MetaChat - You know what really grinds my gears?

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26 October 2006

You know what really grinds my gears? →[More:]
The fact that everything is "automated" in bathrooms now. The toilet. The faucet. The fucking paper towel dispenser. Is this to placate the germophobes?!? OMG I CAN'T TOUCH ANYTHING!!!! WTF?! It'd be one thing if they actually worked, but I feel like such a fucking idiot standing there trying to coax the machine into giving me a paper towel. And then when one finally comes out, it happens in such small portions that you have to stand there looking like an idiot four or five times to get enough paper to properly dry your hands. Oh, but the faucets are the worst. They don't come on, they don't STAY on, there is no way to control the temperature... hey germophobes, you do know that the only way to kill all the bacteria is to wash your hands for more than 3 fucking seconds in HOT water, right? RIGHT?

I'm fucking tired of the toilet flushing while I'm on it, washing my hands in cold water, and then not having enough paper to dry them off.

Somebody hug me.

post by: mike9322 at: 07:30 | 25 comments

I would, but I don't want to catch anything.

posted by Doohickie 26 October | 07:43

(((mike9322)))

I hate the new style of hand dryer that has such power it feels as though the skin is being blown right off my hands. Its like drying your hands with a jet engine.

posted by LunaticFringe 26 October | 07:44

I have to pee.

posted by mike9322 26 October | 07:46

Is this posted from the future? Or maybe Japan? I've never even heard of an automatically flushing toilet, let alone used one. Nor an automatic paper towel dispenser.

posted by jack_mo 26 October | 07:54

I envy you, jack_mo. The automated bathroom is a scourge upon humanity.

That said, they're EVERYWHERE! I am shocked that you haven't seen them.

I do like the idea of posting from the future, though. The internet is going to be HUGE! Mark my words.

posted by mike9322 26 October | 07:56

The automated faucets I try to turn into game. Y'know, sneak up on 'em and stuff. I like the commodes with the huge metal buttons on top of the tank though. Makes me feel like I'm launching a missile.

posted by jonmc 26 October | 08:09

Is this to placate the germophobes?!?

I don't see how it would. It's a public restroom. I used to be a janitor, trust me, in every restroom everywhere, somebodys doing something disgusting, automated towels or not.

posted by jonmc 26 October | 08:11

*activates the automated lube machine to grease mike's gears*

posted by iconomy 26 October | 08:25

*wonders where one could obtain an automated lube machine...*

posted by syntax 26 October | 08:29

And while we're on the subject of public restrooms, they are not the appropriate venue for a conversation, especially if you have completed your bathroom business. Why in the world would you voluntarily stay in a (stinky) bathroom and discuss work or the weather or your golf game with someone else who is no longer going to the bathroom, when you could walk three steps and talk outside?!

This happens all the time where I work and it just baffles me.

posted by mike9322 26 October | 08:30

well mike, one night at the bar this kid was rolling a fat blunt full of sticky buds while using the urinal. Striking up a conversation with that cat is understandable, no?

posted by jonmc 26 October | 08:33

That said, they're EVERYWHERE! I am shocked that you haven't seen them.

They probably do have them down in fancy London, but not up here in the wilds of Scotland ;-)

And how to the auto-flush bogs work, anyway? Do they start flushing as soon as you raise your arse off the seat? And if so, if you're just having a piss in a cubicle, does the resulting wee stagnate until the next on-off arse arrives? And what happens if you need to flush twice? Is there an over-ride flush button, or do you have to do some sort of up-down bum dance to trick it into flushing again?

I'm intrigued.

posted by jack_mo 26 October | 08:37

mike, are you on MeFi? What's your name there if you don't mind me asking. Just curious.

posted by grouse 26 October | 08:42

grouse, same name on mefi. But I last posted a comment well over a year ago and I'm an extremely infrequent lurker. Do I remind you of someone over there or something?

j_m, here's a good article. Most automated toilets use a laser to "sense" when someone is using it. When the person moves away from the laser, the toilet flushes. The laser really becomes a problem with striped shirts; you have to sit perfectly still or the stripes confuse the laser and the damn thing flushes over and over while you are still trying to do your business. Mmm, nothing like the sweet spray of dirty toilet water on your bare ass. Some of them have manual overrides for courtesy or second flushes but not all of them. And those are the worst of all.

posted by mike9322 26 October | 08:48

I hate them, too! I especially hate them because my kid is TERRIFIED of them and refuses to use them. If she must, it takes a ton of negotiation and usually ends up with me holding my hand over the sensor and her running out with her pants around her ankles the second she's done.

I was actually contemplating posting an AskMe for suggestions on how to de-activate them. All I can think of is bringing duct tape everywhere I go.

And remind future me to change the batteries in the smoke detectors and pour in the septic treatment stuff. I always forget those things.

posted by jrossi4r 26 October | 08:49

Mmm, nothing like the sweet spray of dirty toilet water on your bare ass.

Dude, this isn't a fetish site, ok?

posted by jonmc 26 October | 08:49

No, not at all, I just see you post here and never on MeFi, and was wondering if there was a name change, like for some of the other denizens of MeCha.

posted by grouse 26 October | 08:55

I agree that there are improvements that could be made, but I love automated bathrooms. Makes me feel like I'm pooping in a frickin' spaceship or something. (But I also think the laser-activated litterbox that my cats use is pretty cool and not some bourgeois abomination.)

posted by pickles 26 October | 09:07

The toilets at my workplace were just switched to auto-flushers a month or so ago. I think they must be wasting water because it always flushes at least once while I'm in there, and then it flushes when I leave the stall. So annoying. I had no problem with pressing the lever on the old ones.

posted by smich 26 October | 09:15

Is this to placate the germophobes?!?

Nope, it's to save money. Those automated faucets use less hot water, the power paper dispensers save paper and create less waste. The automated toilets keep cleaner because people can't leave without flushing.

And I wish we had those power dispensers at work. Instead they've got these autocutting, pull to dispense RubeGoldbergest dispensers that you have to use just right or the paper gets ripped off such that the next person can't get any paper.

posted by Mitheral 26 October | 09:19

(But I also think the laser-activated litterbox that my cats use is pretty cool and not some bourgeois abomination.)

Laser-activated litterbox? Do tell!

posted by initapplette 26 October | 09:20

apparently his cats shit lasers.

posted by jonmc 26 October | 09:22

It was actually kind of a rhetorical question, mitheral. My logical brain understands the reasoning behind it, but that doesn't stop me from getting spitting angry about the whole thing. I want to flush on my own terms and use HOT water to wash my hands and my hands get really damn cold if I don't dry them all the way (especially after washing with cold water!) so I need at least three paper towels, preferably four! It pisses me off that these bathrooms make what should be a simple, routine thing so difficult.

posted by mike9322 26 October | 09:35

Plus little kids wig out if they don't get to do all the stuff, for their hands and your hands. When mine was little it was just the hand dryers.

posted by auntbunny 26 October | 10:38

The other big problem with automatically flushing toilets is that they've started to train people not to flush. This is not a good habit to reinforce.

posted by mudpuppie 26 October | 13:50

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