Beyond stupid →[More:]So I'm allocated this case file at work today.

Man buys house with a mortgage from Company X. A few years later, he's in financial hot water, having made several dozen fraudulent credit card and loan applications through different companies. He thinks that if he can pay off all the companies, the judge will smile favourably upon him during his criminal trial. But where can he get the money to pay them off?

He has a brainwave. He torches the house, and tries to collect on the insurance. The insurance company gets wind of the fact that he's about to stand trial for multiple frauds, and voids his insurance on the basis of material non-disclosure of relevant information.

Then he's also charged with arson and insurance fraud, which, as it turns out, add another five years to his prison sentence. Some brainwave, huh?

Now Company X is blissfully unaware all this is happening and it's only when he's sent to prison that his mortgage payments stop. Letters to the house are returned by the Royal Mail, and Company X sends out a field investigator, who reports back that the house is a boarded-up burned-out shell.

So Company X repossesses it as abandoned and puts it up for auction as a development site.

Now our Moron of the Week complains, from his prison cell where he's serving a long sentence for multiple fraud and arson that by repossessing his property Company X has ruined his credit rating and he wants compensation!

I'm trying to word 'fuck off' politely, but sometimes it's really difficult.