MetaChat - I'm looking for an attorney

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13 March 2006

I'm looking for an attorney →[More:]A criminal attorney. A very criminal attorney. The ungodly have delivered themselves into my hands and I am now moving to swoop down upon them with a merry pirate crew to loot, rape, pillage, rape, plunder, rape, and burn (in that order, not like the last time) their little establishment until there's nothing left but a smoking hole in the ground strewn with wreckage and mutilated corpses.

Dios Ire, mofos! The day of reckoning has come!

I'm want an attorney who will make Oscar Ocosa look like a subdued wimp. One with the courtroom manners of Robert Newton, the style of George Saunders and the morals of Hunter S. Thompson.

* cackles evilly while passing out pirate hats, cutlasses, boarding pikes and grenades as party favors *

post by: warbaby at: 10:20 | 4 comments

I don't know much about criminal attorneys, but I do know this:

You want one that goes only by their last name and if possible has a droopy eye.

posted by Divine_Wino 13 March | 10:59

Well, I just spent the last four hours pounding the streets, sitting on leather couches, exchanging witty reparte with various secretaries and attorneys. I've got one good prospect lined up and a couple of possibilities.

* cackles evilly *

Now to write some more demand letters to the ungodly and get them buzzing like a beehive on fire.

* hums *

Well, Mills has a frozen eye, but he's not an attorney.

posted by warbaby 13 March | 15:12

Dios ire, dies irae?

posted by kenko 13 March | 20:36

Wrath of God, yes indeedy. Pardon my phonetic Latin.

posted by warbaby 14 March | 18:06

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