I was recently told that I had 'just the right mix of cynicism and warmheartedness.'

"You're the only reason I haven't killed anyone...and who knows? You might be the only reason anyone hasn't killed themself..."

Verbally: The chief investigator at the Public Disclosure Commission once introduced me to the staff as "the best investigator in the state."

Operationally: In 1999, I was flown to DC, expenses paid, to speak at a conference on terrorism and weapons of mass destruction. It was the only quasi-official recognition I ever got for my work.

In Writing: my sister gave me a birthday card this year with a picture of Michael Caine in The IPCRESS File and the inscription, "Some dudes are just cool."

* pounds chest, yodels, cackles evilly *

A friend online, when pressed to describe me, said when he thought of me he thought of the Lemon Glo sketch from SNL - the one where the woman was gonna steal her husband's telescope and sell it for pot, but decided to stay and give the family thing a try.

A former co-worker called me the Grim Reaper.

I was deeply moved by both.

At a wedding a couple of weeks ago a man told me I looked 'delicious'. That was a lovely thing to hear.

At work I was chosen to represent my organisation at a big industry conference. Yes, me,she who's always thinking "I wonder when they'll find out I know nothing about this job at all ..."

I wonder when they'll find out I know nothing about this job at all

Just FYI, everyone wonders that all the time... except for those arrogant incompetents.

I was unexpectedly introduced as the most energetic, creative and positive member of our think tank at a press awards meeting a few weeks ago. It caused me to forget what I was going to say when they handed me the mic. It wasn't pretty, but probably not detectable by the hundreds of eyes and ears. I hope.

I've been told by several different colleagues over the past few years that I am the best programmer they know. Also, in my business, spending more than 3-6 months on a contract is rare. This is my fifth year on my current contract; the customer continuing to renew me is a huge unspoken compliment.

The funniest was, "I really like you. It's a shame you're going to hell."

this week had the following happen:

1. My manager at Starbucks told me I was the nicest person they'd had in their dept. in a long, long time. Another co-worker said I was doing a fabulous job.

2. Both Eideteker and Mygothlaundry said I was one of the best Metachat DJ's they'd ever heard.

3. I was told by another Metachatter that I was "a catch." Not saying who, though.

Ooh, that's easy. Long story though. Bear with me?

1. A temp I worked with for several months found a new job. When she left, she came over to my desk a little blurry eyed and said, "Now that I'm leaving all I can think about is Dorothy at the end of the Wizard of Oz, where she says to the Scarecrow, 'I think I'll miss you most of all.'"

I had a slightly sad Xmas just following that, but everythime I thought of what she said I brightened and smiled a little.

2. My uncle George was in WWII and Korea, and he was sort of like Hawkeye Pierce if Hawkeye weren't a pacifist. He survived all kinds of insanity, including Chosin, making him one of the "Chosin Few."

He only survivied by his wits and his humor, plus constant pranks, and alcohol in any form he could get it (including aftershave.)

One frozen winter day I used my old locksmith tools to open Uncle George's truck when the keys were locked inside, and nothing would work because it had a big anti-theft plate in the door, but I finally got it open. At that satisfying moment when the lock button popped up after a half-hour standing in the cold, George laughed out loud, put out his hand to shake mine, and said, "You coulda been my foxhole buddy any day!" Your foxhole buddy was the guy who had your back.

I'm not a "war kinda guy," but that had to be one of the biggest compliments I'll ever receive. I told him so. I must have blushed.

3. My Tai Chi teacher, a wonderful, gifted old Chinese fellow we sometimes called Yoda, used to pull me aside after class and show me a brush painting he had done of the Chinese character for shen. With his accent he pronounced my name Shen, and he would always show me that character and say, "This is you. Shen. This mean spirit."

4. And once, my Tai Chi teacher's best student, also my teacher, paid me an accidental compliment. He would never compliment me no matter how well I did, he'd just compliment everyone else and then say, "And Shane needs to eat less Ho Hos." (I was 30# heavier back then.)

But one day he was trying to demonstrate a move on me, and everytime he started to move I'd sense it and move just slightly before he did. I just didn't want to be tossed around that day. Finally he gave up and said, "I need to demonstrate this on someone else. Shane keeps moving just before I do"

5. Similarly, my Mom took Tai Chi lessons from the old Chinese fellow, Mr Huang, at the local senior citizens center, and she received a compliment from Mr Huang. One day Mr Huang asked everyone, one by one, to come up to the front of the class and push on his arm and try to move him. Mr Huang stood perfectly relaxed and still and no one could budge him even slightly.

Later I spoke with my Mom about it and she looked utterly perplexed, staring off into the distance. She said, "Shane, when it was my turn, I tried to push on his arm the way he said, and I couldn't even touch his arm. I couldn't get my fingers closer than an inch away from him."

I said, "Mom, he likes you. He showed you something."

I don't think I'm egotistical, but these are the things that have made me feel good.

"You're not real nice, but I never saw anyone work harder." This from a paid blue-collar worker on the Ohio Kerry campaign, who himself had worked a pretty punishing schedule, to me, an unpaid volunteer on the campaign.

For reference, I hadn't worked with the guy, mostly just passed him in the hallways, and my lack of niceness probably had to do with my being pre-occupied; I tend to like to walk around (and smoke) when I'm thinking about work questions.

The hard work had to do with working late into the night, and occasionally into the next morning, sleeping at the headquarters, and about 42 hours without sleep immediately before the polls closed.

A tranny kid came up to me on the street and said, very shyly, "You're beautiful." I thought it was sweet.

Oh, and a girl in the Antwerp train station asked in several languages if she could take a photo of me, which I will interpret as a compliment of some kind because, shit, that's dedication.

And some user feedback on software:

"I don't know how to thank you for the great job you have made with this software. I only can say: THANK YOU!"

and

"I was dying for this feature... It makes perfect sense, should be default...."

A friend of mine told me that he and another girl were talking about a really exclusive club they'd joined.

He turned to the girl and said, "Hey, I think this might actually make us cooler than Stacey!"
He said they both thought about it for a second and at the same time said "Naaaah!"

That was nice to hear!

"I took your advice, and everything worked out just great!"

Gives me hope for you young un's learning to trust the wisdom of your elders.

Of course, my second most favorite compliment is that I give great (boldboldbigbigbigbolditalicssuperscriptbigboldtagshere) head.

Hmm, now that you mention it, I, too, have been told that I am good with the oral sex. That's always nice to hear.

*picture wolfdaddy sitting on porch with shotgun and sheepdog smoking corncob pipe*

My fiance wanted to be with me. Best compliment I could ever get.

My sheepdog doesn't smoke, and bitches about me smoking all the time. Says I'm gonna kill him with secondhand smoke.

"So you're the lucid dreamer."
(my reputation proceeds me?)

"Don't get sidetracked."

Advice from a college writing instructor.

(I did)

I was once called "frighteningly competent" by a former boss.

And, in the backhanded compliment department, a friend once said to me, "You have the biggest heart of anyone I know. Why are you such an asshole?"

Actually, after sex, a woman once told me she found me attractive because I 'seem so pathetic.' Well, you take it where you find it I guess.

I'm often told I'm "officer material". Sometimes its a compliment, sometimes its not.

"You are evil incarnate," said the mister a few minutes ago.

And, at the risk of embarrassing her, a couple days ago mudpuppie said she was glad to see me in chat. It's hard for me to believe anyone is glad to see me.

Please, deborah. You are an inherently lovable person. If you don't know that, you should.

1. My best friend (whose virginity I took and he's thanked me for it ever since) told me that I have the kind of body that was built for sex.

2. This guy I had a crush on who ended up being like a long-lost brother to me told me that I have the kind of breasts that people have plastic surgery to attain.

3. Gus from Red Vs. Blue told me at Katsucon that I was the "most competent Guest Relations person they have ever worked with."

4. I always get complimented on my skin, and one guy told me recently that I was like an angel and had golden skin.

When my parents entrusted me with executing their living will if necessary, and taking care of their personal affairs if they are both killed/incapacitated at the same time. It's not really a compliment I wanted, but considering how much of a fuckup I was earlier in my adulthood, I'm glad they think I'm competent to handle this.

A writing professor once singled me out in my screenplay writing class. He held my script aloft and said, "This...This is the best screenplay I've ever read. Not the best student screenplay. Not the best amateur screenplay. The. Best. Screenplay. If this was made into a movie exactly as it's written, you could build an entire career around it. Well done."

He told me he'd given a copy to fellow professor (and NPR celeb) Andrei Codrescu, who found it "riotous." He then went on to tell the class to remember my name because they'd be hearing it soon at awards ceremonies.

I haven't finished a screenplay since.

ColdChef, did you ever try to get the screenplay made into a film?

HAH! That's the worst thing.

Once I graduated from college, I started shopping it around to friends with contacts. Unfortunately, about six months after I started showing it around, "Freaks and Geeks" came out which was thematically VERY SIMILAR to my screenplay, so mine came off as a copy-cat.

So, I started work on my next project: a screenplay about the trials and tribulations in my family's funeral business. Right before "Six Feet Under" came out.

And so I gave up.

I wanna see it, ColdChef! Who needs a production company? I'm seeing visions of "A Metachat Production"...

I don't get compliments.

It's true; I don't.

That's a mighty purty sentence you just wrote there, skrik.

... a friend once said to me, "You have the biggest heart of anyone I know. Why are you such an asshole?"
Well, I get one half of that all the time.

1. "When I'm ready to go up into the clock tower with an automatic rifle, you'll be the one who talks me down."

2. Lola Hotchacha!