Most protracted sneezing fits. I am incapable of sneezing just once.

I'm a contender in the Drunken Belching category as well.

Complaining. I complain without being aware of it. I complain in my sleep. The best I can shoot for (and do!) is to make my complaints entertaining.

Can I tell you about this stupid author I have? She wins the world record for stupidity. No one could be stupider than her. NOT POSSIBLE.

Dropping heavy things on my feet.

Just dropping things period. At least a couple of times a day I will just drop something that I'm holding. Luckily, unlike pup, I have managed to develop a fantastic avoidance reflex with my feet.

You do do that a lot, pupps! Heh. "Doo doo"

Most oblivious.

I'm in serious contention for the longest period of unrequited love -- 26 years so far!

I hold the world record for spending the most time all alone and all by myself.

I dunno, getoffmylawn, I'd give you some tough competition for that one.

getoffmylawnandontomyporchsowecanchat?

that was one of Billy Ocean's early, discarded titles, right?

Time frittering. I can go days, weeks, months, or years without accomplishing a single thing.

I challenge you, Orange Swan! Starting.... NOW!

You are on your honor to post here when you get something done. You're soooooo dead.

mike9322, the "crush" record was for quantity of crushes (simultaneously, or over a 30-day period). I held that record for a while in the mid-'80s (there are also seperate age categories for "under 12", "12-20" and "old enough to REALLY know better" - I was in the 3rd category).

Also, I hold the record for killing the mst MeFi threads. 672. Of course, I got an early start.

Seriously, when I was an 'irregular regular' caller to a radio talk show while in college, I dedicated much of one summer to getting the "Longest Wait on Hold" record with the help of the host and his doofus phone screener. I didn't actually sit by the phone all summer, but I became a running gag at the big-time L.A. radio station and ironically, it helped me to later get the job replacing the doofus phone screener. And there was a serious effort to con the Guinness Book into putting me in. And somebody made t-shirts.
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Now you know... the Worst of the Story.

And OrangeSwan and mike9322, I have a bi-i-i-ig head start on that "time frittering" record. It'll be four years next Thursday since I got anything done. Yes, I've kept track. And this is not like the fake "Wait on Hold" record.

hair number 32,569 on my head has never been cut. It is now 47 feet long and growing. Thanks for asking!

I also walked a perfectly straight line from Woodbridge, VA to Rockville, MD. It took me 4 and a half years!

wow wendall, I covet your dedication to your absurb level of retardationism!

absurb level of retardationism
That is SO going to be the new tagline on my blog.

i covet the new tagline on your blog.

getoffmylawnandontomyporchsowecanchat?

Huh? and Wha?

I hold the record for tripping upstairs.