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29 March 2006

I want to be spoiled! This thread contains spoilers! [More:]So I got Kingdom Hearts II today, because all my favorite gamers say it's way improved over the first game, which I played and then dropped in disgust because of various issues with it. No camera control, lots of backtracking, etc. While I LURVE both Disney and Square, the issues I had with the game made it unplayable for me. (even more inside!)
I've played KHII for about an hour now, and am loving it. It seems a lot of issues I had with the first game have been resolved.

However, I have NO clue what happened in the first game to Sora and his buddies, nor do I have a Game Boy Advance to know what happened in Chain of Memories.

So ... SPOIL ME! Anyone out there willing to give me a brief synopsis of the game before I get into KHII much further will have my slavish devotion!

And if you have any other spoilers for anything else, feel free to do so, thusly:

DARTH VADER IS LUKE'S FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATHER!

See? Simple! SPOIL IT ALL!
posted by WolfDaddy 29 March | 20:01
willing to give me a brief synopsis of the first game and it's GBA follow-up

That's what I meant to say.

Also? Verbal Kint is Keyser Soze!
posted by WolfDaddy 29 March | 20:04
*gives WolfDaddy everything he asks for, gives in to his temper tantrums, and ruins every relationship he'll ever have before he even has it*
posted by mike9322 29 March | 20:05
Adrianna got wacked!
posted by mudpuppie 29 March | 20:11
The butler did it.
posted by tr33hggr 29 March | 20:11
Turns out the narrator did it.
posted by PinkStainlessTail 29 March | 20:19
Col. Mustard in the drawing room with a letter opener. ; >
posted by amberglow 29 March | 20:20
I shot the sheriff, but I did not shoot the deputy.
posted by crunch 29 March | 20:25
The ghost that comes into his room at night is his father.
posted by ethylene 29 March | 20:29
Darth Vader is Bruce Willis' ghost father who is a man and they actually live in the present day not the 18th century and they are allergic to water and Samuel Jackson is behind it all. Oh, and Sue Ellen shot J.R.
posted by ooga_booga 29 March | 20:37
They go to an exhibit and he sees a portrait that looks almost exactly like his father but definitely isn't. The whole reason for breaking his engagement, indirectly causing his mother's death and fleeing to the city is thrown into horrible doubt. A few chapters later, everybody dies.
posted by PinkStainlessTail 29 March | 20:40
rosebud was the sled
posted by pieisexactlythree 29 March | 20:44
Your daddy ain't your daddy, but yo daddy don't know.
posted by Triode 29 March | 20:46
These pretzels are making me thirsty.
posted by tr33hggr 29 March | 20:53
Looooooove that song, Triode.

Also, Bobby's in the shower so it was all a dream!
Damn, that's two Dallas spoilers right there.
Tim Robbins is about to die and it's all a fever dream!
Tom Cruise is just dreaming and Penelope Cruz is just eye candy dreamed up as he's in suspended animation!
Boromir loves Frodo!
The Lion is really Jesus!
Neo is the one!
Jeff Goldblum gets eaten!
Jeff Goldblum also defeats the aliens with an Apple!
The aliens die due to disease!
Goose is dead!
posted by ooga_booga 29 March | 20:58
Hidden in the letters is the message "DEAR ZAMPANO WHO DID YOU LOSE", which seems to indicate that everything except the Navidson record is a total fabrication on Johhny's part. Either that or his mom knew Zampano, which is a whole 'nother can of worms.
posted by PinkStainlessTail 29 March | 21:02
Baltar's a cylon! Adama's a cylon! Starbuck's a cylon!
posted by mike9322 29 March | 21:17
Hannah dies before Alex auditions for the Pittsburgh Ballet.
posted by birdherder 29 March | 22:00
Alicia Silverstone is REALLY IN LOVE WITH HER STEPBROTHER. Omg.
posted by Lipstick Thespian 29 March | 22:12
*leaves leftovers on the counter overnight*
posted by stilicho 29 March | 22:46
Aaron Echolls killed Lilly.
posted by Zozo 29 March | 22:49
Kaiser has a limp. Or maybe not.
posted by carmina 29 March | 23:04
Edward Norton is Tyler Durden.

And for real - tonight I really did make my wife sit down with me and watch "Fight Club" because I was tired of not being able to tell her that I sometimes wonder if Donnie (my badass, tattooed friend) is my Tyler Durden.

She says no, she knew him before she even met me. He's real.
posted by yhbc 29 March | 23:07
yes, wolfdaddy.
posted by carmina 29 March | 23:12
The boat sinks!
posted by sisterhavana 29 March | 23:15
Another one: BOB killed Laura Palmer.
posted by carmina 29 March | 23:25
The chick in "The Crying Game?" A dude.
posted by go dog go 29 March | 23:33
Ilse gets on the plane and leaves Rick. For ever. THE END.
posted by carmina 29 March | 23:37
And yes, King Arthur got arrested. By the boys in blue.
posted by carmina 29 March | 23:43
Deckard and Rachael live and leave.

do I need to say it? best. thread. ever!
posted by carmina 29 March | 23:50
It turns out that Tuttle's gone mad!
Ripley's the only one who survives!
Bishop is really an android!
Dante gets shot!
Dante doesn't get shot!
The swag is at the Caaaa... the Caaa... the Caaaaaaa... the Cathcart Towers Hotel!
Paul isn't dead!
The 1989 World Series? Earthquake!
The Japanese surrender!
Germany surrenders!
Not in that order!
posted by ooga_booga 30 March | 00:57
Turns out that Bruce Willis' character is ALREADY DEAD!
posted by small_ruminant 30 March | 00:59
Despite Oscar's protestations, they kept the curtains.
posted by shmegegge 30 March | 01:01
ooga, you've got the ending to brazil wrong. It's Sam Lowry who's gone mad. Tuttle was Robert DeNiro's character, and he's just fine if an outlaw.
posted by shmegegge 30 March | 01:02
Harrison Ford is really an android, too, possibly. Allegedly. It's up for debate. But man is Edward James Olmos creepy at the end.
posted by shmegegge 30 March | 01:06
no! deckard must not be a replica. It changes the whole story, you see? *pouts*
posted by carmina 30 March | 01:19
ah, but you've forgotten the red glowy eyes from the director's cut!
posted by shmegegge 30 March | 10:27
So, in the end, is he a replicant or not? It all depends on how one interprets the clues and perhaps even one's perception of the answer before one chooses the interpretations of clues and lines

Nice read to start my day, thank you. The second part of the quote does it for me: I do not want him to be android. If Deckard is a replicant we are losing the whole "transcending the boundaries of human nature" idea and it is less romantic (he saves her because she is his keen) you see? I think Scott himself did not really want to make him a replicant and this is why he does not explicitly says so. But he adds the innuendo for flavoring. thank you thank you!
posted by carmina 30 March | 10:55
*bows head in shame*
This just means I need to rewatch Brazil a.s.a.p.!

Oh, and Dorothy was probably dreaming all along.
posted by ooga_booga 30 March | 13:21
Oh, and Dorothy was probably dreaming all along.


YOU JUST RUINED GOLDEN GIRLS!
posted by PinkStainlessTail 30 March | 19:06
PST FTW! and your welcome carmina, and ooga there's no need to be ashamed. It's MY favorite movie, so I'm the only one required to know that.
posted by shmegegge 31 March | 03:13
Radio Mike! || pic of the day?

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