summer. I spent the summer feeling half like their mother and half like Mrs. Robinson. Hotchacha!
posted by redvixen 15 November | 21:24
In my neighborhood I get to be the cranky old man, going out to silence the hoods hanging out in front of our house or rental property at midnight. They make more noise, then, but they tend to leave. It's a wonder they don't vandalize the place from hating me.
posted by stilicho 16 November | 00:42
The baggy pants make them look like they haven't yet been toilet trained.
posted by brujita 16 November | 01:01
I was at the little suburban public library yesterday, and some kid (I assume) had locked the one bathroom stall door from the inside, then had somehow vacated the premises. I couldn't be too mad about it, though, because, you know, I'd done the same thing in my youthful years.
posted by mrmoonpie 16 November | 09:51
I gotta agree with Miz Blue. At the high school age the male gender is basically walking pimple-encrusted-bag-of-DUH-hormone-oozers. We usually don't start to assume human form until our early twenties, if ever.


College age boys are different, though, right?


Yes, by then they've usually added artistic pretensions and unfortunate wardrobe choices to the mix.
posted by jonmc 16 November | 10:07
"Where There's a Whip There's a Way" (mp3 link) || Biggest science story of the year!

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