MetaChat - My evening sucked and I feel like shit.

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10 August 2006

My evening sucked and I feel like shit. →[More:]So this blue eyed guy we tagged Shorty likes to hang out and chat with my cats. Tonight I was doing some planting and found him in the front yard covered with flies. I was crushed to see him but I figured I could at least give him a proper burial.

When I came back with a garbage bag to scoop him up his eyes flew open and he ran about 6 feet. I put my gardening gloves on and approached him. He could hardly hold his head up but he always found the strength to run from me. I tried to go around him and never quite got there. Finally he disappeared under someone's porch.

His friend, a half brother to my Whitey Ford died this April. I fear Shorty will not survive this night and die alone. I really hate that I could do nothing for him.

post by: arse_hat at: 20:56 | 22 comments

Oh, that's so sad. I know what you mean, but you're caring. That is something.

posted by JanetLand 10 August | 21:17

aww

maybe you could put food under that porch for him?

posted by amberglow 10 August | 21:22

he will smell it and it definitely seems like he has the strength to get to it to eat it, no?

posted by amberglow 10 August | 21:23

We did leave wet and dry food out for him but I fear it may be too late. When Whitey was sick recently only force feeding saved him. I just don't think Shorty will eat it.
gawd i feel like I failed him.

posted by arse_hat 10 August | 21:32

You did what you could, arse_hat. Don't beat yourself up about it.

posted by occhiblu 10 August | 21:35

You are right occhiblu but I was raised in an Irish Catholic family and somewhere along the way accepted the role of patron saint of lost causes so I take things to heart and derail my own train.

posted by arse_hat 10 August | 21:46

Taking it to heart is understandable, arse -- it's very sad that the cat is ill and that you didn't find out sooner. Occhiblu is right, though. You can't bear the responsibility for it. You just can't.

And there's still a chance that he'll be okay.

Sorry you're going through this. I know it's tough.

posted by mudpuppie 10 August | 21:49

It drives us insane but animals just want to "go off somewhere" to die. I couldn't bear it when my mother's darling PBGV decided she just wanted to lie down in the cool garden under a tree. I knew what she was ready to do and I literally begged her not to. She died that night, in my and my mom's arms.

Well, no, we got her to the vet, but she was gone by then. The vet said there was physical response but no consciousness.

I kinda wish now I'd let her die in the cool green garden where she wanted.
Damn, this just made me feel terrible again.

posted by stilicho 10 August | 21:59

That sucks, arse_hat. :P Good for you for trying to help him- you absolutely did NOT fail anybody. He's a wild animal- you can't give him the same treatment you'd give a tame animal. It's just not possible; trapping him while he's declining would cause him so much panic and stress, it would be crueler than letting nature take its course, IMO.

Keep an eye out for him, and be ready to assist if he DOES show back up. If he doesn't, and it sounds like he won't, at least he died peacefully and had many afternoons of comfort and companionship thanks to you and your cats, which is better than a lot of feral cats ever have.

posted by BoringPostcards 10 August | 22:05

I can't say anything that someone hasn't already said better, arse_hat. What they said. You are a fine human.

posted by mike9322 10 August | 22:11

(((arse_hat)))

It can be so difficult, human life. And kittie life, at that. The fact that you care speaks much louder than results.

posted by muddgirl 10 August | 22:16

You are both in my best thoughts.

posted by getoffmylawn 10 August | 22:33

It sounds like you did what you could for it. There are so many wild kitties out there struggling to survive, at least this one had someone trying to help it.

There was a kitten in my front shrubbery the other night, it was hissing at me. I was going to try to tame/catch it, but I have not seen it since.

posted by weretable and the undead chairs 10 August | 22:47

Thanks to you all. I fear this has been a tiny perfect storm of emotion.

Close to the anniversary of a cousin's death and fear for his mom (my aunt) who is 78 and facing some other issues 500 miles away from me. The ads for World Trade Center the movie, as neither myself or Rosemary are ready to look at that event with other than close friends or family. The fact that my collage lost my records and that jeopardizes my work in the U.S. and I need to pay lawyers deal with it. The fact that I have had to fight AOL to stop fucking over my 80 something in laws. The loss of a little cat who seemed to enjoy our home seems wrong.

Happily, soon we are going away for a bit. I can't afford it but it will be no email, Internet or business. I need to get some perspective.

You are all great. Thanks again.

posted by arse_hat 10 August | 22:59

Big hug, arse_hat. It's interesting, isn't it, how when things are overwhelmingly and quantifiably shitty, we focus on one little locus (the perfect storm, you called it) of pain.

You can't see this now, but good on you for focusing on the poor cat. A lot of other people would have placed their pain on a ding in the car door.

But again, big hug. Hope things get better for you soon.

posted by mudpuppie 10 August | 23:04

I can imagine how you feel. It's not always easy or even possible to help a stray. And if you love cats, you always want to try. Many sympathies for what sounds like an agonizing time.

Is there an animal control agency or even a volunteer animal rescue / fostering program that can be called to come help?

posted by scarabic 10 August | 23:06

Thanks pups.

scarabic, There are agencies to deal with feral and stray animals but they are not at all funded enough to deal with the level of problems here.

For the past few months I have been looking into what it would take to set up a charity to fund rescue efforts and free spay/neuter clinics.

I am thinking a community web site like Flickr for pet pictures. Revenue would come from text ads, premium subscriptions (more storage), and corporate sponsorship (a company pays for clicks to a max per day and gets a tax deduction). It sounds good to me but I just don't know much about charity corporations and it is taking a bit of time and money. Also, I just don't know that I could generate the traffic needed to make it work.

posted by arse_hat 10 August | 23:22

Sorry for the bad stuff, arsey. If you end up doing something along those lines, you can count on help from me regarding site design or whatever.

Get away and enjoy your holiday, sweetie.

posted by taz 11 August | 00:44

*hugs arse_hat*

I agree that hard as it is not to be able to help Shorty, the cat's probably happier being alone to die.

Sorry you've been having such a rough time. Time away and off the grid sounds like a good idea. It may cost financially, but sounds like it will be great for you emotionally & psychologically, so screw the money and go for it. We'll miss you, but our thoughts go with you.

posted by elizard 11 August | 03:02

arse_hat, you've done the best you could for Shorty. A cat's natural instinct is to go to ground to die. Don't beat yourself up over it.

posted by essexjan 11 August | 03:20

you are awesome, arse_hat. Shorty knew you cared about him for sure.

posted by By the Grace of God 11 August | 04:02

Oh arse, your heart's so big I can see it from here. And yeah, screw the money - perspective is more important. I hope yours gets restored and it's a wonderful time. Warm thoughts to you and Shorty.

posted by chewatadistance 11 August | 06:59

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