MetaChat - Update on my (not) jailbird daughter

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01 April 2006

Update on my (not) jailbird daughter First, for those who don't know the story...→[More:]daughter was falsely charged by wannabe boyfriend/stalker who was blocking her egress from his house. In order to escape she scratched him (she has NAILS, lemme tell you) and he called the cops. He embellished the story (saying she kicked him in the family jewels, etc. Not true-if she had he'd be singing soprano from now on.)

His plan was to drop the charges next day, but because it was charged under domestic violence (which is totally wacked because they did not and never had lived together, not to mention he was NOT her boyfriend) they had to ARREST her, fingerprint her and take a mug shot (which is now in your dictionary beside the word "pissed.")

Fast forward to this past thursday, where hubby and daughter went to the court hearing (me being the bipolar quivering jello I am went to spin class instead. Couldn't handle it. ) Judge was in a foul mood, but this worked in our favor...prosecutor tried to get a continuance (boy moved to Georgia right after this) but Judge tossed it out as the piece of total stupidity it was.

Yay, I say.

Moral of the story: If a dude is obsessed, get the restraining order and stay far, far away.

(By the way, bunnies, sorry for my absence and lack of participation lately. I had midterms, and am presently groaning under a load of schoolwork. I still lurk-and watch out in June, I'lll beeeee baaaaak in full force.

post by: bunnyfire at: 12:53 | 17 comments

I totally forgot that would all be on the front page. Admins, hope me! Posting while bipolar! AWK!

posted by bunnyfire 01 April | 12:54

Good to hear it's been tossed out, bunnyfire. What a dick (the stalker, I mean.)

posted by gaspode 01 April | 12:57

Hooray for reasonable jurists. God knows there are plenty who aren't reasonable.

posted by killdevil 01 April | 13:04

This had better not be another April Fool's joke.

But I'm going with not, I'm glad everything came out alright.

posted by fenriq 01 April | 13:06

Glad everythign worked out - hopefully that scumbag will stay in Georgia.

posted by porpoise 01 April | 13:10

No joke. Wish it were!

But if that fella ever comes back here I recommend he wear an athletic cup.

posted by bunnyfire 01 April | 13:15

If a dude is obsessed, get the restraining order and stay far, far away.

The rule of thumb—and it's important and effective—is to not interact with a stalker in any way whatsoever. A stalker prefers negative interaction to no interaction and it encourages them.

posted by kmellis 01 April | 14:12

Oh, by the way, although in this situation it was a screw-up, I'm glad to see the police treating what appeared to be a female-attack-male domestic violence situation seriously. Men abused by their female spouses is thought to be a very underreported crime, for obvious reasons. But it's known to exist, and since there's numerous indications it's underreported, it's a bigger problem than most people think.

posted by kmellis 01 April | 14:15

Glad it all worked out for you, bunnyfire.

posted by jrossi4r 01 April | 14:35

APRIL FOOLS!

posted by Eideteker 01 April | 15:00

Gah, do I have to show you people an arrest report?

posted by bunnyfire 01 April | 15:41

His plan was to drop the charges next day, but because it was charged under domestic violence (which is totally wacked because they did not and never had lived together, not to mention he was NOT her boyfriend) they had to ARREST her, fingerprint her and take a mug shot (which is now in your dictionary beside the word "pissed.")

My friend had the exact same thing happen. He spent months, and thousands of dollars dealing with the consequences of the state's action, even though both parties agreed that there was no problem the day after the "event". I understand that these laws are supposed to protect people who are really battered, but zero tolerance enforcement always leads to problems.

posted by knave 01 April | 16:57

Dang....knave, that makes me shudder.

posted by bunnyfire 01 April | 17:03

ARREST her, fingerprint her and take a mug shot (which is now in your dictionary beside the word "pissed.")

posted by: bunnyfire at: 12:53

This line cracked me up. :D Glad to hear it worked out, bunnyfire. Hopefully this guy is not one of my new neighbors.

posted by BoringPostcards 01 April | 17:15

There may be more nuances, but there are two different types of crimes: a crime that is thought to be only against another person, and a crime that is thought to be an affront to the "state". It is only in the case of the former that you can "drop the charges" (or, for that matter, bring charges). In the case of the latter, whether or not to bring charges and drop them is the prerogative of the DA and no one else.

Different jurisdictions classify different crimes differently. In the cases of domestic and sexual violence, in the past these crimes were seen as being in the personal category in most jurisdictions, but these days in most they are now in the state categories. This is a Very Good Thing because victims of these crimes tend to be unwilling to prosecute their attackers or will often change their minds partway through the process. In the new scheme, it's purely up to the DA whether to prosecute or not. The DA can prosecute with an unwilling victim, but usually won't because an uncooperative victim usually makes the case impossible, or too difficult, to win.

I know this from when I was a rape crisis advocate. In NM, rape is in the latter category and an individual can't bring or "drop" charges. Doesn't work that way.

posted by kmellis 02 April | 01:08

zero tolerance enforcement always leads to problems.

Zero tolerance for zero tolerance!

posted by grouse 02 April | 04:24

Damn straight.

posted by knave 04 April | 23:28

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