MetaChat - My little brother is moving back!

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15 April 2006

My little brother is moving back! →[More:]Okay, so he's 26; not so little. Still, I'm really excited. But here's the problem:

He's been in Minneapolis for the past seven years. He's been miserable there for the past year. He hates his job, and he's at that age where all your friends start coupling up, and he's alone.

He still has a couple of friends here in Lawrence, plus there's me, our parents, and my girlfriend. So there's a social base for him.

He has these feelings about moving back here being "giving up", or "cowardly". Like he's moving back because he couldn't cut it in th' Big City. I've tried to reassure him about this, and he's been talking about moving back here for over a year. He really wants to do it, but he still feels a little... funny about it.

Anyone have any ideas about how I can make the transition a little easier for him?

post by: interrobang at: 10:38 | 7 comments

Heck, I did it fourteen years ago, with husband and kids in tow. And that was after saying I would NEVER come back to Fayettenam ever again.

We really like it here now.

As to your bro, seven years IS cutting it in the Big City. He's just deciding to move on to the next thing.

posted by bunnyfire 15 April | 10:59

My sister moved back to the Chicago area last summer after 6 years in St. Louis. She was getting frustrated with things there, and missed this area, so she came back. (Of course it helped that she had a very good job opportunity up here!) She's really glad she came back.

posted by sisterhavana 15 April | 12:32

Why is it giving up if he's miserable there? Who would he be giving up on?

Personally, you couldn't pay me enough to live in a big city. I need my space.

Seven years is more than enough time to find out if it's a good fit. And it is apparently not.

posted by fenriq 15 April | 12:40

Like he's moving back because he couldn't cut it in th' Big City.

My impression is that Lawrence has actually started to get on people's radar in the last decade or so as an interesting place, while Minneapolis has started drifting into the Cleveland/Detroit/Trenton category (Minneapolitans, etc. reading this: except for you (and I live in total nowheresville so you've still got an edge on me)). He's making a smart change, and anyway it's not exactly a winner's move to stay in Minneapolis if there's nothing for him there.

And Bunnyfire is absolutely right. Seven years is making it.

posted by PinkStainlessTail 15 April | 12:56

I think everyone should live in a place that makes them happy. If the city doesn't make him happy, then he's doing the *brave* thing by moving back home, instead of trying to "stick it out" in a place that makes him unhappy.

posted by ThePinkSuperhero 15 April | 14:10

Good points, everyone. I think I'm going to tell him this: "you've lived there for long enough for it to be considered a success. Failure is not defined by how long you can live somewhere that you're miserable."

posted by interrobang 15 April | 16:31

What everyone else said.

Success is not sticking around in a shitty situation, success is getting out. Most people I know who need to move away, don't. They just can't do it, and they continue to suffer for it.

posted by safetyfork 16 April | 07:51

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